


Chase the Dark

by fogsblue



Series: Chase the Dark [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Dark Doctor (Doctor Who), Drama, Dubious Consent, Episode Fix-It: s04e17-18 The End of Time, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Possessive Behavior, Post-Episode: s04e16 Waters of Mars, Romance, Smut, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-01-07 22:20:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 78,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1125044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fogsblue/pseuds/fogsblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Mars, the Doctor misses something important. Instead, he reorganises his priorities. First: Get back Rose Tyler. Second: Find way to keep Rose Tyler. Forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started when I was throwing plot bunnies at people and one hit the wall and bounced back at me. Basically, a post Waters of Mars fic, the Doctor misses Adelaide's suicide, so doesn't get the shock he needs to help push him in the right direction. 
> 
> A huge thanks to the all the wonderful people who've encouraged and supported and offered advice on this fic. I would have thrown it in without all your help!

Adelaide Brooke stares at the Doctor, her voice wavering as she asks, “Is there nothing you can’t do?”

“Not anymore,” says the Doctor, a smirk twisting his lips upward. Adelaide watches him warily as he turns from her and steps back into the TARDIS.

The TARDIS de-materialises, the Doctor unaware as a gunshot rings out into the otherwise silent street.

Already, he’s busy making plans and forming ideas, many to be discarded as impractical or totally ineffective. There is no point getting what he wants most, if the universe ends before he can enjoy it. But some… Oh some of his ideas, he thinks, have a lot of potential. He has saved someone the Rules said he couldn’t and the universe continues on its merry way. He can do anything.

“I _will_ get her back,” the Doctor says, calm and certain. A promise, threat, to the universe.

He paces around the console, a slow controlled walk with muscle memory leading his feet as he loses himself in possibilities. He considers and discards ideas about Torchwood and Bad Wolf Bay. There is a plan with the paradox machine and Donna’s own parallel universe, but the effects are too unpredictable and chances of success low. Another idea scrapped.

Frustrated, the Doctor faces the console and slams his hands down on it. He roars, “There is a way and I _will_ find it!”

Stalking out of the console room he mutters under his breath as he contemplates the task ahead of him. He doesn’t care how long it takes, he will find a way. Almost unaware of his surroundings, he moves through his bedroom and into the en suite. He sheds his clothes, all his attention focussed inwards. Even as the hot water pounds his skin, he still moves without awareness. While showering clears his head a little, it does not give him any answers.

The Doctor smacks his fist into the wall and growls. He feels like he is missing the answer and the anger he feels at the selfish, ungrateful universe grows. If it comes down to a choice between getting what he wants and the universe needing patching, well... He’s been fixing the universe for centuries now, it isn’t like he’s going to stop.

Unless none of his plans work. Because if he can’t find a way, he chuckles mirthlessly, the universe can pay the price for always taking away the best parts of his life.

No matter the cost, in the end, the Doctor knows he will pay it to get Rose Tyler back.

He picks up his suit, walks back into his bedroom and drops the suit on his bed. Letting his mind wander back to the start, to ‘Run’, he follows down the times and places where he could find and take her from. It’s as he picks up his jacket that the Doctor stops moving, remembering with crystal clarity, the last moments he saw her.

When he had _stupidly_ left her behind on that _fucking_ beach with the other version of himself.

The one who wore a blue suit.

Dropping the blue jacket, not caring where it falls, he rushes to his wardrobe, ripping open the cupboards and the drawers. He pulls out oxfords and ties, pants and socks, vests and tees until he finds what he hopes, needs, to be there.

A simple, plain maroon tee. No markings, no buttons, rather slim fitting. And exactly what the ‘other’ Doctor had been wearing when he’d left them behind.

“Well, well,” he mutters to himself, smirking. “I think I have a plan.”

Only minutes later the Doctor wears the maroon tee underneath his blue suit and strides into the console room. He’s already programming a new setting into his sonic screwdriver, not wasting any more time than he has too. Some steps in his plan are easy, it’ll be hard for anything to go wrong, but some steps will require a bit more work. He finishes the setting on the sonic and slips the screwdriver into his pocket, then slips under the console. It will not do, he knows, for him to get his Rose back, only to lose the TARDIS and the universe.

Time passes, but so focussed on the task at hand, Time Lord that he is, the Doctor can’t say how much. Minutes or hours later, he pulls himself from under the console and switches on his sonic. There’s a low hum from the TARDIS and a new light on the console lights up. He smiles tightly, his modification working as it should.

The small device that he has wired into the console will lock his TARDIS inside the earlier one, so that wherever the early one goes, even across the void, his will go too. When the device is deactivated, his TARDIS will disconnect and the dematerialisation of the other TARDIS will leave his behind. The new setting on his sonic will allow him to unlock it from outside both ships.

When his _idiot_ younger self leaves Rose behind, with him, he’ll still have his TARDIS, ready to bring him and his Rose back to their proper universe.

Flicking it off, the Doctor calculates the coordinates he will need for next trip. He checks and rechecks his calculations as he enters the coordinates into the TARDIS. There are risks, he knows, in planning to land one TARDIS inside another, especially if one of them is falling into the heart of the Dalek Crucible.

But if it takes him the rest of his lives, he will manage it.

With uncommon ease and stability, on the first try the Doctor’s current TARDIS lands inside the earlier one. After hastily checking he’s landed in an out of the way location, he flicks on the small device and watches as the small red light turns on. He smirks. The first step is complete.

Realising he’s wasting time, and if he isn’t careful, Donna might actually hit the jar containing his hand, the Doctor leaves his TARDIS. He runs into the old console room, shoes slapping on the grating. When Donna turns towards the noise, he enjoys the shock and surprise on her face as she backs up in shock, moving towards the golden energy swirling around the jar.

“Stop!” he shouts at her, the command in his voice enough to make even Donna Noble pause. “Do not go _near_ that hand.”

Donna glares and opens her mouth to say something, but gets no further than, “Oi!” before he cuts her off.

“Do _not_ start with me, Donna,” says the Doctor, biting out every word. “Certain things need to happen _right_ now and I do not have time to deal with you.”

Giving her no further opportunity to speak or act the Doctor moves in front of her. Donna blinks and, for the first time, she looks truly scared of him. Right now, she’s not his friend. She’s just another pawn in his plan, someone with a role to play. She tries to back away.

“No,” he snaps. Hands fly up to her head, holding it in place, his fingers moving quickly to her temples. “Don’t leave, Donna. I have plans and you, well, you have an important part to play.”

In the back of the Doctor’s mind he can head a small voice saying he shouldn’t do this. It’s quickly being drowned out by rage and his desperate need. All it takes is a small push and he can see anything he might want to in Donna’s mind. Which is nothing; he has no interest in what might be going through her mind. Instead, he focuses solely on finding the point where her new memories need to be placed. With the vague description she once gave him about the metacrisis’ creation and his educated guess, he creates the memories for her.

Taking no care to protect her from the onslaught of information flowing through his own mind, the Doctor moves deeper into Donna’s, planting suggestions, actions, and entire conversations, all the knowledge she’ll need to help stop the Daleks. Making sure that everything he remembers her saying or doing, she’ll still do. To him it feels like hours, but he knows only minutes pass as he makes sure every trigger is perfectly set. He’ll not allow anything to go wrong. No one can suspect that he is anything other than a _copy_ , he thinks with a snarl.

Knowing Donna’s mind will require some time to recover from the hastily added information, the Doctor carefully picks up his spare hand. Making sure to avoid the regeneration energy that swirls around it, he starts moving through the TARDIS. He needs it to be somewhere safe, he knows, or things could unravel. Though more important than things unravelling, he admits to himself, is that he suspects this energy could make the forever Rose once promised him, something actually resembling that.

So it needs be somewhere his younger self won’t stumble across it. And the answer is right in front of him; a door marked with a rose. He knows his earlier self will never go near this room, the memories of the girl who once lived inside too painful for him to face. He doesn’t worry she might stumble across it, because when he has her back, oh, she won’t be staying in there either.

On his way back to the console room and Donna, he quickly collects the parts for something that will looklike a Z-Neutrino biological inversion catalyser. The device will be of no use, he is aware, but it needs to be seen. As he sits on the jump seat, piecing the parts together he glares at Donna, still slumped on the floor and wills her to recover faster. The sooner they move, the sooner the Daleks can be stopped and the sooner he will have his Rose.

Lost in thoughts of Rose, he suddenly hears Donna ask, “So, what is this thing?”

“It's our only hope. A Z-Neutrino biological inversion catalyser,” he says, well aware she won’t understand.

“Yeah. Earth-girl, remember?” she points out with a sigh.

He resists the urge to roll his eyes and just ignore her. Instead, knowing the catalyser did nothing, he gives her a simple lie. “It will destroy the Daleks by locking onto their genetic code and turn their own weapons against them.”

“ _That_ is going to destroy the Daleks?” she asks, disbelief obvious.

The Doctor smirks. “Biggest backfire in history,” he replies, not referring to the catalyser but the events to follow. He stands and smacks his way around the console, checking coordinates and moving the TARDIS to where she needs to be.

He steps out into the Crucible and the Doctor fights to keep his attention from Rose. If he looks at her now, he won’t stop and there will be an even _more_ overwhelming temptation to pick her up, take her into the TARDIS, and just leave. Instead he focuses on his earlier self, standing there, actually listening to Davros. The stupid git will let those words sink in, take them to heart and let them guide his actions on that bloody beach.

Letting that anger flow over him, he charges at Davros, knowing what happens next will hurt. It’s worth it though, he thinks, for the reward.

There is something fascinating, the Doctor finds, in watching these events unfold from a different perspective. He watches Donna get shot just before he’s captured. He sees Donna stand and, using the knowledge he has given her, free him and his younger self. When he’s free, he continues to fight the strengthening urge to go to Rose and it takes almost everything he has. Snapped back to attention by Donna claiming to be part Doctor, he resists the impulse to laugh at his younger self’s idiocy.

Everyone gathers together, Sarah Jane and Rose catching up as they push Daleks around and Jack’s making jokes. They all watch him and his younger self, with Donna’s help, stop the Daleks and send the planets back. More than once, the Doctor finds himself glancing at Rose, to see if she looks his way. He finds it pleasing when he catches her watching him, possibly more than she does the brown suited fool. Even if she looks unsure, at least she is seeing him. It’s a good start, he thinks.

Pulled from his musings of Rose, Dalek Caan reveals the rest of the prophecy and he knows what has to happen next. And he is _more_ than happy to do it. When Donna tells him to wait for the Doctor he practically snarls, “I _am_ the Doctor!”

Daleks scream and explode and he hears his younger self yell, “What’ve you done?”

The Doctor finds it so tempting to point out he’d done what needed to be done but knowing it’s not the time, he just says, “Fulfilled the prophecy.”

“Do you know what you've done? Now, get in the TARDIS!” the earlier Doctor yells.

The Doctor suppresses the urge to yell at the git in the brown suit, asking what else he should have done with an empire of Daleks, invite them over for afternoon tea, perhaps. He runs into the TARDIS, stopping just inside the door to watch every one run in.

When everyone is in, he walks over and stands by the console, watching as the tow rope for Earth is sorted out. It takes all his self-control not to grab Rose and take her away from the idiot making jokes about ‘spatial genetic multiplicity’. That idiot doesn’t deserve her smiles, or her laughter. The Doctor knows that, by this stage, that version of him has already decided he is going to leave Rose behind, in a world that is not her own, without a word. He doesn’t know, but he suspects, even with a Doctor beside her, that would, or will, hurt her.

The anger at his younger self calms as Rose moves closer and watches him. The Doctor isn’t sure what shows on his face, but he assumes it’s good when she graces him with a small flirtatious smile, her eyes bright and considering. He almost lashes out, barely holding back his fist at the brief interruption from the bloody idiot. But when Rose barely acknowledges the younger man, quickly turning her attention back to him, he calms and grins back at her.

When they land in a London park, the Doctor lets his younger self deal with all the farewells. His eyes constantly follow Rose while he speaks to Donna, slightly concerned about how much she knows. He is well aware of what happens to her soon, though not for the reasons he’d thought at the time. He knows, now, when he’d planted the memories and triggers, he hadn’t shielded his own mind properly in his rush and excess information had seeped from his mind into hers. In many ways, it worked to his advantage, making the metacrisis much more believable.

The small voice from earlier again suggests he should feel guilty for what will happen, has happened to Donna. Honestly, he admits to himself, he’s more concerned that she might not last long enough to play her final part in this production. His memories tell him she will, but he doesn’t like any variable that could cost him his Rose.

“There's time for one last trip,” says the younger Doctor as he returns to the TARDIS console. “Dårlig Ulv Stranden.”

He didn’t notice it last time, but this time, so attuned to Rose, her every movement and each gesture she makes, he sees it, the way she flinches. Like someone has just punched her. He realises, that even now, she suspects his younger self’s intentions.

The Doctor knows the git in the brown suit is blocking out everything about Rose, the fear of what would happen if he didn’t drives him on. The idiot says, “Better known as…”

But he sees it, he sees Rose’s eyes briefly slip shut and watches her take a deep breath and he realises something he didn’t consider. Once she knows who he is, will she want to come with him still? To her, he was, will be, the stupid bastard that leaves her behind on that bloody beach. She could easily be too angry and upset to want anything to do with him. Though, he thinks, her not wanting to come won’t stop him. No matter what, Rose Tyler will leave Bad Wolf Bay and that universe with him.

The next few minutes pass him by in a blur, landing the TARDIS, seeing and setting foot on that _fucking_ beach for what, the Doctor decides, will be the last time. He is vaguely aware of a brief conversation with Jackie about her youngest child; there might even be some joking. The only person he’s really seeing or hearing though, is Rose. He watches her stand strong while her voice reveals the pain she’s holding in, as best as she can and he falls for her, just a bit more. He wants to run over to her, take her in his arms and promise it’s not as bad as she thinks, but it’s not time yet.

Sliding his hand into his jacket, the Doctor flicks on his sonic and deactivates the little newly installed device in his TARDIS. Now, when the idiot finally up and leaves, his TARDIS will still be here, ready to give him and Rose the universe. He snaps from his thoughts when he hears the younger idiot say, “He's too dangerous to be left on his own.”

“You made me!” he snaps back. And now, well, now he realises just how true that is. Everything he is now comes from the git in brown listening to Davros and then deciding he knows better than everyone. The Doctor briefly wonders if it’s wrong to want to punch himself so bloody much.

Focussing back on Rose, the Doctor listens as the idiot basically tries to sell him to her, by appealing to her caring and forgiving side. There’s a slight ache in his heart when she tries to say he’s not the Doctor, but he knows she doesn’t understand yet.

“He needs you. That’s very me,” the brown suited bastard says. The Doctor has a brief thought about how the idiot obviously still needs Rose, but certainly doesn’t deserve her. He then lets his attention shift, momentarily, from Rose to Donna. It’s her turn and he breathes a tiny sigh of relief as the trigger works and she suggests he tell Rose what the metacrisis would mean.

The Doctor almost laughs with relief while he spins a spiel about one heart and one life and when she asks, growing old with her. He’s barely paying attention to the words as he waits for the moment when she touches him again, her hand resting on one of the hearts that beats only for her. He stares down at her, trying to let Rose see he’ll do anything for her.

Rose moves away and the Doctor follows her, knowing what will happen next, but unprepared for the effect her tears have on him. He has that urge to lash out and stop what is hurting her, protect her from the pain. When he stands besides her, facing the man he once was, he wants to snarl at the prick. Focusing so intently on Rose, he hears every hitch in her breath and every bit of heartbreak in her voice. And all of it means he has to continue fighting back the urge to deal with what’s hurting her.

The idiot in brown, who asks Rose, “Does it need saying?”

The Doctor knows if he hadn’t been aware of what came next, he would have stepped over and laid the arsehole out. Instead he watches Rose, waiting for the question he _needs_ to answer.

“And you, Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?” she asks him and before she’s even finished the question he’s placing his hand on her arm and leaning towards her.

He lets his lips brush her ear, unable to resist the temptation of Rose’s skin, and putting every bit of emotion he feels for her into his voice, he whispers, “I love you.”

Seconds feel like hours as he waits for Rose to make her move, and there’s this fear that maybe somewhere along the way he’s messed up and she won’t and he desperately needs her too. And then she’s grabbing the lapels on his jacket and pulling his face to hers. All thoughts fly from his mind as he loses himself in the feel of Rose’s lips on his. There’s no open mouths, no tongues involved, but there’s a connection and it’s _Rose_. Her taste, her smell, the feel of her, with him. He’s kissing Rose, she’s kissing him, and he thinks he’s never felt anything so perfect. Yet.

It feels even better when her arms slide around his neck and it’s like she’s trying to remove any possible space between them. It’s a notion he sympathises with as he wraps his arms around her, not letting even air separate them. There’s nothing that could make this moment better, he thinks. Except maybe the way her hands slip up his neck and the way her body curves into his as he pushes towards her.

Then, suddenly, it stops, Rose breaks away from him and it’s like someone has torn a limb from him. The Doctor realises he’s hearing the TARDIS and he didn’t know this happened. He didn’t know that she would stop kissing him when she heard that familiar sound. It occurs to him, that from here on he has no idea what will happen next. It’s now entirely up to him to make this work.

Rose turns to him, as he moves up beside her and he can hear her confusion as she asks, “But, if he just left, how’s the TARDIS still here?”

The Doctor smiles, takes both her hands and places them over his hearts. “It’s me, Rose. The Doctor, not just a copy,” he says, almost spitting the word out, “but your actual Doctor. And that’s my TARDIS.”

“But, why did you…” Rose begins to ask, trailing off as if she isn’t sure which question to ask first.

“I will explain it all to you Rose, everything you need to know,” he says. The Doctor knows there’s some things she can’t be told. Not yet, maybe not ever. “But we don’t have much time. I’m here because I want, no, I _need_ you with me. And the TARDIS there, she’s waiting to take us back to our universe. Please say you’ll come with me, Rose.”

He doesn’t tell her that he won’t leave this beach without her, but watching her nod, he wonders if she knows.

“Just let me say goodbye, okay,” she says.

The Doctor nods at her, but keeps a firm grip on her hand. Until they are safely on the TARDIS, he will not relinquish his hold. As they approach her mum, the woman in tears, he suspects Jackie’s known since she saw the remaining TARDIS what would happen next. It’s hard for him to let go of Rose, but he does, though only long enough for the two women to hug and exchange tearful goodbyes.

Once mother and daughter have finished their farewells, he quickly takes Rose’s hand again, needing that physical connection. Before he and Rose turn away, Jackie hugs him quickly and says, “Promise me, Doctor, you’ll keep her safe, always.”

“Jackie, I promise you, there’s nothing I won’t do to keep Rose safe. Forever,” the Doctor replies and knows, in every fibre of his being, the truth of that promise. The look on Jackie’s face suggests she does too. He’s not entirely sure if Rose accepts the truth of it yet, but that’s okay, he thinks, she will soon.

The Doctor looks at their hands, then at Rose. She’s sad, but she’s holding strong and he knows she’s ready. Almost as one, they turn and walk to his ship. They enter and he moves to the console, only letting go of her hand when he must. He enters the required coordinates and, as quickly as possible, flies the TARDIS through the void.

As soon as the ship settles into her proper Vortex, he turns back to Rose. She stands such a short distance away and yet, it’s too far. Before he can even form a real thought, the Doctor is standing in front of her and wrapping her up in his arms.

“Rose,” the Doctor breathes, burying his face in her hair, “ _My_ Rose.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, ahoy! (Slight dubcon warnings for this chapter).

“ _My_ Rose,” the Doctor says, his breath whispering past her ear.

A shiver runs down her spine. Rose has seen the Doctor angry when she’s been in danger, and jealous when she’s flirted, but never before has she heard that tone in his voice before. Like he will hold onto her, always, and beware anything or anyone who tries to stop him.

Leaning back in his arms a little, she looks up into his eyes, which are dark but focusing solely on her. She opens her mouth, trying to find the words and she can’t. Her mouth feels dry; she tries to swallow and quickly licks her lips. The Doctor’s eyes drop and he’s staring at her lips like they hold the answers to everything. She knows she’s blushing when he licks his own lips and suddenly he drops down to kiss her.

At first, it’s like the kiss they just shared back on the beach and she thinks she might be floating. Despite what he’d said to her mother, Rose was a little worried he would run from her, from this, when they were back on the TARDIS, like he always used to. She’s relieved that she was wrong, so very wrong, and when he tongue flicks at her lips, she realises he suspects her mind is wandering. And he doesn’t appreciate it. She opens her mouth and suddenly _their_ soft press of lips is now _him_ kissing her. He’s using his tongue to take control of her mouth as his arms tighten around her. She can’t hold back a soft moan. It spurs him on, because suddenly she’s up against the console and there’s an obviously aroused Time Lord holding her there.

Rose’s movements stop. She’s not quite ready for this. She needs a shower and she needs sleep. And she needs a few moments to understand what happened today. Sliding her hands between them, she pushes gently at his chest. When he growls and pulls her closer, she freezes. It’s that which seems to gain his attention and he leans back. His eyes are glazed and his arms aren’t loosening but he’s still and quiet, at least.

She’s a little nervous, but takes a breath and speaks quietly, “Doctor, not that I don’t want to continue this. I do, so much. But, I need a shower, and some sleep. And then, we need to talk a bit, too.”

The Doctor doesn’t speak, but he nods. He backs up a little and Rose can’t help but notice just how aroused he is. Something he isn’t bothering to hide and when she blushes, feeling and seeing apparently very different things, he smiles. Like the cat that got the canary. He takes her hand and she lets him lead her into the corridors. Rose is lost in her thoughts, trying to process everything.

It’s not until the Doctor opens the door to his room that she snaps out of her thoughts. She didn’t realise he’s been leading her away from her old room. Rose has been here before, but only a couple of times. And certainly never with the overt implication that he wants her to stay with him. There’s a tug on her hand and she realises she’s come to a stop in the doorway. She can’t help but offer the Doctor a shy smile as he watches her look around. There’s dark woods, deep blue and brown touches, clothing and bits and pieces scattered around on shelves and any bit of furniture that has a flat surface. This room is so very _him_ , she thinks. The small smile remains on her face as she steps up beside him.

“The bathroom is through there,” he says, gesturing to a door in the corner of the room. “There are already extra towels and you should be able to find anything you need.”

“Doctor?” she asks, his name the question she can’t quite find the words for.

For the first time since they walked onto this TARDIS, he looks a little shy, but completely serious as he says, “I would very much like it, no, love it, if you stayed here. With me.”

It’s not possible for her to stop her smile or the way she quickly presses her lips to his. She backs way, smiling and says, “Always, Doctor.”

His face goes from serious to gleeful in seconds, and Rose uses the opportunity to slip her hand from his and duck into the bathroom. She leans back against the door and catches her breath. As nervous and curious as she is, Rose can’t help the joy that’s bubbling up in her at the fact the Doctor’s invited her into his room, his _bed_. To stay, at least the night. Though the smile on his face when she said always makes her think he means longer. A lot longer.

Rose undresses, placing her clothes on the counter. As she turns on the water, enjoying the fact it doesn’t need to warm up, she starts thinking. Maybe not tonight, but soon, there’s so many things she needs to ask him. Why did Donna and the other, the younger Doctor apparently, think this one was a human-Time Lord biological metacrisis and what is _that_ anyway? If he was just going to come back for her, why did he leave in the first place? That, along with how long it was between when he first left her on that beach and when he came back for her, are the questions she most wants answers too.

There’s a knock on the bathroom door, almost making her jump, and the Doctor says, “Rose, I had the TARDIS move some of your clothes in here.”

She can’t stop the small, nervous giggle upon hearing the smug smile in his voice. She hadn’t even thought about clothes when she’d walked into the shower. But he obviously has. It does occur to her, however, that she’s still going to have to walk into his bedroom, in a towel, to collect them. Rose takes a few deep breaths; she can do this. It’s not like she’ll be naked. ‘Yet,’ some small part of her mind whispers to her.

When she finishes washing, she searches around for the towels, easily finding them hanging beside the bath. She blinks. The towels are small enough that she wonders how she’s meant to cover herself properly with them. Rose wraps her hair with one and with a bit of pulling and rearranging, manages to use another to _just_ conceal all the important bits. Though, she thinks, a slight breeze and the Doctor will be getting quite a show. For some reason, she doesn’t think he’d mind. But she’s not quite ready for that.

Taking a breath, she steps out into the Doctor’s bedroom and freezes for a moment. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed and it’s certainly not her face he’s staring at. Actually, Rose thinks he might just be calculating the length of her legs, judging by how intently his eyes trace them, from bottom of her very short towel, to her toes and up again. She can’t stop her blush, but she tries to ignore it.

“Doctor,” she asks, waiting for him to look in her eyes. Her blush deepens as she sees his eyes, dark and intent. She swallows and manages to ask, “My pyjamas?”

“Over there, the TARDIS moved what she thought you might need,” he replies, gesturing to a beautiful wooden wardrobe.

His tone, she notes, is rather smug, and when she glances at him, there’s a mischievous look in his eyes. Trying to decide what he’s up to, Rose opens the doors. Hanging on one side are the Doctor’s shirts. On the other side there’s a couple of drawers, she opens the top one, thankful to find her knickers there. She grabs a simple black pair and opens the next drawer. She shuts it again; his boxer briefs are not particularly helpful. Just as she bends over a little, she hears a soft growl and snaps up straight again. Glancing over her shoulder, she’s struck by the look on his face. She knows he noticed her in the past, but the look on his face now, she can only describe as pure lust. Her blush returns and she knows it’s spreading southwards.

Making a quick decision, she turns to his shirts, grabs the closest one and heads, fast as she can, back into the bathroom. She resists, barely, the urge to turn around and ask about his satisfied chuckle. Rose suspects that he, with help from the TARDIS, planned her pyjama dilemma.

Dressing, Rose is thankful for how tall the Doctor is, finally feeling a little more covered as she slips his pale blue shirt on and the tails tickle her thighs. Still nervous and a little confused, if she’s honest, she still finds it reassuring to be wrapped up in something that’s his.

However, it still takes her a couple minutes to work up the courage to walk out into his bedroom, knowing he’s waiting for her. She’s unsure how he’ll feel about it, her wearing something that so blatantly suggests she’s his.

Walking out into the bedroom, she stops and stares. Whatever she expected to find in the bedroom, it wasn’t this. The bed is already turned down, waiting. Much like the man resting against the bed’s headboard, in just boxer briefs. The Doctor hasn’t stopped looking at her since she entered the room. Rose did see his flash of possessiveness when she appeared and it’s still there. As much as she’s trying not to notice, she’s also aware of the effect she’s having on him physically. For a moment it’s all she can do not to hide in the bathroom.

The urge to run fades when the Doctor stops staring at her like she’s his prey and offers her a smile. He pats the bed beside him, an invitation to join him. Rose hesitates briefly; it’s not that they’ve never shared a bed before. But normally they’re both dressed, or at least in a full set of pyjamas. They’ve never shared with so little between them and never, ever _his_ bed. There’s a fluttering feeling in her stomach as his smile starts to fade into something she can’t quite call anger, but it certainly isn’t happy.

Squashing her nerves, Rose moves to the bed. Even if things feel like they’re moving too fast and conversations need to be had, she wants to be near him after so long apart. As she moves, the dark look on the Doctor’s face is gone again, like it had never happened. She crawls into the bed and lies down on her side. Biting her lip, she then offers a small smile of her own. Sliding down the bed beside her, he pulls up the sheets, covering them. He lays down facing her and she places her hand in the space between them, relieved when he understands her gesture and twines his hand with hers.

Within minutes, Rose is almost asleep. Just before she drifts off, she feels the soft kiss the Doctor drops on her lips and hears his quiet whisper, “My Rose.”

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Waking slowly, the Doctor is aware of the fact he’s wrapped around a warm presence. A familiar scent, one he could never forget, makes itself known. He takes a deep breath and nuzzles into the blonde hair in front of him. Blonde hair, that familiar scent and a body shape he knows better than his own in his arms...

 _Rose_.

His eyes open and all he can think is she’s here, back in his arms, in his life, in his bed, where she has _always_ belonged. His arms tighten around her, to pull her even closer. When the movement causes Rose to curl her back and rub against him, he suddenly understands the dull throb in his groin. Unable to resist the urge, the Doctor slides down the bed a little, groaning softly at the friction and nestling his hard cock just below her arse. As much as he wants to _take_ her, _have_ her, he wants to watch her as she wakes first.

Using every bit of his impressive self-control, he holds his hips still, for now. Instead, he takes advantage of the way his arms are wrapped around her. The Doctor gently undoes a few of the buttons of his shirt, _his shirt_ , which rests over Rose’s stomach. When he’s opened enough of them, from her navel to just below her breasts, he slips his hands inside the now gaping shirt. Smooth, he thinks, and soft, her skin is so very soft. He caresses the bare skin beneath his hands, following her dips and curves. One hand rests on the skin just above her knickers and the other gently slides up, and up, until suddenly, he’s running his fingers along the bottom curves of her breasts.

He’s about to allow himself to cup her properly when she tenses and her breathing changes. She’s waking up, the Doctor knows, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t let her go, just moves the hand at her breast down enough and lets it rest at the bottom of her sternum. Rose gently moves against him and he waits, knowing she’s working out the information her body is sending her. A small wriggle of her hips causes him to groan softly and when she gasps, he chuckles.

Rose turns to look over her shoulder at him and the sight of her sleepy eyes, small smile and messy hair, makes him hold her just a little bit tighter. There is no way he can resist the temptation she presents and, in place of words, he leans over enough to drop a small kiss on the corner of her mouth. Nuzzling her hair out of his way, he drops soft kisses along her jaw, up towards her ear, and across the curve of her neck. The Doctor almost growls when she drops her head forward, just a little, opening her neck to him. Focusing on the scent of _her_ and the smooth skin in front of him, he drops a soft kiss on her neck, just below her ear. Moving down her neck a little, he bites, and uses his teeth and lips, intent on marking her.

By the time he’s done and gently kisses the deep red mark, Rose is squirming in his arms. Each and every movement she makes causes friction along his cock, causing his hips to buck, fingers to clench, and he loudly groans, “ _Rose_.”

She freezes and the Doctor senses her nerves as she speaks, “Doctor, we should talk, first.”

Rose is aroused, he can smell it in the air, feel it in the heat radiating from her, but the  Doctor knows if she’s more interested in talking, her current arousal isn’t strong enough. Talking can wait, indefinitely if he has his way, but he can’t, not any longer.

“Later, Rose,” he replies, and with her distraction, and more importantly, arousal in mind, the Doctor begins moving his hands. The one resting high sneaks higher, settling between her breasts and his fingers stretch, teasing a nipple with barely there touches. When Rose gasps softly, he starts moving his other hand.  

His hand is still slowly moving, a couple of fingers already under the top edge of her knickers when she tries, once more, to say something. “Doctor,” she says, almost a moan, “we really…”

“ _Later_ , Rose,” he interrupts, his hand sliding the rest of the way into her knickers. The Doctor feels the moment she surrenders, her body relaxing back into his. He almost crows in triumph. Instead he chuckles in dark delight when he discovers just how wet his Rose already is. As he moves his fingers through her folds, they’re quickly damp. He unerringly finds her clit and strokes it once, smirking when her hips buck, just a little. Curling his hand down, wanting to waste no more time, he slips a finger inside her. After a few thrusts, he adds another and softly moves his thumb across her clit. Her hips start moving in time with the fingers inside her and each movement causes her to rub against his erection. He growls.

The friction on his cock is doing nothing to help his now absolute desperation to bury himself in his Rose. He quickly pulls his fingers from her, enjoying her soft whimper of loss. Creating enough room to be able to roll her onto her back, the Doctor briefly loses himself in her loving, but lustful gaze. Raising himself, he moves over her and drops his head down for a kiss.

There’s nothing chaste or gentle about this kiss, the Doctor intent on control. One hand supports him and the other nudges Rose’s chin up to give him a better angle as he pushes his tongue against her lips. She gasps and he takes full advantage of her open mouth, dominating the kiss. He moans at the taste of her. It’s everything Rose and he could stay like this forever, except there’s something he wants more. Trailing kisses across her cheeks and neck, he lets her catch her breath as he finishes unbuttoning her shirt. Flicking open the last button, he pushes the shirt open and sits up, straddling her thighs.

The Doctor stares at the sight before him, so still that Rose begins to look unsure. He’s suddenly aware of how nervous she is when she tries to close the shirt and cover herself. Grabbing her wrists, he pins them to the bed beside her head. She’s not allowed to do that.

“No, Rose. No hiding from me,” he growls softly, smirking at the flush that runs down her body at his words. “ _Never_ from me.”

He leans forward, placing a soft kiss on her lips. Shuffling down her legs, he drops soft kisses down between her breasts and releases her wrists. His hands drift slowly down her arms and he relishes in the moment he touches skin. He trails his fingers gently across her collarbone, down over her breasts and stomach, hands coming to rest on her hips. Tearing his eyes from her skin, he looks into her eyes and smiles.

Rose returns his smile, but his drops as she raises her arms. Lightning fast, he moves up her body and pins her hands to the bed again. Her eyes open wide, shock fighting with arousal as he tells her, “Don’t move, Rose.”

Rose bites her bottom lip but nods at him. The Doctor removes his hands and places them back on her hips. He hooks his fingers under the sides of her knickers and glances up at her. He’s not sure what she sees on his face, not sure if his desperation is visible, but she doesn’t hesitate to lift her hips off the bed. Quickly, he slides the knickers down her legs and stands at the end of the bed as he pulls them over her feet and drops them to the floor.

He stares, dark eyes tracing every inch of his Rose, from her toes, to her legs, the patch of curls between her thighs, her stomach, and then her breasts. His gaze lingers for a moment there, before he looks at her lips and finally into her own darkened eyes. The Doctor can’t quite believe he’s here, with her. He thinks, this, this was worth every risk he took to get her back and every risk he’ll take to keep her. She squirms a little, not moving her hands, but rubbing her thighs together and he can tell she’s almost as desperate as he is to be joined.

“Oh,” she says, mouth dropping open in shock as he pushes his boxer briefs down and off, his erection springing free. There’s no way he can stop his smirk at her reaction. Nor can he stop the soft groan as she licks her lips while unashamedly staring at his cock. Later, he thinks, later they definitely have to explore his fantasies about heads between thighs.

As tempting as it is to indulge in the desire to bury his head between her thighs now, the Doctor knows that’s not what he wants this time. He wants to be inside her. Now. Letting no more time pass, he quickly climbs back onto the bed and moves over her. When he fully covers her, there’s a feeling of satisfaction. Rose is here. Rose is beneath him, waiting for him, looking at him, loving him. He rests his weight on one arm and brushes the other hand down her face.

The Doctor kisses her, slipping his hand between them, fingers sliding through her curls and brushing her clit. He chuckles as her hips buck, but as much as he could, and later he will, happily spend hours teasing her, he doesn’t. He grasps his cock and guides it to her entrance, not quite pushing in. Rose breaks from the kiss to stare up at him. Her mouth opens, then closes again as she’s unable to find the words. He smiles.

Suddenly, he thrusts forward, entering her fully in one sure stroke. Rose’s mouth drops open, she lets out a moan and he knows, as wet as she is, he’s still larger than she expected. He feels a flash of pride at that. Then her muscles involuntarily flutter around his cock and he groans loudly as he holds himself deep inside. She’s so hot, and tight, and he can’t hold still any longer. Burying his face in her neck, he feels her hands on his shoulders, cotton brushing his back as she holds onto him. He slowly withdraws from her, enjoying her little whimper before he pushes back in.

He nibbles at the skin below her ear as he keeps a steady pace. Losing himself to the heat of Rose’s centre, each time he pulls out he feels the loss, each thrust becoming sharp and more desperate. Rose whimpers each time his cock almost leaves her and she moans, fingers digging into his shoulders with each return. She’s gasping as he speeds up, a sound he wants to hear often. She places a kiss on his neck on his next thrust and moans, “Doctor.”

Hearing that, he raises his head and curls his back because he wants, needs, to see her face. The way her eyes lock on his, see each gasp and _know_ what she looks like as he’s pushing deep inside her. But after a few thrusts, the Doctor can’t help but pause, looking at her spread beneath him. His cock is buried deep inside her, she’s warm and tight and wet around him and he’s never felt anything better. But it’s not the feeling that holds him still. It’s the golden hair, and the flushed pink skin that captures him. The gold hair and pink skin, all of it _Rose_ and all wrapped around him. And his now favourite, light blue shirt is all wrapped around her. She surrounds him, but his shirt, _his_ armour, is surrounding her, protecting her, marking her as his.

Another sign, another way to say, ‘this is Rose Tyler, and she is the Doctor’s.’

This time, when Rose’s muscles clench around his cock, there’s nothing involuntary about it and he groans loudly. He decides the cheeky smile on her face means she’s thinking too clearly and he growls, pleased when her eyes widen. The Doctor slides his cock almost completely out, enjoying her small whimper, before he thrusts back into her, hard. Wasting no more time, he sets up a new rhythm, hard and fast, each drive of his hips pushing him into Rose as far as possible. She clings to him, short nails digging into his shoulders as she gasps and moans.

The pace he’s setting means he won’t last long, but he wants Rose to come first. The Doctor _needs_ to feel her breaking around him so he can see her reach her peak, see the look on her face and hear how she sounds. So he can be there when she comes back together. He keeps thrusting, slowing down, but not easing up as he slides his hand down to where they’re joined. He moves his finger across her clit and when Rose keens he knows he has the speed just right. His hips move faster and he watches her face in awe as her inner muscles clench around him, her hips bucking as she comes. Burying his face in her neck, riding out the last of her orgasm, it’s only a few hard thrusts later that he comes, spilling himself inside her.

He collapses onto her, burying his face in her neck as he tries to pull his own thoughts back together. All the Doctor can think is how much time he wasted, how many times and places and ways he could have had her if he hadn’t been such an idiot. But now, now she’s his, in almost every way. His friend, his lover, his forever. _His_.

Rose wiggles underneath him and he knows he should move off her, but he’s not quite ready to leave her warmth. Instead, the Doctor rolls them over, staying inside her, his cock barely softening. One arm stays wrapped around her, underneath the shirt she still has on, holding her to him. The other he uses to brush her sweat damp hair back from her face. Looking up, she rests her chin on his chest and smiles. He smiles back at her as she says, “My Doctor.”

She wriggles around, almost stretching. There’s a sense of contentment about her and the thought that he was the one who caused it makes his cock twitch, already growing hard again. When she stops moving and stares at him, the Doctor smugly grins at her. Rose sits up, straddling him, looking down to where they’re still joined and back to his face.

“Your Doctor. My Rose,” he says, grabbing her thighs and bucking his hips, ready to have her once again

 


	3. Chapter 3

Rose stands in the shower, finding the hot water relaxing as she enjoys the time alone. It’s not that she doesn’t want the Doctor around. She loves having him around, again. But time alone has become a rare occurrence in the week since Bad Wolf Bay. It’s something she misses, but more often than not, anytime she’s alone he finds her. In the shower she’s generally found within minutes by a rather amorous Doctor. She grins. It’s not like she really minds _those_ intrusions.

Her grin falls. The trouble is it’s not just in the shower. Anywhere she is, if she’s alone for too long, the Doctor will appear. Rose is pretty sure the TARDIS is helping him find her. This behaviour isn’t new; it happened a few times before she fell. After the Wire and Krop Tor he seemed almost afraid to leave her alone for long periods of time, unsure that she was actually safe. But that only lasted a couple of days. Now, it’s been a week and she’s quite sure she hasn’t been alone for more than fifteen minutes in that time.

The Doctor’s apparent need to have her near isn’t restricted to just the TARDIS. Every trip they go on now, he barely lets go of her hand. Not that he’s had much need too. Rose is quite sure he’s avoiding trouble, favouring planets and times that are peaceful, safe. No matter how safe though, he keeps a firm grip on her hand or an arm around her waist, some kind of physical connection between.

Washing her hair, Rose can’t help but think of the only trip where she had managed to wander off. She had only been back a three days at that stage and it was just their second trip. The planet had been nice enough, a quiet one. The Doctor had taken her there to show her the markets, best in the galaxy (whichever galaxy it was) he’d told her with a big grin. But it isn’t the place she remembers, it’s what had happened there. She never knew what he’d been looking at, but he’d needed both hands to pick it up and so had let her hand go. Then she’d done what she always had before, she’d wandered off to look around.

A couple of minutes later she had been browsing a stall holding local jewellery and chatting with the slightly blue and feathered, young man who ran it. Rose had smiled and laughed at the jokes he made while harmlessly flirting with her. When the stall holder’s voice had trailed off, she’d looked at him and seen fear in his eyes. She’d turned around, assuming the worst and about to go find the Doctor only to find herself face to face with the Time Lord. If there had been room, she would have stepped back. There had been so much anger radiating from him. His jaw clenched; he’d taken her hand in a firm grip and led her back to the TARDIS without saying a word until they were inside. Even then, the only word she’d heard for a while was, “Mine.”

Rose giggles softly to herself. Slight nerves over the Doctor’s anger aside, she’d tested his reaction to her flirting with others again after that. He had a similar response, though the second time, he hadn’t waited for them to get back to the TARDIS before the first round.

The thing is, Rose admits to herself, the possessiveness isn’t new. But it’s more intense than it used to be. And it isn’t the only thing causing her concern. There’s the fact she’s pretty sure the Doctor, and possibly the TARDIS, are conspiring to keep her old room from her. The one time she had asked directly about it, an almost angry Doctor had quietly and calmly asked if she wanted to move back into it. She really didn’t and was relieved when his anger faded at her assurance of that. She didn’t quite believe his grin as he told her to ask the TARDIS to move anything she wanted into his, their, room. His explanation that all the old bedrooms were currently being fumigated for some kind of bug was even less believable. But, worried about how he’d take it, she had decided not to push for answers, yet.

Pushing for answers is something Rose knows she should be doing. Well, Rose muses with a sigh, honest answers. It’s not that the Doctor won’t answer her questions. It’s just, she knows he’s not necessarily giving true answers and she’s certain most of them are rather incomplete. She frowns, she shouldn’t be letting him get away with it and she knows that. However, her experience with him tells her pushing for answers rarely works. Though, something more is going on, so slowly and carefully is a better idea, at least until she knows what’s going on with him. His behaviour at the moment is even more unpredictable.

Rose feels a shiver run down her spine as she remembers the Doctor’s face when she’d asked about Donna. She had been curious about why the woman, who seemed so intent on travelling with him, wasn’t still. As soon as the question had left her mouth, she knew something was wrong. He had closed down, his face totally blank. To her, the blankness was more disturbing than his anger or sadness. The only thing he’d said, making it clear the topic wasn’t up for discussion, was, ‘Donna is home, with her family’.

She might not be a match for the Doctor, but she is not stupid. Rose glares at nothing. It’s not like she hasn’t realised that Donna’s leaving obviously has something to do with the supposed biological metacrisis. But still he refuses to explain what a human - Time Lord biological metacrisis is and why he claimed to be one. Much like he had when she asked about Donna, he gives short answers that don’t ring true. His explanation for the metacrisis was simply that ‘the Daleks wouldn’t be unable to predict a second Doctor’ and the destruction of the Daleks was ‘what needed to be done’.

With a quiet sigh, Rose admits to herself, anytime she asks a question he doesn’t want to answer, he either closes down or, more often, he distracts her. Not that she minds the Doctor’s distraction techniques. She quite enjoys some, especially the ones that result in them against the most convenient surface, naked, words replaced with the sounds of skin against skin, uncontrolled groans and cries for more.

Though, Rose thinks she would like to know, sooner rather than later, exactly why, every time she suggests dropping by Earth to visit their friends, he promptly comes up with another place he has to show her, _right then_.

She frowns, wondering if the desire to avoid Earth relates to the Bad Wolf-esque messages that seem to follow them everywhere they go. People talking of a song ending and someone knocking four times, though, she’s noticed it’s not clear who those messages, warnings, are actually for, her or the Doctor. There have even been appearances of Bad Wolf. It’s not like she’s unaware of the Doctor’s reaction every time four knocks are mentioned or someone says a song is ending. And she’ll never forget his face each time he sees or hears Bad Wolf.

Rose knows she should ask the Doctor about these messages following them. But, she gives with a wry smile, there are only two things she might expect from questioning him and neither are answers. It’s simply more blank looks or, more likely, a Doctor-style distraction.

“Well, there’s my Rose,” the Doctor says, causing her to jump. She turns towards the door to the bathroom, where he’s standing, taking off his tie. Rose smiles at the example of a Doctor-style distraction.

“Yep, here I am,” she responds. He removes his shirt and with an innocent look she asks, “Do you need another shower, Doctor?”

As he pushes his trousers and pant downs together, she grins and he replies with a smirk, “I will by the time I’m done with you.”

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

“Just fucking brilliant,” the Doctor angrily mutters, stalking through the city of Tanarus.

His recent string of luck with the TARDIS landing when, and where, he wants appears to have passed. He was where he intended, but certainly not when. The Doctor growls, if he’d known when he had landed before they’d left the TARDIS, they never would have left it. He’d aimed to land on Myral, a planet famed for its beautiful cities and peaceful, relaxed nature. At least by the year 18,520, when he’d meant to land. His plan had been to show Rose the beautiful city of Tanarus, spend a few days here, enjoying the atmosphere and the local celebrations. Hopefully distract her enough that she didn’t suggest a trip to Earth for a while.

Instead he’d landed in 15,820. Right in the middle of the Tanarun Uprising.

The Doctor feels panic creeping in. He knows the revolution threw things into chaos for years, but in the end those who started the Uprising would destroy the corruption, not just in this city, but across the planet. The people with the money, in government, those who make the rules to suit themselves, will be stopped by those they have long trodden on. It will lead to peace and prosperity for Tanarus which lasts for millennia. But not without a huge cost of lives, many of whom had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And now, in the middle of this, his Rose is missing.

He let go of her hand for two minutes, that’s all. The Doctor clenches his jaw. Some days, he thinks, she shouldn’t be let out of the TARDIS at all. It’s not that he doesn’t think Rose can look after herself, he knows she can. But sometimes there’s no chance. There are always scavengers, standing in the wings, prepared to take advantage of the destruction and confusion that’s inevitable in a conflict like this.

The Doctor has been carefully cultivating an _awareness_ of Rose, much like he once had with her, in the days she’s been back. It is part of the reason he’s been keeping her so close all the time. Sadly, he thinks, it’s not a bond, though one day, he will have that with her, but it’s still enough to tell him she’s alive. Alive and, for now at least, still in the city. It’s not specific enough to track her with, but it’s enough to give him an idea of what part of Tanarus she’s in.

He’s thankful that the Myralian, while humanoid, have skin and hair in various dark colours, meaning Rose will stand out. The Doctor questions the locals, looking for anyone who might have seen where she went. Or who took her. It feels to him like hours pass as he questions everyone he sees, but he knows it’s only minutes. After questioning almost a dozen locals, he concludes nearly all of them are hiding something.

They know where she is, the Doctor’s quite sure of it. Or they suspect at least. When the next Myralian he questions, a young man, gulps loudly as he says he never saw Rose, the Doctor narrows his eyes and glares.

Either you tell me everything you know about where Rose is, _now_ ,” the Doctor growls, taking the man by the shoulders. “Or I will go looking myself.”

The young Myralian opens and closes his mouth a few times, but appears unable to speak. The Doctor’s scaring the man, but doesn’t care. After a few moments when it becomes apparent that answers are not going to be forthcoming, he moves his fingers to the man’s temples and dives into his mind.

Pushing away all the excess thoughts and rubbish he doesn’t need to see, the Doctor quickly finds the very recent memories and is presented with exactly what he needs. And fears. A Myralian man leads four guards, each in government uniform, through a nearby street. The guards have three prisoners, two looking resigned, letting themselves be held by a guard each, a young man and woman, both with unique colouring. Between the last two guards is Rose. She appears to be unconscious and he can’t help the faint surge of pride that she obviously didn’t go willingly. But the pride swiftly turns to anger as he watches her being dragged off and the Myralian in charge licking his lips as he watches on.

Withdrawing from the young man’s mind, the Doctor starts putting what he knows about the Tanarus Uprising together with the memories he just saw. He lets out a growl time seems to freezes as he connects the information and realises exactly who took Rose, and where.

Gadel. A Tanarun government official, in name, he’s the second most powerful man in the city. In reality, he controls almost everything. Sitting above the law, he takes exactly what he wants; money, resources, and, worst of all, people. The man, and the Doctor snarls at the term, is known for ‘collecting’ unique or exotic people, Myralians with uncommon colouring and the occasional alien. Someone like Rose would be very exciting for Gadel. The Doctor would prefer she was taken by slave traders than the _thing_ that has her. In this part of the universe, a pure human would be worth a fortune so they would keep her healthy and unharmed. But Gadel, and people like him, are the reason for the Uprising. What truly sets off the fighting is the fact that few of the people taken are ever seen again and those that are…

There will be nothing, the Doctor knows, nothing in the universe that can save the man if he has harmed Rose at _all_.

He stalks off, asking a different question of the locals, simply ‘where could he find Aleta?’ Aleta, a woman who lost her husband to Gadel, has a huge role to play in the Uprising. She is the one who leads them, the one who will destroy the leaders of the government and, if he’s very lucky, she will already have the information he needs.

It only takes a couple of locals to learn of Aleta’s location, a nearby building, turned into quarters and offices for those leading the fight. The Doctor runs inside, ignoring the guards at the door and yells at the nearest person to tell him where she is. They are too stunned to do anything but point. He nods and moves, reaching the office in seconds. He ignores the people standing outside it and slams the door open.

“You have precisely two minutes to tell me everything about Gadel and where he’s holed up or I will hold _you_ responsible for what happens next,” says the Doctor, struggling to maintain control.

“Who the hell are you?” Aleta asks, standing behind her desk. “And why should I tell you anything?”

He walks over to the desk, slams his hands down and leans in close. “I’m the Doctor. And if you waste my time right now, while Gadel has Rose, you will last only long enough to regret it.”

Atela leans back and the Doctor can tell she is assessing the truth of his words. He knows he’s won as she nods and says, “He’s holed up with a few other officials in Council House.”

The Doctor manages a short thanks and turns to leave when Aleta speaks again. “Doctor, you’ve only got about thirty minutes.”

“Why?” he asks.

“Council house is wired up for destruction at midday. And I will not stop it, even for you. With nearly all the government bastards in the building now, this is the best chance we have for ending this quickly,” Aleta explains.

He acknowledges her with a nod and, in any other time or place he’d respect her position. But right now, time is counting down and the Doctor leaves her office at a run.

It doesn’t take him long to reach Council House.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Rose tries to squirm away from the man, Gadel, holding her on his lap. However, while she’s aware, she can’t actually move. She doesn’t know exactly what they injected her with, but hopefully it wears off soon. There’s no way she can stop the involuntary shudder as the man whispers in her ears all the things he will do with her, his lovely new toy. She tells herself the Doctor will be here soon and, thinking of him, she blocks out the voice of the bastard holding her.

When there’s a loud thud out in the hall, Rose pulls herself from thoughts of the Doctor just as the Time Lord kicks the door open and strides into the room. Though he manages to maintain a calm expression, she can see his rage. Right now, she would describe his movement as stalking and the man who holds her is his prey. If he wasn’t such a disgusting _thing,_ she might almost feel sorry for Gadel.

“Who the fuck are you?” Gadel yells when the Doctor stops just a few feet in front of him.

When he looks at her, Rose tries to give the Doctor some sign that she’s okay. She sees the almost imperceptible and momentary lightening of his eyes before he looks straight at Gadel and says, “I’m the Doctor. And the woman you’re holding is Rose. And Rose is _mine_.”

Gadel runs his hands down her arms and Rose feels like she needs a shower. The Myralian sneers. “She’s mine now. And we’re going to have so much fun together.”

Rose knows the Doctor’s calm is just a mask as he asks, “Tell me Gadel, do you know what a Time Lord is, and what they are truly capable of?”

“A Time Lord? Time Lords do nothing and they did _nothing_. They stood at the edge of the universe and _observed_ ,” Gadel laughs. “It’s why they were all wiped out.”

The Doctor raises an eyebrow. “No,” he says, voice rising as he continues, “The Time Lords weren’t wiped out. There’s one left. Me. And I’m left because _I_ pushed the button. I ended the War. I _won_ the War.”

Rose looks closely at him when he says he won. He’s never once declared himself the victor. Before she fell, he once told her he was the one who lost, more than the Time Lords, or the Daleks. But then Gadel tightens his grip on her and she can feel the sweat on his face, hear the way he gulps while trying to maintain his disdain. There’s a smirk from the Doctor as he lets the bastard absorb that information.

“So, Gadel, I ask you again, what do you think a Time Lord is actually capable of?” he asks and Rose can see the Doctor’s true rage now, despite his even tone. “Because I’m going to tell you; there’s simply making sure someone, you, for example, never even exists. Though, maybe you’d prefer to be stranded on a planet where the only things to keep you company are your nightmares. Or I could simply push you into the Void.”

The Doctor grins darkly and, despite her worry, Rose is glad when she feels the shiver go through Gadel. When the Myralian speaks, she knows he’s trying to convince himself as he stutters, “You, you, wo- wouldn’t.”

“I would and I _will_. Unless you let go of Rose, _right now_!” the Doctor shouts and even Rose flinches a little.

Her eyes open a little wider, she actually flinched. Hoping that means what she wants it too, Rose tries moving her fingers. She could almost cheer when she makes them wiggle softly. Whatever the guards used on her seems to be wearing off. Looking up, she waits until the Doctor turns his attention to her again. When he does, she looks down at her fingers quickly, back to him and down at her hands again. As soon as he focuses on her fingers, she wiggles them, more this time, letting him know she’s regaining her movement.

Rose hopes the Doctor doesn’t see her wince as she starts carefully stretching her hands. Each movement of her right hand pulls at the shallow, but long, cut running up the inside of her wrist. When Gadel’s guards had taken her, she’d tried to stop them and during the fight, had ended up with the wound. Seconds later they’d injected her with whatever stopped her moving. She’s thankful the cut didn’t bleed much, though she worries a little about how the Doctor will react when he sees it.

When Gadel clenches his fingers on her waist, Rose grimaces and, this time, the Doctor is aware she’s being hurt. He growls loudly but before he can speak, Gadel does.

“If I let her go, what will stop you killing me right now?” asks the Myralian.

“Nothing,” the Doctor says and Rose’s eyes widen at that casual dismissal. “But, if you let her go there is a chance you’ll live to see tomorrow. On the other hand, if you don’t, I promise you won’t live to see midday.”

Aware of the feeling returning to her legs, Rose wriggles around, trying to dislodge the fingers now digging into her ribs. She hears Gadel swallow and manages to speak for herself. “I suggest you let me go, very, _very_ soon. ‘Cause if you don’t, he won’t need to do anything to you. I will.”

Rose takes a deep breath as more of her muscles respond and, as hard as she can, brings her elbow back to connect with Gadel’s chest. He gasps, loosens his grip on her ribs, and she resists the urge to do it again, at least while she’s still sitting on his lap.

Sounding winded, Gadel pushes her forwards as he says, “Okay, okay, you’re free to go. Please, don’t kill me. I was only doing what I was told.”

The Doctor raises an eyebrow at the Myralian, while Rose snorts. Pushing herself up, she wobbles a bit as she stands, but before she falls, the Doctor’s there, offering her support. He gives her a tight smile and she tries to offers him one, but grimaces instead. She turns back to the man in the chair, opens her mouth then thinks better of it. Instead she takes a slightly wobbly step over to Gadel and, rather than the slap her mum favours, she creates a fist and punches the alien. There’s a feeling of satisfaction when she hears a crack.

Apart from Gadel’s whimpering as he clenches his broken nose there is silence in the room. The Doctor takes Rose’s left hand and she lets herself be led from the building.

When they stand outside, she watches as he glances briefly to the sky, behind them and then starts walking again. Though she should be thankful that the Doctor is walking away, there’s concern instead. Yes, he offered the man the chance to do the right thing, but as he leads her away from the building, she can’t help but wonder if there’s something she’s missing.

The Doctor pulls her to a stop, turns back around to face the building, and nudges Rose around as well. She frowns slightly, wondering why he’s stopped back here. Opening her mouth to ask why they’ve stopped, she hesitates when he places a finger on his lips. Gesturing back to the building, he gives her a sly smile.

Seconds later, Rose steps back in shock, startled by the noise and heat that washes over her as Council House explodes. As the dust and smoke settles all she can see is the rubble of what was once the seat of power in Tanarus. Her mouth opens and closes while she tries to work out what just happened, what to say. She understands what she was missing now; the Doctor didn’t need to do anything to Gadel. He only had to say nothing. But, it’s not like him, to let who knows how many people die to stop one.

When she turns to look at him, Rose is surprised at the small unconcerned smile on his face. There’s no guilt, no worry, no suggestion that the Doctor feels any concern about what just happened. When he turns to face her, however, his jaw tightens and a new fierceness enters his gaze, causing her stomach to flutter.

Reflex causes Rose’s hand to tighten on the Doctor’s and in silence she lets him lead her back to the TARDIS.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extremely possessive and rather unbalanced Doctor. Slight dubcon warning for this chapter.

Refusing to let go of her hand, despite her small attempts to pull free, the Doctor sends the TARDIS into the vortex one handed. Rose quietly follows him around the console and tries to find the words to ask the questions she needs answers to. So focused on her thoughts, she doesn’t realise he isn’t moving until she walks into him. She looks into his eyes, trying to read his expression, but try as she might, it’s not familiar. Her mouth opens, but no sound escapes as her lips are claimed by his.

There’s nothing gentle or calm about the kiss. It’s desperate and fierce and Rose can’t compete for control. She surrenders to the Doctor, lets him take what he needs. There’s no way that in his current state he would let her take charge, she knows. There’s a whimper from her when his teeth sink into her bottom lip, a little harder than she expects. The noise seems to spur him on. He growls and suddenly her back is against the console with him pressing against her, his desire obvious.

Rose breaks from the kiss, breathing quickly. Before she can suggest moving to the bedroom, she finds herself turned around and bent over the edge of the console, the Doctor breathing heavily behind her. She tries to speak, but she can’t, not with him resting over her back, marking her neck and pushing her jeans down. Instead, there’s a low moan and she tries not to let her knees buckle. She feels him move back, just enough to undo his trousers and shove them down his legs enough to free himself.

“Doctor,” she gasps as his knees nudge her legs apart and his fingers are slipping between them, swiping over her entrance, checking. He doesn’t speak, just groans and Rose knows he’s discovered how wet she already is, despite her nerves. He pulls his fingers back, erection pressing against her as his hips buck slightly. There’s damp fingers holding one hip, his cock is at her entrance and with one rough push he’s inside her, burying himself to hilt.

The Doctor pauses, only for a second, then pulls back and Rose can’t stop the small scream at his sharp return, his thrust forceful, desperate. As if he’s trying to make their physical connection permanent. His next thrust causes her to let out a low groan. Each withdrawal and return makes her whimper and moan. Then he’s pushing on her back, bending her forwards further and she lets him, trying to find a way for her arms to be comfortable. He bucks forward, his hips pushing hers firmly into the console as he holds her still for a moment.

She can hear him breathing deeply, but before Rose can question why he stopped moving, his hands are on her shoulders. His fingers curl around the outside of her arms, his thumbs lightly sliding down the inside as he runs them down towards her hands. He leans over her back, moving her hands over her head.

He stops abruptly when she hisses, his thumb grazing over the shallow, but still slowly bleeding, cut on her inner wrist. Rose isn’t sure what to make of the abrupt stillness. She can feel more tension running through his already tense body. The Doctor pulls out of her and she can’t stop the small whimper at the empty and cold feeling he leaves behind. He steps back and swiftly turns her around. If there was room, she would move away. As it is, she leans back a bit, trying to distance herself from his anger. This time, it’s directed at her. He pushes her jacket off, rips open her top and throws it to the floor. He grabs her hand and flips it over so he can see her wrist.

Rose swallows loudly at the anger in the Doctor’s eyes. She winces a little as he runs his finger along the cut, running almost the length of her forearm. Looking at her, but not saying a word, she can see the disappointment mingling with rage and desperation in his eyes. She opens her mouth to offer an explanation, an apology for not telling him sooner but he stops her.

“No,” he says and Rose blinks as he offers nothing else.

About to speak again, she stops when his eyes narrow. Looking down, because she can’t think with him looking at her like that, she sees he’s still hard, and she struggles to control a hysterical giggle. The Doctor’s staring at her like he’s considering the idea of locking her in the TARDIS always and she’s noticing he’s still got an erection.

He looks at her and Rose can tell he’s slightly confused, but when she tries to move away to grab something to cover herself, he tightly grips her hand and she freezes. Deciding, for now, that it will be easier to let him keep control she stops moving. He pulls on her hand, making no move to cover himself either and leading her into the TARDIS. She follows him quietly and tries not to panic over his continued silence.

The tense silence between them continues when they reach the med bay. Rose can’t help but feel self-conscious as she sits on the counter wearing just a bra and all too aware that the Doctor is still naked from the waist down. And still obviously aroused, which isn’t helping her calm down. She watches him closely as he uses the dermal regenerator to heal her cut, his focus and displeasure evident. There’s a feeling of slight relief when he’s done and she can tell his anger has been replaced by desperation.

Before Rose can stand, the Doctor is in front of her, nudging her legs apart and stepping into the space between them. He captures her lips and pushes his tongue into her mouth, taking control once more. She can’t contain the small whimper when he slips his hand between them and thrusts two fingers into her, just once before he pulls them out, apparently satisfied with the moisture still present.

Guiding his cock to her entrance he pushes inside, fast and hard, and she moans. Ready as she is, the sudden fullness is a shock. To relieve the slight discomfort of the angle, Rose leans back on her elbows. She still worries a little about his complete silence. With the exception of their first time and when he’s extremely jealous, the Doctor always talks when they’re having sex.

“Doctor,” Rose begins, wanting to ask if he’s okay, if she can help. Instead she falls silent when she realises his anger, desperation, _need_ , has returned in full. His eyes hold hers and she can’t look away. Hands on her hips, he sets up a fast and hard rhythm with his hips. His short, powerful thrusts pushing her close to edge quickly. Her eyes slide shut, but he growls and stops moving until she opens them again. His lips curl in a satisfied smirk and she feels his hand move between them, to where they’re joined. She keens as his hips speed up and he swipes her clit. A few thrusts later, her eyes slam shut and she’s coming, a small scream escaping her. Overwhelmed by sensation, she’s barely aware of the Doctor thrusting twice more before he groans and spills himself into her.

Rose sighs quietly as the Doctor withdraws. She can tell he’s slightly calmer now, as if the physical connection has helped. Maybe it has a little, she thinks, but he’s still partially erect and the continued tension in the way he holds himself is obvious and maybe, maybe it wasn’t enough. Not yet.

Offering her no chance to clean herself, nor doing so himself, the Doctor grabs her hips and stands her up. Heading to their bedroom, he walks quickly, his tension still obvious and Rose is almost falls trying to keep up with him. Though she tries to ignore it, the fast movement makes her all too aware of the sticky mess, her own dampness mixed with his, between her thighs. She only hopes he’s leading her to the shower, but she doesn’t think that’s what he intends.

Her thought proves true when they enter their room and he moves her straight to the bed. Gently, but insistently, the Doctor pushes her onto the bed, until she’s lying down, head resting on the pillows. Rose watches quietly as he pushes her thighs apart and lies between them. He looks away from her eyes, trailing his gaze down her body, stopping at her folds and staring. She can’t stop herself from trying to close her legs, the attention making her nervous, especially as she can feel his earlier seed still leaking from her. But as her muscles twitch, he growls, eyes flicking back to hers and his grip on her thighs tightens, holding her open.

Rose feels slightly uncomfortable with the way the Doctor focuses on her, but the discomfort begins to fade when he ducks his head down to sweep his tongue over her clit. Her hips buck a little as his tongue slides over the bundle of nerves again, but his grip on her thighs is secure and she lets out a low moan. She wants to do something, say something, but he looks up at her and she still can’t. His mouth buried between her thighs, his eyes meeting hers and holding them. It’s like he can see right through her. She settles for grabbing the sheets and holding on.

When his tongue finally moves down, teasing her entrance, she squirms, still aware of the liquid inside and she can feel the Doctor’s low chuckle, see it in his eyes. Rose struggles to pull her thoughts together, his continued assault with tongue and teeth causing her to lose herself, to forget everything. But she does manage to think, when his tongue dips inside her heat, and it’s swirling, moving, going deep, that he’s chasing not his, or hers, but every bit of _their_ essence. The way he keeps groaning at the taste, makes her sure she’s right, that he needs to know, that he’s marked her, claimed her, to her very core.

For what could be minutes or hours, her sense of time lost, all Rose can feel is the attention the Doctor lavishes on her. His tongue pushes deep, occasionally flicking up and over her clit before diving back to her entrance to chase more of _them_. She whimpers as he stops, her building climax receding. He licks his lips, looks at her with smug satisfaction and possession, her whimper turning to a loud moan as he thrusts two fingers inside her, twisting them just right to swipe that little spot inside. Muscles clenching and her orgasm quickly building again, she screams when he sucks at her clit, the point of his tongue teasing it. Pleasure fast overtaking her, with each suck, nibble, and thrust, every inch of her tightens and suddenly, his rapid onslaught pushes her over the edge. She screams as she comes, losing herself for a time.

As the aftershocks begin to ease and she comes back to herself, Rose is vaguely aware of the Doctor moving up the bed. He gently pushes her onto her side then lies down, his chest pressing against her back. One arm slides beneath her head and the other wraps around her, his hand resting on her heart. Reality takes a few moments to reassert itself but when it does, she realises that she can feel his erection pushing at her as he slowly grinds his hips against her arse.

Rose sighs when the hand on her chest stops resting, starts caressing. Soft, tender strokes across her breasts, light teasing touches of her nipples and she can feel herself growing wet again. She thinks the Doctor can sense it, the movements of his hips becoming more insistent, his hand trailing down past her navel, fingers slipping through her curls and over her clit. Her hips shift and he chuckles, his warm breath on her neck sending a shiver down her spine.

The Doctor seems to take the rising goose bumps as a sign and raises her leg, opening her up. Rose can hear him breathing in deeply and she’s sure he can smell her arousal. Seconds later, she realises she doesn’t care if he can as he slips a finger inside. He removes it, takes hold of her hip, easily lines himself up and pushes slowly in, letting her feel every inch of his cock as he goes deep. There’s a loud moan when he’s buried fully inside her, she’s not sure if it’s his, hers, or both.

There’s soft kisses dropped on her neck and shoulders as he steadily pulls out and pushes in, pulls out and pushes in. He feels larger in this position and his slow pace is driving her mad. Rose tries pushing her hips back when he next pulls out, to make him move faster. The Doctor growls, fingers digging into her hip and he stops, barely inside her and waits. This is still about him being in control so she slides a hand down to his, squeezing it gently, giving a sign she’ll let him set the pace.

After a few more slow thrusts, the Doctor nudges her forwards, onto her stomach and moves over her. He slips out and Rose widens her legs a bit, to encourage him back, but he stops her. She hears him shuffle backwards a little before his hands are on her hips, pulling her up onto her knees and hands.

With one hard, quick thrust, he’s burying himself to the hilt inside her again, his hips flush against her arse. When the Doctor pulls out and slams back in, Rose knows there will be no slow build up or steady rhythm. When one hand runs around her side to where they’re joined, moving quickly over her clit, she realises this is about both of them coming, soon. And when he leans over her and bites down on her shoulder she accepts this is really about him claiming her, marking her.

Hips pumping, the Doctor’s thrusts are short and sharp, reaching deep inside her. Rose pushes back, encouraging him. Never stopping, he moves his teeth, latching down where shoulder meets neck to create another mark. She stops moving and, as if to distract her from the slight pain, he adjusts slightly and his next thrusts hit that spot deep inside that sends waves of pleasure through her body. Between the new angle of his movements inside her and his continuing assault on her clit, she’s almost there.

The Doctor lets go of her neck and growls, “Rose, come.”

Like her body has been waiting for the word, on his next thrust, she does. Her muscles tighten, grasp at his still hard and thrusting cock. Her arms shake and collapse under her as she feels overcome by the strength of her orgasm. She’s only peripherally aware of the Doctor moving his torso upright. She keens as he gives one, two, three more hard thrusts into her still clenching, sensitive inner walls and finally comes. He groans out her name, hips pushing hard against her as he spills himself deep inside and Rose sighs at the feeling.

His final release seems to have sapped the Doctor of his strength and he collapses forwards, pushing her to the bed, his weight resting on her back. Rose feels slightly smothered, but it doesn’t last long as he wraps his arms around her and rolls onto his side, taking her with him. He makes no move to withdraw, but she feels his cock slowly, _finally_ , softening inside her.

Since he doesn’t seem inclined to leave her, or move at all, Rose assumes they’ll clean up the mess later and lets her exhaustion take over. One of his arms lies beneath her, hand resting back on her heart. His other holds her wrist, thumb tracing the now faint red mark. He’s still inside her, not yet fully soft. She admits, worried by his behaviour as she has been, she feels safe with him wrapped around her like this. But tomorrow, she decides, tomorrow she’ll get some answers; she’s given him more than long enough. That thought in mind, she falls asleep to the Doctor whispering, “Sleep Rose, I’ll be here when you wake. I’ll always be here…”

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

The Doctor watches Rose, quietly sleeping in his arms. He’s aware, as a Time Lord is always aware, of the seconds and minutes passing by as he holds her. Despite everything that happened that day, she’s safe, mostly unharmed and with him, still his.

He frowns; the _mostly_ unharmed bothers him. The Doctor looks at her wrist, the one he’s been holding since exhaustion claimed her. There’s still a mark, long and red, but almost healed, the skin knitted together by the dermal regenerator. But still, he’s well aware of where the cut was and, had it been deeper… He doesn’t want to think about what that could have meant for Rose.

The Doctor tries to ignore the small voice that points out he’s also worried about the messages. The ones talking of an ending song and someone knocking four times. Even Bad Wolf has been seen again. He squashes the voice, not wanting to think what they could mean for him or, more importantly, for Rose.

With everything that’s happened to her, the Doctor knows she’s not as fragile as she once was, but his Rose is still so very, very human. And while he loves that about her, he doesn’t want to face what that truly means. Well, he thinks, he won’t. He’s spent the past week caught up in the joy of having her back and just _having_ her. He’s been living in the moment and now it’s time to look to the future. And a future without her is not one he will even consider. Because, if he believes in only one thing with absolute certainty, it’s that the Doctor needs Rose Tyler, forever.

In Rose’s old room, the Doctor knows his hand still holds the regeneration energy. Maybe he shouldn’t have hidden it there; she knows he’s been keeping her away from her old room. She is clever, he thinks with a smile, but he couldn’t risk anyone, her, finding that hand before he needed it. The energy it contains may hold the solution to his biggest problem. There are a few tests he needs to run first, to check and double check his theory. He will not risk Rose, at all. But if he’s right and he generally is, he smirks, everything will be sorted before she sets foot outside the TARDIS again.

Slipping free of her warmth and unwrapping his arms from around Rose, the Doctor lets out a small sigh, already missing the warmth and connection. He allows enough space between them to move Rose onto her back. For a moment, he can do nothing else but look at her, small smile on her peaceful face. She’s beautiful, and worth every risk he took to get her back.

Fingers resting on her temples, the Doctor carefully slips into the edges of her mind. He groans at the feeling, one he has missed and wanted to share for so long with the woman in his bed. It takes everything he is to fight the urge to drive himself deep into her thoughts and memories, to lose himself in her and create a permanent bond. He tries to remind himself that one day, one day they will have that true connection. Pulling back and pausing for a moment to regain control, he seeks the place that controls her sleep and carefully tweaks it. Her mind and body easily accepting the impulse to sleep longer and deeper.

By the time he’s pulled some pants on, the Doctor knows exactly what he needs from the med bay. The TARDIS seems to be supporting him, as he finds the med bay next to his room and he smiles, stroking the wall softly in thanks.

A short while later, he has the sample he needs from Rose and finishes setting up the first tests on her DNA. The Doctor sighs. Patience has never been his strong suit and now he’s going to be waiting two hours for these tests to finish. Doing one last thorough check on the equipment, he nods in satisfaction and returns to their bedroom. He sits down beside her on the bed and watches her sleep. He finds the expressions on her face fascinating and if he could, he would be content to watch her until she wakes.

When the two hours are almost up, the Doctor finally stands again, sending a request to the TARDIS to bring Rose’s old bedroom close. He smiles when his ship hums, a sign that she’s done as he asked. Stepping into the corridor, he sees the door to Rose’s old room awaiting him and again, pats the wall in thanks.

Wasting no time, he slips into her old room, a little startled by how bright, but empty, it is. The Doctor stares around for a moment. Until then, he hadn’t truly realised how many of her possessions had been moved. So caught up in the joy of having Rose in his bed, the fact she’s been settling into his room so completely has passed him by. He grins, happy that she’s making herself so at home in their room. He stands, just enjoying the idea for a moment.

With a shake, the Doctor clears his head. Rose is still at risk and he can’t let anything distract him yet. The suggestion to sleep should have her doing so for at least twelve hours, but there’s no need to waste precious time. He quickly scans the jar containing his hand, sonic showing the regeneration energy is still there, as strong as ever, and his lips quirk in a small smile.

He returns to the med bay just as the DNA test finishes. The Doctor scans the printed information carefully and smiles broadly at the results. His suspicions have proven correct: Rose is still human. Mostly. The changes wouldn’t be seen in a DNA test from her own time or planet, even in Pete’s World, which explains why no one would have seen the oddities before. However, he knows the scanners on the TARDIS can detect even the smallest differences and those are what matter now.

The Doctor can’t stop the hopeful smile growing on his face. The changes in Rose’s DNA, more than likely from her time as Bad Wolf, have made it more resilient, but also much more adaptable. And more like an early Time Lord than he had dared to hope. He smirks towards the ceiling, suspecting his magnificent TARDIS played her own part.

That new adaptability, when combined with a Time Lord’s regeneration energy, will hopefully change her; make her so much more than human. Not quite a full Time Lord, and if he knows Rose as he does, she will _always_ be so very human. But she will have many of the advantages of his kind. Though he’s not entirely sure she will fully regenerate, her healing will increase exponentially and her aging will slow dramatically.

Or so he hopes.

Preparing to use the sonic to guide a small amount of energy towards Rose's blood sample, he watches in amazement as a small golden tendril moves of its own accord towards it. His hope rises, the energy _wants_ to connect, merge, with the cells. He smiles, a brilliant sign. After the energy and sample touch, he swiftly sets up a slide, places it in the microscope and grabs the monitor. He waits, eyes never leaving the screen.

“Come on, come on, come on!” the Doctor rants at the machine. He watches closely as the regeneration energy latches onto Rose’s cells. They glow briefly, the sight making him smile softly, the golden energy moving through them, and he waits. When the glow fades he grabs the slide and, quickly as safely possible, he prepares the sample for another DNA test.

For the next two hours, minutes seem to fly past and then drag interminably. The Doctor stalks restlessly between the med bay and their bedroom, only managing to be still when watching Rose sleep. But he’s so caught up in his need to know if they can have a real forever that even being next to her isn’t enough to still his movements for long.

When the DNA scanner finally beeps, signalling the tests are done, the Doctor is already standing beside the printer, agitated, and awaiting the results. Practically ripping them out of the machine, glasses balanced on his nose, he reads them, then again and once more, a huge grin covering his face. He lets out a large whoop, the confirmation of his hopes for Rose, and himself, now in his hands.

Rose’s DNA has reacted perfectly to the introduction of the regeneration energy from his hand. The changes that began a long time ago (and he wonders what might have happened if he hadn’t taken the Vortex from her) are done. The sample now shows DNA that isn’t human; it’s much too complicated for that, but not quite Time Lord, slightly simpler than his own. The Doctor suspects the first time she regenerates, as scary as he finds the prospect, her physiological changes will be vast, including the growth of a second heart and a respiratory bypass. And changes to her mind, allowing for the telepathy that is normal for his species, something he does wish for. One of the differences, he suspects, is that a large portion of his DNA accounts for changing bodies and the results suggest hers does not have that much variation. If he’s correct, at the time of her regeneration, the outward physical changes will not be much.

Mentally smacking himself for wasting time thinking about things that don’t matter yet, the Doctor grabs the jar and heads back to their bedroom, back to Rose. Carefully, barely managing not to shake, he uses tongs to take the hand from the jar. He stares in awe as the golden glow around the hand grows as it moves closer to Rose, the energy reaching out to her. Gently, he places the hand over her heart, drops the container and pulls a chair up beside the bed.

While the energy surrounds and soaks through Rose’s skin, the Doctor watches. Gold light surrounds her, reminding him of when she stepped from the TARDIS as his own personal goddess. Except this time, there’s no fear that he’ll lose her, just complete joy in the creation of a new dream.

The Doctor begins to count the seconds, minutes, hours until Rose wakes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No warnings for this chapter. Thanks to silver as always for her amazing assistance! 
> 
> This chapter heads into _the End of Time_. All recognisable dialogue and events come from that episode.

When she wakes, the first thing Rose is aware of is the Doctor sitting beside the bed. She briefly wonders if he’s been there all night, but decides it doesn’t matter, not when he looks so happy.

“Morning, sleepy head,” he says with a big smile, “Been wondering if you’d ever wake up.”

“Morning, Doctor,” she replies, stretching as she does. It almost feels like she’s been asleep for days, not hours. She feels more awake and aware than she has in so long, she revels in it, spreading across the bed as she curves her body and works out the last of the kinks. Wearing just his boxers and a big grin, Rose can’t help but think how adorable the Doctor looks right now and she smirks as he watches her movements.

Climbing onto the bed and over her, he says, “Feels like you’ve slept for days! I missed you.”

Running her hands down his chest and toying with the waistband of his boxers, she points out, “Can’t have been that long, you never would have let me sleep a whole day away.”

“Cheeky! Who’s the Time Lord here?” he asks with a smug grin.

Rose pokes her tongue out at him, enjoying his playfulness. “I don’t know… All I see is a giant puppy.”

“Puppy?” he squeaks indignantly before mock glaring at her. “I’ll show you puppy!”

There are questions she needs to ask and things he should be explaining. Rose knows that, she told herself she’d get answers today. But when he kisses her like it’s the only thing he ever wants to do, she thinks the questions can wait just a little bit longer.

When they finally make it out of bed, Rose hops in the shower. Of course, it takes twice as long as it should when the Doctor joins her. After she finally manages to push him out, he pouts but gets dressed, telling her to hurry and meet him in the console room when she’s done. Dressing without much thought, she throws on jeans and a simple t-shirt and stares at herself in the mirror. She shakes her head, deciding she’s being foolish. She’s the same as she’s always been. 

Heading into the console room, Rose stifles a giggle as she sees the Doctor doing his typical piloting dance around the console. She takes a deep breath. And another, waiting for him notice her appearance.

“Doctor,” she says, “we need to talk.”

The Doctor smiles at her, and to Rose, it doesn’t quite ring true. He rushes over and grabs her hand, tugging her towards the door as he proclaims, “Later, Rose. We just landed on Izenlas and there’s a festival here that only happens once every fifty years. You don’t want to miss it.”

Rose sighs and lets him drag her out of the TARDIS. She hopes getting him to talk is not going to be as hard as she suspects.

However, the pattern Rose was already vaguely aware of becomes more and more apparent over the next ten or so days. The Doctor seems lighter than he has since she returned, but even more intent on avoidance.

She wakes almost every morning to the Doctor watching her, either from his side of the bed or the chair next to her. Most days start with sex, in bed, or in the shower. Or on one memorable morning, both. Rose smiles; she’s not against that at all. Then he flies them somewhere new and exciting and ‘not to be missed Rose, it’s once in a lifetime event’. She frowns. Pointing out that they have a time machine makes no difference; it always has to be _right then_.

The words vary, but it’s always a festival, a meteor shower, a party that can’t be missed and a ‘we can talk later, Rose’ from the Doctor. Except later, she’s often falling asleep on her feet and asking questions that she suspects don’t have easy answers is the last thing on her mind. If she’s not falling asleep, she generally finds herself carried to the bath or their bed. On those nights, they make love before she falls asleep. They tend to be Rose’s favourite nights, with the Doctor falling asleep beside her. But, no matter what happens when they return to the TARDIS, it always seems to end with Rose drifting off in the Doctor’s arms. Her questions remaining unasked and she tells herself, every night, she’ll get answers tomorrow.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Untangling his limbs from Rose’s, the Doctor climbs out of their bed and quickly pulls on his suit. He looks down at the sleeping form of the woman he loves and smiles softly. She’s exhausted after almost two weeks of constant travelling and, he smiles smugly, a lot of energetic sex. Which is fine, he wants her to sleep through his next trip.

Though he doesn’t want too, he’s come to accept that it’s time to deal with the Ood.

Of the last nine places they’ve been, the Doctor has seen Ood Sigma in eight of them. There’s a reason the Ood keeps appearing and he’s going to find out what it is. And then stop it. He’s fairly certain Rose hasn’t seen their follower; he thinks maybe she can’t. But he doesn’t want to run the risk that she might. Because she’s already been pushing for answers and he’s not sure how much longer he can keep running before she decides to stop letting him.

As much as he wants to ignore the Ood’s obvious request for attention, he suspects that they will follow him and Rose until he speaks with them. He sighs and the TARDIS lands gently on the Ood Sphere. Grabbing his long coat, he slips it on and steps outside. He’s not at all surprised that Ood Sigma waits for him.

Arms crossed, the Doctor rests back against the TARDIS looking displeased. “There you are. And here I am. Can’t say I’m happy about the fact you’ve been following us around. Is it necessary?”

“You should not have delayed,” says the Ood.

“The universe owes me some time with my...” he pauses, considering, “mate. And last time I was here, you said my song, or Rose’s, would end soon and, given my current circumstances, I’m in no hurry for that.”

“You will come with me,” Ood Sigma says, leading the Doctor towards the city.

The Doctor stares at the city as they walk past, looking confused. “Impressive city, how long did it take to achieve all this?”

The Ood replies, “One hundred years.”

“That’s a problem. All of this is too fast. Not just the city, I mean your ability to call me, project yourself anywhere in space, and time. Something's accelerating your species, and I don’t like it,” the Doctor says, confusion and mistrust evident.

Quietly, Ood Sigma says, “The Mind of the Ood is troubled.”

He can’t run any longer. In acceptance, the Doctor sighs. “Why, what’s happened?”

The Ood replies, “Every night, Doctor, every night we have bad dreams.”

Following Sigma, the Doctor enters the cave where the Ood elders sit. His curiosity warring with worry, he listens to what they say.

“Returning, returning, returning, it is slowly returning through the dark and the fire and the blood. Always returning, returning to this world. It is returning, and he is returning, and they are returning, but too late. Too late. Far too late. He has come.”

At Sigma’s insistence, the Doctor sits and joins the circle of Ood, taking the hands of the elders on each side of him, listening and waiting as the elders share their dreams. He flinches and drops their hands when he sees the face of the Master, laughing, all sanity gone. His worry increases quickly as they talk about the events in the past changing the present. He knows it can happen, but without control and knowledge of Time, the risks are huge.

Taking the Oods’ hands again, the Doctor sees Wilf, scared and alone, and fears for him, and even Donna, quickly squashing any guilt he might feel about what happened to her. The images of the ‘king in his counting house’, a man and woman being photographed, he ignores; they’re unknown and he can’t see a part they might play. But the sight of Lucy Saxon, _that_ holds his attention. He stops the elders and shows them who she is, or was. He explains who the Master was, showing them the Time Lord’s death and the destruction of the body.

One of the elders speaks, “Yet, you did not see.”

When he’s shown someone picking up the Master’s ring, the Doctor understands. Part of the other Time Lord survives and with all that the Master is capable of, that’s enough to bring him back once again. For the first time since Rose was hurt, he feels real fear. He gets up, ready to run back to the TARDIS, but is stopped by the words of the Ood.

“Something more is happening, Doctor. The Master is part of a greater design. Something vast is stirring in the dark. The Ood have gained this power to see through time, because time is bleeding. Shapes of things once lost are moving through the veil, and events from years ago threaten to destroy this future, and the present, and the past.” 

“What do you mean?” he asks, fear in his voice.

“This is what we have seen, Doctor. The darkness heralds only one thing,” the elder replies, before all the Ood join him, “The end of Time itself.”

With the last words of the Ood ringing through his head, the Doctor runs back to the TARDIS, putting her into the vortex and heading to Earth. He doesn’t want to, but the idea of the Master loose in the universe terrifies him. Especially if the mad man ever finds out about Rose. If he’s lucky, he thinks, maybe he can sort out this mess before she wakes.

As he lands outside the prison that once held Lucy Saxon, he looks on the ruins and frowns. He’s too late, he thinks, to stop this before it starts. With a sigh, he returns to the TARDIS and sets up a scan, looking for signs of a Time Lord. While his ship drifts, running her scans, he quickly heads to the bedroom and to his sleeping Rose.

For a few minutes, he just watches her sleep. The Doctor admires how peaceful she is and he envies her, the not knowing or worrying about what’s currently happening. He sits beside her, dropping a soft kiss on her lips before leaning back. His fingers rest on her temples and he slips into her mind once again. He hopes one day, he’ll be able to enter Rose’s mind properly, holding back nothing, sharing himself with her fully and feeling her do the same. But for now, he barely maintains his control as he finds that part of her mind controlling her sleep, and once again adjusts it. He prays to deities he doesn’t believe in, that the twelve hours he’s put her under for will be long enough to remove the threat.

It takes everything in him to leave Rose, and the TARDIS, and step out into the afternoon light, into a wasteland. There’s an abandoned warehouse surrounded by rubbish. Building supplies and piles of rubble are strewn across the landscape. The Doctor stands atop one of the mounds, looking around before he sniffs the air. He can smell the Master.

Then he hears it. The banging. Four times, in a familiar rhythm. He waits, trying to pinpoint where it comes from when it repeats. Bang, bang, bang, bang. The Doctor runs, heading towards the source of the noise, towards the Master. He hears the pattern being repeated, again, and again, and when the noise stops, he knows the chase has really begun. He runs as adrenaline and desperation courses through him.

Stopping, he stares in awed horror when he spots the Master just as he launches himself into the air, continuing the chase. It’s shorter this time, as the Doctor quickly nears his prey. But he feels real fear as the man flashes, like an x-ray, turning skeletal. The other Time Lord is dangerous enough, but if his life is threatened, he’s capable of anything.

“You’re burning up your own life force. I’ll help, if you stop this _now_!” the Doctor shouts.

The Master only laughs before taking off again, the Doctor quickly following. Sparing no thought for the old man, he pushes past Wilf and jumps up the side of a pile of girders. He sighs in frustration; the Master is gone. He hops down, facing Wilf and his friends. One of the women is rattling off an explanation and he frowns.

“Wilf, did you tell them who I am?” he asks. “I do _not_ want everyone knowing.”

“No, no, I just said you were a doctor, that's all. And might I say, sir, it is an honour to see you again,” Wilf says, offering a salute.

The Doctor looks at the old man and resists the urge to run off. Though he ignores Wilf’s friends, he asks the old man, “Is there a reason you’re looking for me? I’m a little busy.”

Wilf nods, “There is. But I can’t tell you here. It’s about that man, the one with the crazy laugh.”

Remembering the words and images from the Ood, he agrees to go with the old man, deciding it’s possible Wilf knows something. A short time later, they step off the small bus and walk into a café. He briefly wonders why that café and not one of the many they passed by, but thinks no more of it after they sit down. He listens as Wilf mentions events they shared, the whole time, he wonders one thing.

“Who are you?” the Doctor asks. “People wait hundreds of years to find me, but you, you manage it in hours.”

“Well, I’m just lucky, I s’pose,” Wilf replies.

“No, we keep on meeting, Wilf,” he says, annoyance growing. “Over and over again, like something’s connecting us.”

Wilf frowns a little, asking, “What's so important about me?”

The Doctor sighs. “Exactly. Why you? What is so important about _you_?”

For a few moments, there’s silence between them. Wilf is waiting as the Doctor thinks. He has no idea why he keeps running into the old man, but taking a deep breath, he decides to talk with him for a few minutes, see if he can learn anything.

Unsure where to begin, he offers information. “There’s this prophecy, I was told, more than once. He will knock four times. He’ll knock four times and I’ll die. Or…” he pauses, struggling, “she will.”

Wilf worriedly asks, “Donna?”

“No, not Donna. She’s safe,” the Doctor says. He did what he had to, to get Rose back. He knows that, but occasionally, he feels some measure of guilt about the woman hurt in the process and he doesn’t want to deal with that now.

Wilf sighs in relief. “But I thought, you said your people could change, like, your whole body?”

The Doctor nods a little, “I can, but I can also still die. If I’m killed before my regeneration, I’m dead. And changing, it feels like part of me dies, each time. And I don’t want to be a new man. But…”

He shakes his head, thoughts of Rose’s reaction to another regeneration running through his mind. But while she may be more resilient, and if he’s lucky, even have her own form of regeneration now, the prophecy could still be about her. And that idea truly terrifies him.

Paying attention to the old man, the Doctor notices Wilf is staring out the window and he looks too. There’s Donna, standing beside a car, looking for her keys. He quickly banishes the guilt and sighs. That’s why it had to be this café, he realises. He listens patiently to her grandfather beg him to fix her memory and some part of him suspects he probably could. But then, he doesn’t want anyone to know what he chose to do. And what he would choose to do again. But more than that, he’s not ready for Rose to find out.

The Doctor tries to pay attention, offer small smiles and a gentle nod as Donna’s grandfather talks about the man she’s going to marry and how their life is going. He’s glad when she appears to be as fiery as she always was and he snorts when he hears possible last names when she marries. But otherwise he says very little, waiting for Wilf to finish and trying not to run. But when Wilf changes the topic and asks if he’s alone, the Doctor can’t stop a huge grin.

“No, no, I’m not alone. I’ve got my Rose,” he says, any niggling guilt dissolving into joy as he thinks of Rose, safe and secure in their home.

Wilf pats his hands, a sad but slightly relieved smile on his face as he says, “Well, I’m glad you’ve got someone. And if you ever think of a way to fix my Donna, I know she’d be happy for you too. She told me you were hopeless on your own.”

The Doctor gives a small nod in agreement, Donna wasn’t wrong, and wishes Wilf a merry Christmas before heading out of the café.

By the time he returns to the TARDIS, night is falling. With a quick thought to how long Rose will have slept already, the Doctor is fairly confident he has at least eight more hours until she wakes. He hopes it’s long enough.

Before he enters his ship, he looks around the abandoned land and factory. He sniffs deeply and nods, his suspicions proving correct. The Master has returned to the area. He heads into the once empty building and at the far end of a large room, the other Time Lord turns as he stands, then stills, waiting. If the situation wasn’t so serious, the Doctor might have laughed at how they must appear, facing off in the dark.

The Doctor moves towards the Master, watching the electricity fly from the madman’s hands. He doesn’t stop moving until the third blast hits him in the chest. It hurts more than he expected, but he grits his teeth, trying to stay standing. There’s surprise when the electricity stops and then he’s falling forward, landing hard on his knees. But before he hits the ground, the Master is there, holding him, staring at him.

Then, he's hitting the ground, trying to catch his breath and stop the pain as the Master paces in front of him. When the other Time Lord squats in front of him and starts going on about the past, their once home, the Doctor manages to push himself up enough to speak.

“All that eloquence, but I don’t want to reminisce with you. How many have you killed in your latest attempt to stay alive?” the Doctor asks, practically spitting the words out.

“I’m so hungry!” says the Master. “And that human Christmas out there. They eat so much. Hot, fat, blood, food. Pots, plates of meat, and flesh, and grease, and juice, and baking, burnt, sticky hot skin. Just eating and eating.”

“Stop it,” the Doctor commands.

Not hearing, the Master continues, “It's mine. It's mine. It's mine to eat and eat and eat.”

The Doctor almost yells, tiring of the ranting Master. “Shut up! I don’t have time for you to be insane. There is so much more at work tonight than you and me.”

“Oh yeah?” the Master asks, and the Doctor knows the mad man’s curiosity has been piqued.

The Doctor pushes himself to his knees. “I've been told something is returning, something much bigger, and much worse than you. I’ve been told, the end of Time itself.”

The Master closes his eyes and grabs at his hair. “It hurts, Doctor, the noise. The noise in my head, Doctor. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. Stronger than ever before. Can't you hear it?”

The Doctor tries to push aside his frustration and says, “I can’t hear it. No one can, except you.”

“Listen, listen, listen, _listen_. Every minute, every second, every beat of my hearts, there it is, calling to me. Please listen,” the Master almost begs and the Doctor relents. If it will make him understand, he’ll let the other Time Lord try.

The Master grabs the Doctor, fingers on the side of his head and then he’s there, and with the other Time Lord, come the drums. Moving backwards abruptly, he stares in shock at the Master. He can hear them. The drums are real.

“What? _What_?” the Master asks.

“I heard it,” the Doctor says in shock. “But there's no noise. It was just your insanity. So what is it? What’s inside your head?”

While he stands, the Master launches himself into the air again. His mind whirling and spinning, trying to understand what he just heard, the Doctor runs after the other Time Lord. The chase only lasts seconds. He stops when he sees the other man standing on a small pile of dirt, proclaiming himself the king and ranting about some greater calling, a destiny.

A bright light illuminates the Master and a smaller one shines on the Doctor. He watches in fascinated horror as a soldier injects something into the self-proclaimed king. As they haul him up into the hovering helicopter, he chases after them. It takes him a moment to realise the sharp noises mean he’s being shot at. He yells, pleads, even begs, but he knows it will make no difference. Then there’s only pain as something hits him in the back of the head. He falls forward, his world turning black.


	6. Chapter 6

When the he wakes in the wasteland, the Doctor knows that over two hours have passed. Not wanting to waste any more time, he runs into the TARDIS, sending her into the vortex, and goes through everything he’s seen. He thumps the console as he realises he has no idea where to even begin looking for the Master.

Stripping off his ruined suit, he stalks through the bedroom, sparing a glance to check if Rose still sleeps, and into the en suite. Hopping in the shower, he remembers Wilf and how quickly the old man found him. There’s no guarantee, he knows, but there’s a strong chance that Wilf might be holding a clue and doesn’t even know it. Pulling on a clean outfit, he rushes back to the console room, setting the coordinates to land outside the Noble house the following morning.

Unable to knock on the front door, he notices Wilf moving around one of the upstairs rooms and finding a rock, the Doctor throws it at the window. He sees the old man look out at him and he moves back towards the TARDIS to wait. When Wilf walks out the front door, he stalks over to him.

“Someone took him. I was unconscious and they took him. He’s on Earth, so they’re human. And while I can still smell him, he’s too far away,” the Doctor says in a rush.

“You can’t park here. What if Donna sees?” asks Wilf.

Ignoring Wilf’s complaint, dismissing it as nothing, the Doctor continues. “You're the only one, Wilf. The only connection I can think of. You're involved, for whatever bloody reason. Now tell me, have you seen anything? Anything strange, or out of place?”

The Doctor listens, barely able to stand still, as Wilf tells him about Donna’s ‘funny moment’ over a book she gave him as a gift. He paces while he waits as the old man runs inside to grab the book and, as soon as he sees the cover, he understands. In the visions the Ood had shown him, the man on the cover was the one they had referred to as the ‘king’. He smiles a little as he realises that, knowingly or not, Donna is still helping.

The smile drops quickly as Sylvia walks outside and sees him. As she starts telling him off, he barely resists the urge to roll his eyes. There’s some choice words he’d like to share with her, but it’s not the time. Sarcastically wishing her a Merry Christmas, he turns to leave. When Wilf follows, he lets him, not because he particularly wants the company, but because experience tells him there’s still a part for the man to play.

Charging into the TARDIS, the Doctor starts talking, mostly to himself, almost forgetting that Wilf is with him, even as he pushes the book back into the old man’s hands. He circles the console, running searches for Naismith and flying into the vortex. He doesn’t stop moving, even when Wilf asks why he can’t just go back in time and stop the Master getting caught. He explains briefly about the rules of time travel, knowing he won’t be understood, but not caring. He stops when he hears the next question.

“But where’s your Rose, Doctor?” Wilf asks.

“She’s sleeping. She’s exhausted and you are _not_ to bother her!” the Doctor says, glaring at the old man.

Raising his hands, Wilf nods. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Nodding sharply, the Doctor says, “Good.”

Minutes later the TARDIS lands and they step out, into some stables. The Doctor hears Wilf exclaim, surprised that they’ve moved but otherwise he pays no attention. He knows the Master will be aware of his arrival, just as he’s aware the other Time Lord is nearby. Turning back to his ship, he uses his sonic and sends her a second out of time. Hopefully, it will stop the Master finding the TARDIS. And if he’s very lucky, it should also stop Rose leaving. He’s not sure which idea scares him more.

Running around the side of the large mansion, the Doctor pauses, seeing soldiers walk past. Wilf explains that Naismith has a private army, and he resists the urge to point out humans and armies are not a good combination. Instead, he leads them through a small door into a basement.

The Doctor stares briefly at the device in front of him and then looks at the woman nearby. “Nice gate,” he says, before raising his sonic, pointing it at the woman, and adding, “Shimmer.”

Suddenly, instead of a human in front of them, there’s a woman, humanoid, but with spiky, green skin. She sighs as Wilf says, “Oh my lord, she’s a cactus.”

Ignoring the sighing alien woman, the Doctor rushes to the computers spread out around the room. He taps a few keys and looks at the results.

“He’s got it working, but what _is_ it?” the Doctor asks the room, not expecting a reply.

“What are you doing here?” a man asks, rushing into the room.

Not even looking up, the Doctor points the screwdriver at him and says, “Shimmer.”

The alien, green and spiky like the woman, looks nervous, but the Doctor can’t bring himself to care. Instead he simply demands information.

“Tell me, _quickly_ , what's going on?” the Doctor asks, “The Master, Harold Saxon, the madman upstairs, whatever you’re calling him, what's he doing up there?”

As the Doctor scans the computers and tries to understand what’s happening, he gets frustrated when the alien male just says the device is working. With some questioning, his temper frays quickly and his voice rises, but he finally gets some answers. The aliens are Vinvocci, a race he has only limited knowledge of, and the technology is theirs. The pair is on Earth to salvage the Gate, but they were waiting for it to be working again which, thanks to the Master, it is.

Frustration growing, the Doctor almost yells at the aliens, “But what does it _do_?”

The aliens flinch, but explain that it mends, a device to heal the body. He frowns. He can understand why the Master might have interest in such a device, especially now, as his body destroys itself. But it’s too simple, too obvious and too small a goal for the other Time Lord. When Wilf asks why it’s so big, he stops moving and listens, annoyed he didn’t think to ask that. The Doctor stares in horror as the Vinvocci explain that the Gate is intended to mend whole planets.

“It does _what_?” he asks.

The female Vinvocci shrugs nervously and says, “It transmits a medical template across the entire population.”

The Doctor stares, silence surrounding him as he puts the pieces together and realises just how much damage the Master can do. Send a template across the entire human population, with an egotistical mad man controlling it. Ripping off his glasses, he runs. Barely aware of his surroundings, he sprints, moving fast as possible in the direction of the Master.

Barging into the large room with the Gate standing at one end, powered up, the Doctor yells, “Turn the Gate off! Right _now_!”

Someone commands the guards to raise their weapons and he barely notices, trying to stop what is about to happen. “Whatever you do, don’t let him near that device!”

“Oh, like that was ever going to stop me,” the Master laughs.

The Doctor watches in fear, the Master breaking out of his straightjacket and flying into the Gate. He tries to get the scientists, the guards, the Naismiths, anyone to turn the device off. They all stand there, shaking their heads with complaints of seeing the Master’s face. When Wilf walks in, he turns as he old man speaks, quietly and fearfully about the face in his mind. Moving the old man out of the way, he turns to the television. The American president seems to be affected too. It’s worldwide, he realises, earlier fears correct. Running back to the computers, he tries once more to shut the Gate off.

Trying to find just the power switch, the Doctor stops moving for a moment when the Master speaks. “You can’t turn it off. I locked it, idiot.”

Looking around the room in desperation, the Doctor grabs Wilf and drags him across the room to the two glass booths. They’ll have radiation shielding, since he’s sure the booths are being used to control the Gate’s Nuclear Bolt, its power supply. Entering the open booth, he shuts the door and hits the door release button. Yelling at the old man, he tells him to get the scientist in the other booth out and get himself in. He’s trying to stop the Gate’s effects, at least on Wilf. It’s too late for everyone else, he knows, even if he’s not entirely sure what’s going to happen to them. Yelling at Wilf, he explains that the button in the old man’s booth will release the door on the Doctor’s, a safety precaution. He growls as it takes Wilf precious seconds to understand and hit the button, but as soon as the door unlocks, he runs out.

“Forty seconds and counting,” the Master teases.

“To _what_?” the Doctor shouts.

The Master gloats, “Oh, you’re gonna _love_ this!”

Ignoring the madman in the Gate, the Doctor goes back to the computers, still trying to figure out exactly what the Master is doing. He pays little attention to Wilf answering his phone, though when he realises the old man is talking to Donna, he listens a little more carefully. Tapping away at a keyboard, he gets the impression Donna isn’t being affected, something that doesn’t surprise him, given what has happened to her mind. When Wilf starts talking to someone else, he stops paying any attention to that conversation and turns back to the Master.

“Hypnotism?” the Doctor asks. At the Master’s smirk he stops moving and stares. “No, that’s too simple for you. Mind control is too easy as well. Oh, you’re grafting your thoughts, personality, into their heads?”

“Oh, that’s still way too easy. They’re not gonna think like me. They’re all gonna _become_ me!” the Master says, smirking.

Raising his arms, the Master proclaims, “Aaaaaaand zero!”

A blue light flashes outwards from the gate, moving fast. As it passes, he watches the guards’, the scientists’, the Naismiths’, _everyone’s_ heads begin to rapidly shake, almost too fast to see. The Doctor looks around in fear, glancing at the television. The news anchor is shaking too and he can hear Donna through Wilf’s phone, talking about Sylvia and Shawn. Fear runs through him. He knew that Master was insane, but this is worse than he imagined.

The Doctor’s fear turns to horror as all around him, people’s heads stop shaking and staring back at him, from every direction, is the Master. He barely acknowledges Wilf’s cries about Donna, still turning, desperate to find anyone who is still themselves. 

“What have you done, you monster?” Wilf yells.

Various Masters question if they’re the ones being asked and the Doctor flicks around to look at each one. He needs to stop this, one Master is dangerous, but billions of them can, and likely will, destroy the universe. The Doctor clenches his teeth, rage and fear battling for control as he listens to the original Master gloat.

“The human race was always your favourite, Doctor. But now, there is no human race. There is only the Master race!” says the Master, finishing with a flourish and large grin.

As the Master laughs insanely, from all directions, the Doctor thinks of Rose, sleeping in the TARDIS and gathers his anger. Billions of people on Earth and he knows he should be worrying about them and he is, a little. But it’s the thought of the woman, sleeping peacefully on his ship that’s giving him the strength to stay, to try and fix this. There’s no way she will ever, _ever_ , be safe with the Master loose in the universe.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Rose wakes slowly. There’s a niggling feeling she should still be sleeping, like her mind is trying to pull her back under. She almost lets the urge overwhelm her, but it feels like she’s slept for hours longer than normal already. Sitting up, she stretches before she realises why the room seems oddly empty. The Doctor isn’t waiting for her to wake like he has been almost every day. She blinks and then shrugs, deciding not to worry.

Walking into the en suite, Rose takes care of her body’s pressing need and then hops in the shower. Letting the warm water wash over her, she takes her time, letting the last pulls of sleep fade. She half expects the Doctor to turn up, like he so often does. When she’s almost done and he hasn’t appeared, she frowns slightly. As frustrating, but fun she admits to herself, as his regular appearances in her showers can be, the fact that she’s been awake almost an hour and hasn’t yet seen him is odd.

Arriving in the galley, she digs out some cereal and has some tea, preparing herself. Today is the day, she has decided, she’s going to get some real answers from him. But first, Rose thinks as she clears up her bowl and mug, she has to find him. She walks into the corridor and heads to the console room.

When she finds the console room devoid of the Doctor, Rose realises that niggling feeling she’s got, that the TARDIS is empty apart from her, is actually right. She glares at the console. He’s been overprotective since, well, she admits, since her return, but now he’s leaving her behind?

Rose stalks to the TARDIS door, and goes to open it. She almost slips when her pull on the handle doesn’t make the door move. She speaks to the room in frustration. “He _locked_ me in?”

There’s a hum from the ship, one that feels like disagreement. Rose rolls her eyes. Trust the ship to be on his side. Moving back to the console, she looks at the monitor, hitting the button to bring up an image of what’s outside. It’s one of the little things she learnt about the TARDIS by watching the Doctor. Oh, she thinks, looking at the much distorted view of what appears to be a rather fancy garden on Earth.

“We’re out of time with the world, right?” she asks the ship, a wry smile on her face as the TARDIS hums in agreement.

Sitting down on the jump seat, Rose considers how to move the ship back into sync with the world and mutters to herself, “Fan- _tas_ -tic.”

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

The Doctor resists the urge to roll his eyes, as the Master whispers in his ear about having a planet to run. Maybe he should have run, grabbed Wilf and left the mansion, but with all the other Masters, there didn’t seem to be much of a point. And there’s the matter of Rose’s safety. He feels some sympathy for the old man tied up opposite him. Well, he thinks, at least Wilf has a more comfortable seat. His seat holds him rather uncomfortably upright, straps across his body, arms, and most annoyingly, his mouth. He listens as the Master talks to himself, one of them with the population count, and if he could move, strapped in like he is, he’d shudder. The idea of over six point seven billion copies of the mad Time Lord is terrifying.

Thinking about Rose briefly, he tries to ignore the Master. The Doctor hopes she stays asleep just a bit longer and if she does wake, the TARDIS respects his wishes, staying where and, more importantly, when she is.

He’s almost proud as Wilf stands up to the Master on his behalf. He wants to smile when the old man calls the madman a swine. The guilt isn’t entirely avoidable when Donna’s grandfather says he’d be proud if he was the Doctor’s father. When a mobile starts ringing, he wants to laugh at the expression on the other Time Lord’s face. He knows who it is; there’s only one person it can be.

The Doctor watches, brow furrowing as the Master digs through Wilf’s pockets and pulls out an old service pistol. He can see the fear in the old man’s eyes as the Master glances at the name on the phone before he answers it. Donna’s voice can be heard, sounding lost and confused. Face calm, the Doctor waits as the Master demands answers.

“Who is _she_? Why didn’t she change?” the Master asks.

“Well, it was this thing the Doctor did. He did it to her. The metacrisis,” says Wilf and the Doctor wonders if the Master suspects the truth.

Apparently not, the Doctor chuckles to himself, as a disgusted Master says, “He loves playing with Earth girls. Ugh.”

Watching the Master trace Donna’s call, and seeing Wilf panic, he hopes he’s correct about his old companion’s mind and what the pressure will do. He feels a flash of anger when Wilf’s voice starts breaking as he tells his granddaughter to run. It’s not a time to cry, the Doctor thinks. But then, if that was Rose running for her life and he was hopeless to help... He needs to stop the madman, soon.

They can all hear Donna’s voice as she says it hurts, her head, feeling like it’s burning. The Doctor almost smirks under his gag as he _feels_ the energy surge. He was correct. The pressure in her mind sent a burst of energy, left over from his rather ungraceful trip into her head, flashing outwards. It will have knocked out anyone in the vicinity.

The Master stares at him and the Doctor can’t stop the full blown smirk, even under the gag. He winks, amused by the confusion and growing frustration of the other Time Lord.

“That’s better,” the Doctor says, smiling smugly after the Master rips the gag off. “Did you really think I’d leave one of my best friends without some kind of protection?”

“Doctor,” Wilf begs, “What happened?”

Barely glancing from the Master, the Doctor says, “She’s fine. She’ll just sleep.”

The Master leans towards the Doctor and asks, “Tell me, where’s your TARDIS?”

Even if Rose wasn’t in the TARDIS, he wouldn’t tell the Master, but knowing she’s still inside, he’ll let the Earth stay like this before he gives up his ship. The Doctor raises an eyebrow. “Do you really think I’ll tell you?”

“Where is it?” whispers the Master.

“Do you really need my TARDIS? You’re a genius, but all you want to do is destroy, so why would I give you my ship? So you can spread your insanity across the universe? Stop this,” the Doctor says.

“Is this the part where you offer to help me? Offer to save me from myself?” the Master asks, mockingly.

The Doctor lets out a sharp laugh. “Oh, no, no, not this time. I’m done trying to save you. You don’t want to be saved. You’re too busy embracing your own mad reality,” he says, almost laughing as the Master blinks in shock.

Eyebrows shooting up, the Master says, “That’s new, slightly unexpected really, since you’ve been trying to save me for centuries. But maybe I embrace it because I don't know what I'd be without that noise.”

“Sometimes,” says the Doctor quietly, “I wonder what I'd be, without you.”

“Yeah,” the Master sniffs.

The Doctor blinks, attention shifting when he hears Wilf asking, “What does he mean? What noise?”

The Master turns towards Wilf, and starts talking. “It began on Gallifrey, as children. Not that you'd call it a childhood.”

The Master sits down to continue his story. The Doctor listens quietly as the Master explains about being eight and taken to look into the Untempered Schism. When Wilf looks to him, the Doctor briefly tells him that the Schism is a gap in the fabric of reality, a way to see into the Time Vortex. And it hurts. He can’t stop himself from wondering about what Rose saw when she took in the Vortex. Was it like looking into the Schism?

The Doctor turns his focus back to the story as the Master says, “I looked into time and I heard it calling to me. Drums, the never-ending drums.”

The Master looks to him, almost begging, “Listen to it. _Listen_!”

Almost sighing, the Doctor says, “I can’t hear it. But maybe we could find it.” He doesn’t add that they would have to do so without the TARDIS.

“Except,” the Master says, before going off on a rant about the noise now being inside over six billion heads. Every copy of the Master can hear the drums. The rant stops as the Time Lord flashes, skeleton showing, before he curls in on himself and crouches on the floor.

“Oh, but you’re still dying,” the Doctor mocks. “Do you think you have time?”

“All this body can do is die,” says the Master, “but you mentioned the end of Time.”

Frowning, the Doctor asks, “I said something is returning, but what does that matter to you?”

The Master stands and walks towards him. “Don't you see? The drumbeat is calling from so far away, from the end of Time itself. And now it's been amplified six billion times. Triangulate all those signals. I could find its source! Oh, Doctor, that's what your prophecy is about. Me!” he finishes, arms flung wide open in joy.

Stepping forward, the Master slaps him and the Doctor glares while the madman asks, again, where the TARDIS is. He refuses to answer, silently watching as the Master commands one of his guards to kill Wilf. He barely registers the old man telling him not to reveal his ship, too busy watching the guard. Smiling coldly, he lets the Master yell for an answer, throw around threats while he enjoys the fact his silence annoys the other Time Lord. It’s after third threat on Wilf’s life that he breaks his silence.

“The most impressive thing about you,” the Doctor says, smirking, “is that after all this time, you’re still bloody stupid.”

Rolling his neck, the Master tells the guard, “Take aim.”

The guard raises his gun, but the Doctor just smiles. “Six billion pairs of eyes and you miss the obvious.”

Anger in his voice, the Master asks, “Like what?”

“That guard,” the Doctor, nodding towards the guard with the gun, says, “is one inch too tall.”

The Master turns towards the guard, only to be hit in the face with the butt of the gun. The Doctor lets out a sharp laugh as the Master falls to the ground in a heap. The guard removes his helmet and he’s not particularly surprised to see the Vinvocci man. Only humans were affected by the Gate. The alien nervously rambles on about never having hit someone before and a few seconds later, the female Vinvocci runs into the room, saying they need to leave quickly.

The alien woman unties Wilf and the Doctor impatiently waits for the man to let him out of his chair. He grimaces, listening to the alien complain about not being able to undo the straps. When the woman says to just wheel him, he yells, telling them to get him out. His annoyance shifts to anger as the Vinvocci ignore him. He needs to get back to the TARDIS. He needs to check on Rose and find a way to stop the Master tracking that signal.

“Listen to me,” he yells in desperation.

They ignore him and, upon reaching the stairs, the Doctor grimaces as his chair drops down each step. They head into the basement and moments after they enter, the original Master and a number of his copies surround them.

The original Master is gleeful, proclaiming, “Gotcha!”

“You think?” replies the woman, lifting her arm and pressing her watch.

“No, no. Don’t!” the Doctor says, too late, as the alien pair, him and Wilf teleport onto the Vinvocci ship.

The Doctor swears under his breath then he shouts, “Get me out of this thing, _now_!”

Standing in front of him, the woman complains, “Don’t say thanks, then.”

Gripping the armrests and shaking them, the Doctor points out the obvious, telling them, “He’s not going to let us go. Now get me out!”

The alien duo starts freeing him from the chair, and he can hear Wilf talking about being in space and the Doctor can’t bring himself to care. He tells the Vinvocci to hurry up. The Master is smart enough to use the teleport if it isn’t turned off. Screaming as he’s almost free, he rips himself out of the last couple of straps and grabs his sonic. Running over to the teleport control panel, he aims the sonic at it and watches the panel spark violently as it shorts out, cutting the link to Earth.

Turning to the alien, he asks where the flight deck is, the woman trying to argue they’re safe, a hundred thousand miles above Earth. Bending down to look her in the eye, the Doctor tells her, in very small words, that the Master will have every single missile on Earth ready to fire. She raises a finger to argue and he waits for her to realise he’s right before she leads the way. It only takes a second and then she’s running, the male Vinvocci trailing and the Doctor goes to follow them. He turns, taking a moment to grab Wilf, still staring at his planet, and drag the old man out of the room.

The four of them run through the ship, the Doctor only vaguely paying attention to the path they take, going through possible options. When they enter the flight deck, he tells them to close everything down. When the Vinvocci ignore him, claiming local politics are not their business, he turns towards them, glaring.

“We’re not leaving!” the Doctor yells, using the sonic to disable the ship.

Listening as the ship powers down, the Doctor puts his fingers on his lips and shushes the aliens and the old man. He walks carefully around the deck, noticing that it’s run down, but in good working order and he’s thankful for that. Standing to the side, he waits, thinking, planning, trying desperately to work out the next step.

The Doctor drags himself from his thoughts when the female Vinvocci says, “No sign of any missiles. No sign of… _anything_. You've wrecked the place!”

“The engines are burnt out. Just auxiliary lights,” says the male alien, switch the lights on. “Everything else is kaput. We can't move. We're stuck, in orbit.”

“Thanks to you. You idiot!” the woman says, almost shouting at him before she storms out.

The Doctor stands beside Wilf, silent and staring at nothing. His face is still, but his mind runs in circles, trying to find an answer.

He doesn’t look up as Wilf starts talking, hopeful, asking, “I know you though. I bet you've got a plan, haven't you? Eh? Come on! You've always got a trick up your sleeve. Nice little bit of the old Doctor flimflam, ha-ha-ha, sort of thing? Eh?”

After a moment, the Doctor looks up at the old man, and he’s not sure what his expression is, but he sees the hope leave Wilf’s eyes. He turns back to staring at nothing.

The Doctor can understand the sentiment as Wilf turns away, rests his head on his hand, and says, “Oh blimey.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final part of The End of Time rewrite. So anything recognisable comes from that.

Rose wanders around in the console for what she guesses is the hundredth time. After the first half and hour, she gave up looking for the TARDIS manual, or even just some instructions. Apparently part of the reason the Doctor couldn’t fly his ship properly is that he never bothered to learn how. She snorts; knowing him, he threw the manual into black hole or something. 

Reaching the jump seat, again, she flops down and sighs. Staring at the time rotor, she takes a deep breath, and another. She knows it’s not helping. Rose wants to rage, to yell at the TARDIS, to scream at the Doctor. It’s not like she doesn’t know he’s been hiding a lot from her, she _is_ going to talk to him about it today. But to lock her in the TARDIS? 

“Bloody overprotective git,” she mutters, “Like I haven’t been looking after myself for years.”

There’s a hum of amusement from the ship and Rose quirks her lips. “You know, the stupid thing is, he’s probably out there getting into trouble.”

Unable to sit any longer, she starts pacing, again. There’s some way, she thinks, to get out of the ship. Even if it’s just moving it into sync long enough to slip out. She runs her hands over the levers and buttons on the console and glares.

Rose isn’t sure if she’s talking to herself or the TARDIS when she says, “When I get out of here, and I will, and after I’ve saved his stupid arse, I swear I’m going to tie him down. And I’m only gonna let him go when he gives me answers.”

Slamming her hands down on the edge of the console, she yells, “Let me out! You know he’s gonna do something stupid, so just show me how to get out! Please!”

Head dropping, she chokes back a small sob. There’s a low hum from the TARDIS and to Rose, it sounds like sympathy. Maybe she’s not the only one worrying about her idiot Doctor. She stays there, head bowed, leaning on the console and gathering herself.

She blinks. A series of buttons on the console are lighting up in a repeating pattern. Hoping this is the TARDIS offering her assistance, Rose watches through the pattern cycle once more then presses the buttons in the order shown. There’s the familiar grinding noise of the ship moving, and a slight shift without movement. She quickly flicks the monitor to the outside view and smiles. The image is finally clear, showing the night sky over a large, classic style, well-lit garden. Whispering thanks to the TARDIS, she runs outside.

Turning around, Rose watches as the blue box fades again. Oh, she thinks, at least she had enough time to get out. She takes a step and then stares. Something is falling through the sky, trailing fire and smokes. Watching in amazement, she feels the ground shake as it crashes, somewhere not too distant.

Mumbling about unexpected occurrences around the Doctor, she rolls her eyes, figuring it’s probably something to do with him. Rose takes a couple of steps then stops. There’s a rather obvious flaw in her plan to save his arse, she realises. She has no idea where the Doctor actually is. Glancing towards the mansion, and deciding it’s as good a place as any to begin looking, she heads towards it.

Rose only moves a few metres before she stops. There are footsteps behind her and she can see maybe half a dozen guards coming out of the mansion, guns in hand. She grimaces as a hand drops onto each of her shoulders, holding her in place. The guards from the mansion approach and the leader flips up the visor on his helmet revealing a slightly scruffy blond man. Rose resists the urge to shudder as his eyes run over her.

“I sensed his TARDIS, but that only lasted a moment. Then, oooh, then the TARDIS went away. And left a much more interesting scent on the breeze,” the guard says. 

“Did you step in something?” she asks, smirking.

Nodding to the men behind her, their hands tightening on her shoulders, the lead guard replies, “This whole planet. The smell of humans, ugh.”

Rose raises her eyebrows, in mild surprise. Of course, she thinks, aliens have to be involved. Why else would the Doctor be here. Saying nothing, she waits for the man to continue, guessing he’s the type that likes to talk. She tries to ignore the niggling feeling that the man reminds her a little of the Doctor.

The guard starts turning away and says, “I smelt a lovely, little flower-” she flinches slightly and there’s a laugh behind her, “-in my garden. Come along, little flower. Time to go inside.”

As she’s led into the mansion, towards a large open doorway, Rose hears the guard’s voice through a speaker and frowns. The man leading her is quiet, but she’s sure that it’s his voice she can hear. 

She stops, jaw dropping, when the guards lead her through the doors. There are around a dozen people standing around. Rose blinks, and again, but nothing changes. Still a dozen people, but every single one of them is the same person. She has to suppress a slightly hysterical giggle at the one in the pink dress and heels. But the one in front of her, who’s laughing a bit like an old movie villain, is worrying. Her eyes widen when the man’s skeleton flashes through, much like he’s being x-rayed. Oh, she thinks, not good.

Rose tries to move back when the man in the hoodie stares at her. She can see the insanity, the menace in his gaze, and she doesn’t want to be near it. He smirks and she stands up a bit straighter. She’s not going to let some slightly, or completely, mad alien scare her. The little voice in the back of her head, telling her there are times she should be scared, gets expertly ignored. She’s had practice not listening to it lately. 

The one in the hoodie, she determines, is the one in charge. He nods to the guards behind her, she suspects if they lifted their visors they’d also be him, and they hold her tighter. She finds herself suddenly falling into a chair and ropes tightening around her. 

“I guess you won’t tell me where the TARDIS is, will you, little flower?” he asks and she tries to stop the flinch at the term. When he chuckles, she knows he’s seen it.

“Nope,” she says, trying to sound unbothered, “Doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. I don’t even know your name.”

He stares at her and she holds his gaze for a few moments, thankful for the times she’s had to stare down the Doctor. After half a minute, he laughs. “I’m the Master. And oh, you are _good_. I can see why he likes you.”         

Rose doesn’t respond, just watches him quietly. She can’t see the Doctor anywhere, but the Master obviously knows him and is guessing at her relationship with him. She certainly isn’t going to help him figure it out.

Apparently losing interest in her, Rose watches the Master. She has some opinions about _that_ name; Doctor doesn’t seem nearly as pretentious anymore. He’s a Time Lord, she’s sure of that and it confuses her, worries her. The one in charge starts directing the others around. He sends some off to collect supplies and tools, tells others to clear a space, and listens as others talk to people through nearby monitors. She stares in horror when she realises that every TV shows the Master as well. 

Everyone, Rose thinks, everyone on the planet is him. It’s the only thing that explains what some of them are wearing, like the pink dress, and the screens showing him in locations worldwide. On the scale of good to bad, this is a complete disaster and she _still_ can’t see the Doctor anywhere. Her brow furrows; where is he?

For the next hour or so she watches in silence, resisting the urge to ask questions. Somehow, she thinks asking the Master questions and expecting useful answers would be about as effective as asking the Doctor these days. She gives up trying to untie the ropes, or get out of them, and sighs. The alien’s obviously had practice tying people up. A group of Masters, looking like guards, walk in and Rose tries to catch a glimpse of what they hand over to the one she suspects is the original. Whatever it is, it’s small, but that and the fact it certainly makes them all grin are the only things she can tell.

Over the next few hours, Rose watches as the Masters assemble a large piece of equipment. She has no idea what it is, but given the number working on it, talking about it, and collecting parts for it, it’s obviously important. Pulling herself from her thoughts, she realises the one in the hoodie is talking to her.

“I was trying to decide which of his companions you are,” the Master says. “I’ve met Martha Jones. She was a surprise. I don’t think you are the old man’s granddaughter. No, little flower-” she manages not to flinch this time “-I think, you, you’re his precious Rose. And that is fantastic. For me!”

Rose raises her eyebrows, not expecting that. She opens her mouth, but the Master cuts her off. “Rose Tyler. The Bad Wolf. The one who swallowed the Time Vortex. And the one the Doctor loves,” he says, taunting her. “Oh, the Doctor used to go on and on about you. Looking every bit his age and still dreaming of a young, human girl.”

“Doesn’t sound like him, going on about a companion like that,” Rose says, trying to shrug, trying to hide her surprise that this man knows who she is.

“Oh, but you’re special aren’t you?” he asks rhetorically. “I can smell you, little flower. Underneath the rather overpowering scent of _him_ , and doesn’t that tell me so much, I can smell _you_. And you don’t smell entirely human.”

Rose bites her lip, wondering what the Master means. She clears her face when the man smirks, like he knows something she doesn’t, but the Master laughs, “Oh, that’s rich. You don’t even know.”

He wanders away, still laughing to himself, to check on the others, and Rose waits, watching. She tries to tell herself the Master was just taunting her, that she’s the same as ever. But she can’t quite dismiss what he’s said. She sighs, the idea of tying the Doctor up and demanding answers looks extremely appealing.

As dawn breaks, Rose watches as all the Masters stand to the sides of the room, except for the leader. He smirks at her, nodding to one of her guards, who efficiently gags her with a tie. She looks on as he takes a deep breath and tells a copy to open a broadcast.

In her forced silence, Rose swallows her fear as the Master calmly says, “A star, fell from the sky.”

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

The Doctor sits, his lap full of wires, trying to fix the Vinvocci ship. He’d seen night fall over England and he knows, by now, Rose will be awake. As much as he needs to stop the Master, he needs to get back to his TARDIS even more. He needs to make sure she’s safe.

Frowning, his fingers moving along the wires automatically, the Doctor considers what he saw earlier, something crashing to Earth. It’s no coincidence that it fell now, he’s certain. But what it could be, or what it could mean, he’s unsure. Working in silence, he listens as Wilf sits down beside him and talks. He glances at the planet when the old man points out dawn has hit England. He sighs; perhaps he should have been more careful with the sonic.

Connecting the last few wires, he turns towards the window, sliding his glasses off and lets the man talk about his past. When Wilf mentions an old man’s tales, the Doctor speaks for the first time in hours, pointing out he’s older. He wonders about humans looking like insects, as Wilf suggests, and he thinks many of them do, wasting time and pretending to live. But others, others don’t, they stand out, rising above the masses. He gives a faint smile as he responds, an image of Rose in his mind, saying some people are giants.

He stares as Wilf pulls out the pistol he saw earlier. It might not kill a Time Lord, but it could certainly slow him down long enough. He softly mutters no, but he considers taking it. The old man pushes it towards him again and the Doctor moves his hand, just slightly, towards the pistol. Wilf asks what will happen if the Master dies and he answers truthfully, the template would snap and everyone would return to themselves. 

Wrapping his hand around the pistol and the old man’s hand, the Doctor struggles with whether to pull the pistol towards him or push it away. A growing part of him wants it, wants to have a weapon, a show of force. There is still a small voice telling him he doesn’t use this kind of weapon, but the words are fading fast.

The Doctor flinches as he hears the Master’s voice over the speakers, saying, “A star, fell from the sky. Don’t you want to know where from?”

His brow furrows, hand resting on the pistol still and the Doctor hold his breath, waiting for the Master to continue.

“Because now it makes sense, Doctor. The whole of my life. My destiny. The star was a diamond-” the Doctor pushes himself forward, fear coursing through him, “-and the diamond... is a Whitepoint star.”

He gasps, knowing exactly what that means. The Doctor’s hand tightens on the pistol as the Master talks.

“And I have worked all night to sanctify that gift. Now the star is mine. I can increase the signal and use it as a lifeline. Do you get it now? Do you see? Keep watching, Doctor. I’ll make sure you precious little flower does.”

Fear turns to rage and the Doctor roughly snatches the pistol from Wilf’s hand as he stands. He barely hears the last of the Master’s message, his anger loud enough to drown out everything. The Master has Rose. The Time Lords are returning and the Master has _his_ Rose. 

The Doctor runs to the flight deck and, ignoring the Vinvocci pair and turning on the radio, listens to the signal, the Master’s drum beat. He clenches his teeth and then turns to the ship’s console, quickly fixing parts and flipping switches. He needs the ship working and he needs it working now. As Wilf tries to talk to him, he throws out the shortest answers possible. But when Wilf asks why he isn’t happy the Time Lords are returning, given how he talks about his people, the Doctor stops in front of the old man long enough to explain.

“That's how I chose to remember them, wanting to deny what they became during an endless war. You’ve seen my enemies, Wilf. The Time Lords are more dangerous than any of them,” the Doctor says, but he knows that’s not all of it. 

Continuing to power the alien ship back up, the Doctor continues, “But even at their best, they _hated_ other races. And if they didn’t understand something, they would pull it apart. Rose is unique. And to them, she will be something to pull apart, to find how she works, and then destroy. I will _not_ let that happen!” 

By the time he finishes, the Doctor’s shouting and he knows the aliens and the old man are scared. He doesn’t care. Realising the ship has asteroid lasers, he turns the ship’s power back on and cuts off any arguments by sending the Vinvocci male and Wilf to man a laser each. The Vinvocci woman complains that the Master can see them, but flinches when he yells at her to navigate. 

Turning to the controls, he grabs the steering column and pulls it back, sending the ship towards Earth. As they break through the atmosphere, he realises Wilf and the alien man are still standing behind him and he turns to them.

“I told you to get on the fucking lasers,” he yells, “I meant _now_!”

The Doctor watches as they run to the lasers, and then turns his focus to flying. Within seconds, missiles are heading towards them and he starts dodging, shouting at Wilf to start firing. Minutes passes while he manoeuvres the ship and the lasers fire. When a missile explodes too close to the ship, glass shatters and he ducks. As he stands, he yells at the woman navigating, telling her to lock onto the Naismith mansion. 

Asking how far from the target, he ignores the alien woman’s questions as he concentrates. He fears for Rose, in the Master’s hands. He needs to get to her. Wilf and the other alien emerge, asking questions and he ignores them all, clenching his teeth. 

Pulling the ship to an abrupt halt directly above the mansion, he gives the controls to one of the aliens, telling them to hold it there. He barely notices the fear on the woman’s face and he cares even less that it’s fear of him. He runs to a hatch in the floor and opens it. Sparing a quick glance at Wilf, the Doctor takes the pistol from his pocket and, thinking only of Rose, he jumps.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Eyes widening, Rose watches as a white light fills the far side of the room and dark shapes slowly come into focus as the Master watches on, an almost religious fervour on his face. Five Time Lords emerge from the light, the one in the centre obviously the leader and when the man glances her way, she flinches. The insanity she’s seen in the Master is nothing next to the true madness she can see on the new, or old, Time Lord’s face.

_Crash_.

Rose looks up, fear and worry rolling over her as the Doctor breaks through the glass ceiling and hits the floor, hard. She tries to call out to him, to ask if he’s okay, to tell him she’s okay, but the gag stops her. He glances towards her and his jaw clenches more. His hand reaches for an old pistol and she blinks, thinking she’s imagining things, but his hand really is wrapping around the weapon.

At that, her fear takes over, not fear of the Master, or even the Time Lords, but fear for the Doctor, holding a weapon. Rose knows he’s been quick to anger lately, and more likely to turn to violence, the events in Tanarus coming to mind, but for him to actually pick up a weapon, things must be worse than she understands.

Desperate to escape, Rose squirms in her chair, wishing she could help, watching the Doctor turn towards the newly arrived Time Lords. Slowly, he pushes himself up off the floor as a Time Lord, the mad one with the staff and metal gauntlet, steps forwards.

“My Lord Doctor. My Lord Master,” the alien says sarcastically. He looks at her, distaste plain as he continues, “What _ever_ you are. We are gathered for the end."

Rose looks at the Doctor, sees something flicker in his eyes, and she wants to know why the Time Lords don’t see her as human. As he pushes himself up, and rests back on his ankles, she ignores her concerns and focuses on what he’s saying.

“Leave her _alone_ , Rassilon!” the Doctor snarls, before he continues in an almost normal tone. “Listen to me. You don’t think -”

Rassilon cuts the Doctor off, saying, “It is a fitting paradox that our salvation comes at the hands of our most infamous child.”

The Doctor watches the Time Lords for a moment, but Rose notices that he keeps looking at her and the way his eyes move, it’s like he’s checking her over, again and again. For injuries maybe, or just to make sure she’s okay. She wishes she could speak, but settles instead for a small nod, an indication that she’s as okay as possible, given the circumstances.

The whole interaction takes seconds, she thinks, as the Doctor looks back to Rassilon, saying, “He's not saving you. Are you too stupid to realise what he's doing?”

“Hey, no, hey! That's mine. Hush! Look around you. I've transplanted myself into every single human being. But who wants a mongrel little species like them? Though, I have some plans for the Doctor’s little flower,” the Master says, gesturing at Rose and laughing when the Doctor growls loudly. “Especially once I transplant myself into every single Time Lord. Oh, yes, Mr President, sir! Standing there all noble, and resplendent, and decrepit. Think how much better you're going to look as me!”

Rassilon raises his gauntlet covered hand; it glows blue and nearly every head in the room starts shaking rapidly. Rose’s jaw drops, as much as it can, as the people start turning back to themselves. While the Master turns around in circles, saying no and almost begging it to stop, she notices the Doctor move towards her, barely acknowledging the fighting Time Lords around him.

While Rassilon starts ordering the humans around and the Master argues for his salvation, the Doctor removes Rose’s gag and asks, “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

She offers a small smile and says, “I’m all right. Can you untie me?”

“Of course,” he says, sliding the pistol under his arm as he removes the ropes and, glaring, he adds, “Next time, stay in the TARDIS!”

Rose frowns, but before she can speak, he looks towards the Master. She’s missed something, between the Master and Rassilon, she thinks, grabbing at the Doctor’s arm as the room begins to shake. Taking the pistol in one hand, he grabs her wrist with the other and moves them to the side of the Time Lord standoff. 

Looking at the Master, the Doctor, as if explaining to a child, says, “You idiot. Don’t you _ever_ listen? Some _thing_ is returning, not someone.”

The Master asks what it is and Rose peers around the Doctor as he explains it’s Gallifrey, to check out the five Time Lords standing in the light. She looks away from Rassilon quickly; he’s staring at her, a calculating look on his face, and she doesn’t like it at all. The two males on either side seem to be focussing on the Doctor and the Master so she doesn’t pay them much attention. However, one of the women has moved her hands, no longer covering her face. 

The woman offers her a small smile, her eyes sad, worry and resignation clear in her gaze. As Rose watches, the woman looks towards the Doctor and there’s so much pain on her face. She feels like she’s seen that look before, recently. Her mouth drops open as she remembers the last time she had seen her mum’s face, it had looked much like the woman’s. Oh, she thinks, a little in awe.

Stepping closer to the Doctor, she tries to move out of the way as all the people run out of the room, desperate to escape the destruction. Rose rolls her eyes as the Master begs for credit for saving Gallifrey, as if that will save him from the Time Lords. It’s obvious, even to her, that they don’t care about Earth or anyone on it, even the two members of their own race. Especially the two members of their own race, she suspects, judging by Rassilon’s smirk as he stares at the Master.

Rose turns towards the door as someone pushes their way through the fleeing crowd. Her brow furrows; she didn’t expect to see Donna’s grandfather push into the room. The Doctor barely acknowledges his entrance and her eyes follow the old man, Wilf, she thinks, as he runs to the glass booths over by the wall. As he steps into the empty one, he pulls his door shut and hits a button, which appears to unlock the other door. The Doctor sighs and she can only just hear him mutter ‘bloody idiot’ under his breath.

 

“This is fantastic, isn’t it?” the Master says, “The Time Lords restored.”

There’s tension in the Doctor’s jaw, and Rose can feel it in the grip he has on her wrist and see it in the way he shouts, “You fucking idiot! You weren't there in the final days of the War. You never saw what was born. The Skaro Degradations, the Horde of Travesties, the Nightmare Child, the Could-Have-Been King with his army of Meanwhiles and Never-weres. And all of them were _nothing_ compared to the monsters the Time Lords became!  And that's what you’re bringing back. Hell!”

“My kind of world,” the Master replies.

Rose wants to shout, to point out how wrong everything is and ask why the Master can’t see it. She wants to take the Doctor’s hand properly and run from the mansion. Instead, not wanting to draw the Time Lords’ attention, she waits, hoping, though for what, she’s not sure.

The Doctor rolls his eyes. “Even Time Lords can’t survive that! Don’t you get it yet?”

“We will initiate the Final Sanction. The End of Time will come, at _my_ hand,” Rassilon says and Rose feels a chill down her spine at the glee in his voice. “The rupture will continue, until it rips the Time Vortex apart.”

As Rassilon explains the Time Lords’ plan, Rose listens in horror. She thought Daleks were bad, but as the explanation continues, she realises just how much worse the Time Lords are. As long as they continue to exist, the universe means nothing to them. She wonders why there was even a Time War, since Rassilon seems to share Davros’ thoughts on an ideal existence. The Doctor seems to agree, telling the Master that’s why he ended to war. Why he was the one left standing after the end.

The Master barely listens to the Doctor and instead begs Rassilon to let him ascend too. Rose doesn’t quite understand the concept, but she doesn’t think the Master, the Doctor, or her are what the Time Lords would consider acceptable. Her thoughts are confirmed as Rassilon speaks.

“You are diseased, albeit a disease of our own making. And like my Lord Doctor,” Rassilon sneers at the Doctor, then looks at Rose saying, “and his _thing_. You will be no more.”

Rose frowns. If she and the Doctor make it back to the TARDIS, she is going find out exactly why she’s a ‘thing’ but now is not the time, she knows. Instead she watches as the Time Lord president raises his gauntlet at the Master. She closes her eyes. When she feels the Doctor’s hand leave her wrist and squeeze her fingers, she opens her eyes, to see his face right in front of her own.

“Do _not_ move. Stay right here and wait. Do you understand?” the Doctor asks her, his voice quiet and calm, but firm. Rose nods and he lets go. 

Moving between the two Time Lords, the Doctor raises the pistol and aims at Rassilon. Rose gasps, vaguely aware that in the booth, Wilf does the same. To know he had the weapon is one thing, to see him aiming at someone, _anyone_ , shocks her to the core. 

Rose watches in a sort of amused horror, knowing she might be hysterical, as the two mad Time Lords try and convince the Doctor to shoot the other. Turning from Rassilon, he aims the pistol at the Master, who quickly realises why, and when he mentions the link, she understands too. The Master begs, and threatens, and pleads, and his tears surprise her. Judging by the slight shake in his hand, it surprises the Doctor too.

The Doctor turns back to Rassilon, and Rose, unable to stay silent any longer, quietly says, “Doctor, stop.”

When Rassilon looks towards her, gauntlet held high, the Doctor glances towards her as well, and then narrows his eyes, shifting over slightly. He puts himself between her and the Time Lord, and Rose closes her mouth, watching. There’s no part for her in this confrontation and it seems like everyone is waiting for something, a sign. The moment passes as the president turns his attention back to the Doctor, asking who he will murder, as the final act of his life.

Rose feels like time has stopped; there’s silence, as if the very universe is holding its breath, awaiting the Doctor’s choice. Moments later, the woman who looked at her earlier, with such sadness, drops her hands once more and looks at him. She can see his recognition and when the woman glances back to her, so does the Doctor. There’s a sense of pride, as he stands straighter, a stillness washing over his body after he turns back to the Master and calmly says, “Get out of the way. Now!”

There’s a slight smile from the Master as he dives to the side and the Doctor shoots. The machine holding the diamond sparks and explodes. Rose can feel the pull as the white light drags at the Time Lords it carried from the Time War. Rassilon feels it too, and threatens the Doctor, who fails to respond to the taunt, so he threatens her. The Doctor raises the pistol once more, and moves closer to the booths and further from the all the Time Lords.

Before he can take a shot, the Doctor is told to move by the Master, who screams at Rassilon. Electricity flies from his hands, towards the president, and the Master steps towards the pulling light, screaming about his whole life. 

Rose counts as the Master does, with each of his steps. At one, the Doctor flies clear of the battle, towards the side of the room, hitting the floor in a heap. At two, Rassilon collapses, unable to withstand the pain any longer. At three, she slides around the edge of the empty booth, away from the glaring light. At four, the Master steps up beside Rassilon and white fills the room before fading away, taking the Time Lords with it.

The Doctor sits up, tracing the cuts on his face and hands, and Rose thinks he expected worse. She moves from behind the booth and he looks up at her, taking a deep breath before offering her a smile. The smile drops abruptly as a series of knocks fill the room. Four knocks, then again, the same pattern and, almost as one, they look to the booth where Wilf stands at the door, asking if he can be let out.

“Yeah,” Rose says. At the same time, the Doctor says, ‘No’.

“What do you mean no?” she asks, eyes wide as she stares at him.

The Doctor frowns, taking a step towards her and says, “Exactly that. No. To let him out, someone would have to enter the other side and hit the release button. Since those booths are about to flood with radiation, which would kill anyone, we can’t.”

Frowning, Rose steps backwards and says, “You could do it. You’d regenerate, right?”

“I could, and I would. But I won’t,” the Doctor says, moving closer. “Come on, Rose. It’s time for us to go.”

Eyes wide, she watches him for a second then swiftly ducks into the empty booth and hits the release button. If he won’t save the old man, she will. The Doctor yells her name and stares at her, angry and fearful. But before he can find a solution, the chamber begins flooding with radiation and she falls to the floor, curling into a ball in agony. Rose can only just hear him, still shouting her name as pain overwhelms her and the world fades to nothing.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose begins to learn the truth....

The Doctor sits by the bed, their bed, watching his Rose sleep. He counts every breath, counts the seconds between each inhale and exhale. Waiting for her to wake up, to open her eyes and prove that she’s okay.

As much as he tries to ignore it, the sound of Rose’s scream still echoes in his head and the image of her, curled up in a ball, practically dead, dances behind his eyelids every single time he blinks. He wants to curl up beside her, wrap himself around her. He wants to comfort her and to take comfort in her.

Instead the Doctor remains still and silent, eyes unblinking. Trying not to remember taking her into his arms and carrying her back to the TARDIS, listening to her heartbeat slow. Not wanting to think of stepping into his ship and slamming the door as he ignored the knocks and shouts of the old man.

He had managed to place Rose on the jump seat and send the TARDIS into the vortex just moments before the last beats of her old human heart.  Even now, the Doctor’s not sure what scared him more; her heartbeat stopping or the golden light that erupted from her seconds later. After what felt like a lifetime, the gold light had dissipated and her body relaxed. He barely looked at her then, just scooping her up and carrying her to their room.

Now, the Doctor still counts each rise and fall of her new chest. Rose’s body is almost the same, yet, it’s not; this isn’t the body he’s spent the weeks learning.

Even if he hadn’t looked as he carried her, some part of his mind noted the biggest changes. That she’s slightly taller, just a little bit heavier. Removing her old, radiation-soaked clothes, the Doctor couldn’t help but note the way she curves a little more and how her limbs are just a bit longer. In his silent vigil, he’s catalogued the other changes too, hair that’s a few shades darker than the once dyed blonde, cheekbones that are a little more defined. Her face is otherwise the same and he wishes she would open her eyes, because he wants, needs, them to be the same, that particular hazel he will always associate with everything Rose.

After a few hours, he realises that staring at Rose will not speed her recovery and he decides to change. Two suits ruined in less than two days, but he can’t bring himself to care about that. The Doctor drops his jacket to the floor, the oxford following it quickly. Undoing the fastening on his trousers, he then sits on the edge of the bed to pull his trainers off. It’s as he pulls off the second he hears the gasp.

He turns, watching as she wakes, breathing out a quiet, “Rose.”

She blinks rapidly as she starts to stretch, taking a few deep breaths, her chest expanding and the Doctor can almost hear her hearts beating. She sits up a little, the sheet he covered her with slipping down and he can feel a stirring in his groin at the sight. His eyes flick up to hers and he smiles in relief that hers are the same as ever.

The Doctor watches her stretching, and he stands, pushing his trousers and pants off and, grinning, he tugs the sheet down and off the bed. Leaning on the end of the bed, he’s completely hard now and Rose is noticing, her body responding even as she raises an eyebrow.

“Doctor, what happened? I remember the Master and...” she asks, trailing off as she places one hand over her left heart, brow furrowing in confusion.

Straight after regenerating, he knows her memories will be a little fuzzy and they can deal with that later, much later. Right now, he wants to celebrate the fact they’re both still alive, so he says, “Nothing much. I’ll tell you later, I promise.”

She nods distractedly and moves her hand to the other side of her chest. But when he crawls up the bed, she drops it and lies back with a smile, letting him cover her. The Doctor leans down to kiss her, and it’s frantic and messy, Rose’s hands run down his back, trying to pull him closer. Breaking the kiss, he obliges, nestling between her thighs and nuzzling at her neck, breathing deeply, learning the slight changes to her scent. It’s still _Rose_.

The Doctor groans as a small hand curls around his cock, stroking twice and he nips her shoulder gently. As he moves back to her lips, Rose lines him up and he pushes in, sliding deep. Like their kisses, their joining is messy and frantic. There’s no rhythm to his thrusts, and her hands are everywhere she can reach, stroking his skin and gripping him tightly, his thrusts getting rougher as he’s close to coming. Her mind is fluttering around the edges of his and it takes what little control he has left to stop himself from diving into hers. Focusing on their physical connection, and desperate to see her shatter first, he slips his hand between their bodies and, lacking his usual finesse, rubs her clit.

Moments later and she’s clenching around him, fingers digging into his back and biting down on his shoulder. A couple of short, sharp thrusts later and he’s coming hard, releasing deep inside her. The Doctor collapses on her, resting his head in the curve of her neck and smiling. He’s practically purring as she runs her fingers through his hair.

For a few minutes, it’s enough to feel her hearts beating beneath his, in time with his, but unable to resist the urge, he pulls out of her and moves down her body. Staying between her thighs, her wet heat a reassuring warmth against his stomach, he rests his head on her chest, between her hearts. The Doctor stays there, listening to the reassuring thump-thump, thump-thump and he smiles.

“I can’t believe it worked,” he says, the words simply slipping out.

Rose’s hands stop running through his hair and he can feel her tense beneath him as she pushes at his shoulders. When he finally looks up at her, she’s frowning as she asks, “What worked?”

Moving to her side, he tries to play it off, saying, “Oh, nothing important. No need to worry about it. I was just thinking out loud.”

“Doctor… Tell me,” Rose says, grabbing his hand from its place on her stomach. “I think I deserve the truth.”

“Really Rose, I was just talking to myself,” the Doctor replies, leaning in as if to kiss her. She places a hand on his chest, stopping him. Her brow furrows; she gasps and the Doctor moves back as she glares at him.

“Oh my god! Back in the mansion… You, you were going to leave him!” she practically shouts as she sits up. Voice dropping, she continues, “But, no, I, I went in and, the radiation. I should be...  be dead.”

The Doctor frowns, not wanting to think about that, saying, “Yes, you should be. Next time I say no, you’ll listen to me.”

Staring at him, jaw set, Rose asks, “What. Did you. Do?”

He stands, turning to look down at her on the bed, stating, “I did what I had to. I made you better!”

“Better?” she asks, her disbelief apparent. “Was I sick?”

He replies and, while he knows flippancy won’t help, he can’t help it as he replies, “No, no. You were fine. For a human. I just, improved things.”

Rose raises her brow. “Improved? So, I wasn’t good enough?”

“Of course you were,” he says, practically rolling his eyes at her. “You’ve always been good enough, Rose. Better than, really. But you were just so… human. So fragile, so breakable.”

Standing up, hands on her hips, Rose opens her mouth then slams it shut. Her head tilts to the side and she stares at the wall for a moment. Dragging her eyes back to his, she imitates him, “‘But you were just so human?’ The Master, that other Time Lord, they said things, that I was odd, I smelt wrong, not like the rest. That was you, wasn’t it? You made me less human, ‘better’?”

“Yes! I made you stronger. Less fragile,” he shouts, and then quietly adds, “Safer.”

“Not human!” she yells, blinking rapidly and he realises she’s trying to stop the tears from falling. He watches as she moves a hands over each of her hearts and breathes deeply, not asking, simply stating, “Time Lord. I regenerated.”

The Doctor steps around the bed, stopping when she steps back, and he quietly agrees, “Not human. Yes, Time Lord and yes, you just regenerated. But your species wasn’t the point.”

He can see the moment her anger takes over everything else and she shouts, “I don’t care about the point! You, didn’t even, _ask me_!”

Feeling defensive, the Doctor knows he made the right decision and points out, “You would have agreed. You said forever, that you’d made your choice and you would never leave. It was for the best! Otherwise, you would. Be. Dead!”

Stepping over to him, Rose glares up at him, “I’d only be dead because you were too much of a coward to save the man yourself! But _that’s_ not the point. I might have said yes, because I wanted to be with you for as long as I could. But you had _no right_ to choose for me!”

“I have _every_ right!” he says, looking down at her and clenching his teeth, “You are _mine_!”

The Doctor’s jaw explodes in pain and he gapes at her, unable to believe she just punched him; he didn’t even see her move. Shaking her hand, she tells him, “I am _mine_! You do not own me!”

Rubbing his jaw, expecting it will bruise later, the Doctor says, “I don’t own you, but you are mine. I need you.” She glares, but before she can interrupt he continues softly. “I need you, Rose.”

“Don’t,” she says, turning away from him.

The Doctor places his hands on her shoulders and she tenses. He grimaces, struggling against the urge to slip into her mind, to change her memories, the way she feels. It would be so easy, that way, to make her happy, he thinks, but it would be even easier to lose _Rose_ in the process. He can’t ever take that risk.

Instead, he asks, “Rose, you would have agreed, so what does it matter? If I hadn’t you’d be gone and I’d be alone.”

Before he can blink, Rose turns around and shoves him backwards. In shock, he trips over his trainer and falls backwards, landing heavily on his arse. She stands over him and he looks up at her, his jaw dropping. He can’t help but think she’s radiant in her fury.

“It matters, _Doc-tor_ ,” she says with a sneer, like she doesn’t think he deserves the name anymore, “It matters because you took my choice away. _Again_! You didn’t respect me enough to ask. Nooo, you just decided you know best.”

“I do know best!” he defends.

Rose opens her mouth then shakes her head, as if he’s not worth responding to. She turns from him, muttering under her breath. The only words he catches make him frown. He watches from the floor as she quickly puts on her underwear and jeans. For some reason he finds it amusing that they’re a bit short for her new legs. His vague sense of amusement turns to worry as she pulls a hoodie on over her bra and, keeping her distance from him, climbing over the bed to stay out of his reach. She practically runs from the room and the Doctor frowns.

Quickly he stands and follows her out of their room, jogging to catch up. He shouts after her, “Where are you going?”

His hearts skip a beat as, not even bothering to look at him, she says, “I’m getting out of here!”

Trailing her into the console room, the Doctor tries to tell her to stop before she opens the TARDIS doors, but is too late as she flings them open and she growls, “Shit!”

Walking up behind her, he reaches around her and closes the doors, shutting out the Time Vortex. He crowds into her space and waits for her to turn around. When she does, he can see her gathering herself, standing taller and glaring at him as she says, “Land her, now! And let me out of here!”

“No! I won’t! You can’t leave me. Everything I’ve done has been for _you_! You can’t, you can’t leave me,” he says and he doesn’t know if he’s ordering or begging. Grabbing her arms tightly, he tries to pull her away from the door but stops as she gasps, trying to break free.

“Let me go. Doctor, you’re hurting me!” she says, almost whimpering, struggling to break away from him.

The Doctor drops her arms and throws himself backwards, away from her, his eyes wide. Rose is hurt and she shouldn’t be hurt. He mutters, to himself or her, he’s not sure, “No, no, no. No, Rose. I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. Nothing should ever hurt you. Rose…”

There are tears gathering in her eyes as she stares at him, eyes unblinking and her back against the doors. He wants to comfort her, protect her, so he steps forward and she flinches. He stops moving and she relaxes minutely. She’s scared, he realises, not angry, but truly frightened. Of him. He’s hers in every way and he’s made her afraid. His hearts clench and it’s hard to breathe and he needs her to say something, anything.

Quietly, she says, “Then let me go. Take me to Jack or Mickey.” He growls at her, at the idea of letting her near either of those _men_ and she curls in on herself before she continues, “Then Sarah Jane. Or, will you, will you keep me, here, a prisoner? ‘Cause that’ll hurt me, more than anything.”

At her words, the Doctor drops his head, unable to deny the truth in her words. He silently moves back to the console, setting the coordinates and sending the TARDIS to Sarah Jane’s. He turns back towards the doors and sees Rose hasn’t moved away from them. Instead she just watches him.

“I’m sorry, Rose. Please, don’t leave me,” he begs, “Please. I love you. I need you, please. Stay with me?”

Rose shakes her head and he can see her tears falling freely now. It takes everything he has not to move to her, to wipe them away. She manages to say, “I have to, Doctor. I can’t be here right now.”

Latching onto the ‘right now’, the Doctor, refusing to believe there is any other option, states, “You’ll come back to me. I’ll wait for you, Rose. However long it takes, I won’t give up. I will always be here. For you.”

There’s a slight frown on her face, but before she can speak, the TARDIS lands with a small thud. She sobs a little, the sound is like a knife to his hearts, and opens the doors, about to step out when he quietly asks, “You will come home, Rose? You’ll come back, back to me, soon? Not too long, right?”

Openly sobbing now, she looks over her shoulder at him as she steps outside. His hearts feel like they’re about to stop as she says, “I don’t know.”

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Rose steps out of the TARDIS, tears falling and squeezes her eyes shut. Even in the early evening, everything is brighter, more vibrant and it’s overwhelming. She blinks for a few moments as she adjusts to the way the world looks now. Then she looks around and tries not to panic. Looking at the houses on the street around her, she tries to guess which Sarah Jane’s is.

Thankfully, she’s in luck when the woman she’s looking for appears in the driveway of the house beside her. Sarah Jane is smiling at her, about to speak, when her face falls and her brow furrows. Rose wonders how she must look to cause such a sudden shift in mood, but she can’t bring herself to care. Instead, she runs the short distance to the woman who once offered her support when she needed it. And right now, she needs it.

Sarah Jane’s arms are open, waiting by the time she reaches her, and Rose falls into them gratefully, sobbing quietly. It’s not quite the same as a hug from her mum, but there’s a hand rubbing her back, quiet reassuring murmurs and it feels like there’s somewhere, someone, safe.

“Rose?” Sarah Jane asks. It’s like the woman is checking her identity and Rose gasps, fresh tears falling as she nods. After the nod, Sarah Jane continues, “I won’t ask if you’re okay, it’s obvious you’re not. Do you want to come inside, and talk?”

Rose pulls back a bit, wiping her eyes as she nods, quietly saying, “Yeah.”

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, Sarah Jane leads her inside, through to the kitchen where she turns on the kettle and prepares a couple of mugs. Rose sits at the bench, watching quietly, trying to put her thoughts in order. She blinks when a steaming mug is placed in front of her and she mumbles her thanks. Sarah Jane seems to be giving her time and for that she’s grateful.

For a few minutes, they sit in silence, sipping their tea and she can feel Sarah Jane’s eyes on her. Rose waits and she hears the older woman take a deep breath.

“Rose, I know I told you to find me if you ever needed to. But I honestly didn’t think you ever would. The way the Doctor looked at you, I didn’t think he would ever leave you behind,” Sarah Janes says, with a quiet, not quite, laugh.

Rose looks up at her, eyes raw but tears still trying to fall and she says, “I, I don’t think he’s left me behind. I think... think if you look outside, he’s probably still there.”

There’s a slight frown on Sarah Jane’s face as she walks through to a window in the front room and looks out. Rose waits for her to return, not even blinking when she hears from the other room, “You’re right. He’s still there, standing beside the TARDIS.”

“I, I needed to get away,” Rose says, quiet sobs between the words she’s struggling to get out, “From... I had to get away, from him.”

She feels a hand on her shoulder and she looks around into Sarah Jane’s concerned eyes. Carefully, as if she worries Rose will startle, the woman sits down beside her and asks, “What happened, Rose?”

She takes a deep breath, not sure where to begin. Looking up at Sarah Jane, who offers her a small smile and nod, Rose lets the breath out and says, “Remember when we towed the Earth back? I’m not even sure how long ago that was. Think it’s only been about three weeks for me.”

“It’s been about two months since then. Only a week though, since the Master did, whatever it was he did,” Sarah Jane says and Rose knows the older woman is watching her, looking for a sign.

Eyes scrunching shut, Rose nods. “Yeah, I met him. Charming bloke,” she says with a wry smile, “Could’ve skipped that.”

Sarah Jane rubs her shoulder softly, saying, “I can imagine, though I would rather not. But, you were saying, about the day we towed Earth back?”

Suspecting Sarah Jane is trying to distract her from thoughts of the Master, Rose looks up and tries to give her a small smile. She’s pretty sure she fails and looks back at the bench. “It was after we dropped everyone off. You, Jack and Martha, and Mickey. The Doctor, the old, no young one,” she huffs, unsure how to explain, “the one in brown?”

When Sarah Jane nods in understanding, Rose continues, “The one in brown, he took us back to the other universe. And then,” she chokes out a sob, “he left us behind.”

She looks up and stares into the distance. Rose knows she wasn’t left behind. But, at the same time, she was. She still needs to understand why the Doctor left her, only to later come back. How much later it was for him, she’s still not sure, but that time between very obviously changed him. Whatever he did exactly, and she still needs to know what that was, can’t have been risk-free. There’s no way having two Doctors and two TARDISes so close together was safe.

Blinking, Rose comes back from her thoughts as Sarah Jane asks, “You’re here now, so he must have gone back for you?”

“He did,” Rose replies, “But not in the way you’re probably thinking. The Doctor in blue? That was the actual Doctor, the same one. From sometime in his own future.”

The story seems to just spill from her and Sarah Jane listens quietly, only occasionally prompting. Rose tells of the events on Bad Wolf Bay, the Doctor telling her she needs to stay there. How one had left and the other stayed. And so did his TARDIS. She smiles a little as she tells the older woman that he’d finally admitted he loves her.

Trying not to go into too many details, Rose confesses, blushing, that her relationship with the Doctor progressed quickly from there. She smiles a little as Sarah Jane points out her blush and that she doesn’t need to ask how he was. It’s a bit like talking to her mum, she thinks, thankful for the woman’s support.

Rose’s smile drops as she talks about the Doctor’s odd behaviour. She knows he’s always avoided questions he’s uncomfortable with. But, as she tells Sarah Jane, she still hasn’t forgotten the look on his face when she asked about the so-called metacrisis, or her bedroom. Or Donna. Sarah Jane nods and Rose knows she understands.

Explaining the events on Tanarus, she can see the horror on Sarah Jane’s face as she talks about the fact the Doctor let a building full of people explode. Rose understands the shock, that knowledge still bothers her. But she acknowledges, out loud, that she had been slightly afraid to bring it up with him. Not that she was given a chance afterwards, she admits. She tries to skip the details, but conveys the Doctor’s dominant and possessive attitude as he claimed her then. Especially in the moments after he discovered her injury.

Rose frowns a little, thinking. When she woke up the following day, she felt a little different but dismissed it. She mutters, asking herself if that’s when it might have happened. Sarah Jane watches, questioning, but lets Rose continue without interruption.

Rose quickly explains a peaceful, almost calm, mood seemed to settle over the Doctor following those events. Until the day she woke up in the TARDIS to find him gone. And to find herself locked in, and the ship out of time. Sarah Jane asks if this was about the Master and Rose nods as she continues. She still doesn’t entirely understand how she convinced the TARDIS to let her out, but she tells of how the Master caught her. The hints he dropped about how she wasn’t entirely human anymore. Eyes opening wide, Sarah Jane’s gaze runs over her and Rose bites her lip a little.

Taking a deep breath, she stands and paces slowly as she explains the Doctor’s fall and the confrontation between him, the Master, and the Time Lords. Rose can feel the tears building as she gets to the end, the moment when the old man knocks on the glass. Sarah Jane gasps as Rose explains how the Doctor stood there, ready to walk away and let the old man die. Rubbing her hands across her eyes, she explains how she had run into the booth and freed the man.   

“But,” Sarah Jane interrupts, “that much radiation would kill you.”

Swallowing, Rose whispers, “It did.”

She looks up to see the frown on Sarah Jane’s face as the woman says, “But… You seem to be fine. Physically, at least.”

“That’s ‘cause,” says Rose, stumbling over the words as she struggles not to cry, “‘Cause I... I regenerated. He, the Doctor, he _changed_ me. He went behind my back and made this huge decision and he didn’t ask. I didn’t _know_! I’m not, I’m not human anymore. I’m not sure I’m still _me_... And he didn’t tell me!”

Sarah Jane gasps and Rose can’t hold herself together any longer. The tears fall and the sobs escape as she collapses against a cupboard and slides to the floor.

Suddenly Sarah Jane’s arms are wrapping around her and Rose leans into her, crying. One hand strokes her hair and Sarah Jane whispers, “It’s okay, Rose. Let it out. It’s all right.”

Rose isn’t sure if it’s minutes or hours until the tears slow and the sobs stop, but she’s grateful for the comfort of the woman beside her. She stands up, trying to smile, and offers Sarah Jane a hand rising.

Trying to lighten the mood, Sarah Jane says, “So, you regenerated. Well, that does explain why you look a little different.”

Rose’s eyes open wide. She’s regenerated and it never even crossed her mind that she might look different now. “Didn’t even think about that. All the yelling, and trying to get away from him, and I didn’t even think about it,” she says, looking down at herself. Her jeans aren’t quite long enough, she realises.

Looking back at Sarah Jane, she asks, “You recognised me, yeah? Guess I can’t have changed that much.”

“You’re a little bit taller I think. You still look like the young woman I met, perhaps a little more mature now,” Sarah Jane replies with a smile, “Still Rose Tyler.”

“Thank you,” she says and tries to stifle a yawn. Rose fails, thankful when Sarah Jane stands and leads her upstairs. Minutes later, she’s being shown the guestroom and the bathroom, where to find towels and toiletries, and being told she’s welcome to stay as long as she needs. Rose smiles a little as she’s informed the Doctor will not be invited in until she’s ready to face him.

Impulsively, she hugs Sarah Jane, whispers a ‘thank you, so much’, and wishes her a good night, though, she thinks it might only be early evening. Smiling softly, the older woman finds her a t-shirt she can sleep in and wishes her a good sleep.

A short time later, Rose is curling up in the spare bed and it's not long before she sleeps, exhaustion claiming her.


	9. Chapter 9

Two days have passed. Forty-eight hours of a quiet, echoing TARDIS, of sitting in the console room, watching the monitor, or leaning against the outside of the ship. Two thousand, two hundred and twenty-eight minutes since Rose had walked out the doors and into Sarah Jane’s arms and house. It’s been two days and it feels like he’s been lifetime without Rose.  


Still, the Doctor waits, watching the monitor even now, desperate to just _see_ her.  


Two days. Rose has been gone two days and he can’t believe she hasn’t come to see him. She must know he’s still here, he’s seen the curtains flick enough to suspect she’s looked out more than once. But she never stays near the windows and she certainly hasn’t been outside. Well, not out the front, at least, near his TARDIS or him. He never thought she would ever leave him for this long. He expected to see her the morning after she left; walking into his ship, into his arms, and telling him they’re okay.  


When she didn’t, he thought she must have needed the day. It was a lot for her to deal with in one go. But, it soon became obvious she wasn’t planning to return that day. After much arguing and yelling, at the TARDIS, himself, the universe, everything but Rose, he decided that he would give her one more day. Twenty-four hours, no more.  


Those twenty four hours have been and gone. He sighs. Rose still hasn’t come home and everything, _everything_ , is so very wrong.  


He’s seen Sarah Jane and her son leave and return a few times. More than once he has been tempted to intercept Sarah Jane when she was going out or returning home. But the idea of dealing with her doesn’t appeal to him. There’s only one person he wants to talk to and if she’s not coming out, it’s past time for him to go in.  


His eyes open wide. Maybe Rose can’t come out. He glares. Maybe she’s hurt or trapped. What if she needs him? Trying to clear the images of Rose in pain, the Doctor knows, as much as he doesn’t like Sarah Jane right now, the woman wouldn’t hurt anyone. But it’s possible she’s convinced Rose it’s a bad idea to see him.  


It is definitely time to go in and talk to Rose. To bring her home. He needs her and she’s had _more_ than long enough.  


Sarah Jane is currently out, he knows, she and her son had left almost an hour ago. He doesn’t care where they went, that’s not important to him. He does care that it does mean Rose is inside, on her own.  


Intent on getting Rose back, having her in the TARDIS with him, where she is meant to be, the Doctor quickly slips out of his ship. He watches the house for a moment, not entirely sure, but worrying that if Rose sees him coming she might do something ridiculous, like run from him. She doesn’t need to, he thinks; he would never _ever_ hurt her. He ignores the small voice, pointing out he already has, and the image of her in tears and afraid, of him. Him! He scowls. She has to know he would never intentionally do anything like that, right?  


Rose has to know she belongs to him, like he belongs to her. He will protect her, keep her safe, keep her with him, always, and it’s past time for him to remind her of that.  


Reaching the front door, he uses the sonic to unlock it, slipping inside quickly and quietly. He glances around the front room and then breathes deeply through his nose. Rose is upstairs and it’s all he can do not to call for her. Trying not to make too much noise, not wanting to startle her, the Doctor heads up the stairs and towards the only closed door. The one he knows she is behind.  


He stands in front of the door, taking a moment, trying to subdue the urge to just pick Rose up and take her home. To show her where she belongs. Feeling like he can control himself, the Doctor turns the handle and opens the door.  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


Rose looks up from her seat on the bed as she hears the door open. She furrows her brow; she hasn’t heard Sarah Jane’s car return. But then, she’s been so intent on blocking out all the new noise around her, maybe she missed it. Opening her mouth she’s about to say she’s okay, she doesn’t need anything and thanks for asking.  


Her mouth snaps shut and she glares. Instead of the woman she expected, the Doctor steps into the room.  


“What the fuck, are _you_ doing here?” she yells, standing and stepping back as he steps forward.  


“Never mind what I’m doing here,” says the Doctor, moving closer, frown in place and growling, “What the hell are you doing here, _still_?”  


Backing into the wall, Rose swallows down the rising panic and straightens up, gathering her strength. She won’t let him brush off her concerns anymore. “I’m still here, because, like I told you, I can’t be around you right now!”  


Rose watches his every movement, ready to push herself from the wall and run if she needs too, while he shuffles a little closer as he says, “You’ve had two days. Two whole days. For forty-eight hours I’ve left you alone and I have waited! Respecting your choice, like you asked. What more do you need?”  


“You think _this_ is respecting my wish to be left alone?” she yells, pushing off the wall, fists clenching as she tries not to swing at him. “You think that all this is _so_ simple? That I’ll just forgive you… A couple of days and I’ll be ‘happy Rose’, that I’ll forget what you did to me. Forget the choices you took away from me? Forget the things you did, the people you let die. The man you were going to walk away from!”  


“Rose,” the Doctor says, raising his hands, trying to placate her. She narrows her eyes and he swallows before continuing, “I’m sorry I changed you, without asking. But I am not sorry I did so. It needed to be done, and I, you, it couldn’t wait any longer.”  


She raises an eyebrow, asking, “It couldn’t wait for one more day? Wait for you to talk to me about it?” When he opens his mouth to respond, she cuts him off, “No, I don’t want excuses. Tell me. Tell me honestly, if you can even do that anymore, if you had asked and I’d said no... Would you have accepted my choice?”  


To Rose, his silence speaks volumes.  


“Right,” she says simply. “That, right there, Doctor, that’s why I’m still here.”  


“What do you mean?” he asks and she almost laughs at his apparent confusion.  


“You would ignore my decision, my choice! And you have to ask what I mean?” says Rose, before mumbling, “Genius, hah!”  


He frowns and she knows he heard her mumbling, but he answers her question. “The only time I would disregard your choice, Rose, is if it’s important. Sometimes, I will know better.”  


She raises an eyebrow. “No, no!” she exclaims, “You do not ever, _ever_ , get to ignore my choices. I don’t care if you think you know better, when it comes to my life, I make the decisions. Not you!” She sighs. “Until, ‘til you can respect that, that and me…” she trails off.  


“I do respect you, Rose. I do,” the Doctor says, frowning as she snorts, “What?”  


Rose shakes her head, saying, “No, you don’t. You say it, but if you did, I’d be able to trust you.” She swipes at the tears she can feel forming. “But, I can’t. I can’t trust you and if I can’t trust you, I can’t stay with you.”  


“Of course you can trust me!” he says, stepping forward and taking her hand, his eyes begging her. Rose slips her hand from his and moves out of his reach.  


“Really?” she asks, crossing her arms. “Will you tell me the truth, then?”  


The Doctor nods. “Always, Rose.”  


Her lips twist. He says that, Rose thinks, but she has her doubts. As much as she hopes, wishes, needs, for it to be true, to be able to trust him again, she doesn’t believe him. She can’t lie to herself; she misses him and wishes she could be back on the TARDIS. She wants to be back in his arms, back where she feels at home.  


Taking a deep breath, Rose says, “I should’ve made you talk to me earlier. I should’ve. But I was, just, so happy to be home. Home, in the TARDIS. With you.” She ignores his smile at her referring to the TARDIS, and him, as home. “And I thought that if I waited, just a little while, you’d open up. But you didn’t. There was always something more important, more interesting. Doctor, I want you... No, I _need_ you to tell me the truth, now. Please.”  


He doesn’t say anything, but he nods. She waits until he looks at her, frowning a little when he keeps his face blank.  


Rose huffs a little, saying, “There’s so much I need to know. Not sure what to ask first.” Pausing for a moment, she considers all the things she needs him to tell her and decides to start somewhere simple. “Okay, tell me this; why were you so set on keeping me out of _my_ old room? And don’t give me that shit about fumigating.”  


There’s a small smile on his face, which makes her curious, as he replies, “Two reasons. One, I really did just want you in my room, well, my bed really. With me.” She nods, understanding the desire to be close. “The other reason, well… My spare hand, the one I siphoned all my regeneration energy into? I needed somewhere safe to put it. Because, because that energy was, that was what I, that was how you... changed. I put it in your old room because, _no one_ , even me, would find it there. And to answer the next question, I gave the energy to you after, after Tanarus.”  


As he explains, Rose begins to understand that, whatever he did to get her back, at the same time he was already working to find a way to ‘fix’ her. There’s a small part of her that’s finds it reassuring that what he did wasn’t just a spur of the moment action, but something he truly wanted to happen. That he wanted her with him for _his_ life, not just hers. But it will never, ever excuse the fact that he chose for her.  


Rose frowns. If the energy went to her, then what really happened to Donna, she wonders. He’s being honest right now, so maybe, just maybe he’s listening to her.  


“Okay, then what happened to Donna?” she asks. Her small flicker of hope dies as she watches his face close off again.  


“She went home,” the Doctor states, hands sliding into his pockets and looking over her shoulder.  


Rose growls, “Yeah, I got that. What happened? ‘Cause that so-called ‘Metacrisis’ was bullshit.”  


Pulling his hands back out of his pockets he grabs her shoulders and leans close asking, “What does it matter? Why do you need to know? Will knowing make any difference?”  


“Don’t touch me,” she says, shoving him away, “It matters because nothing, _none_ of it, makes sense! I need to know because you’re so different and I don’t trust you, not anymore. You promised me the truth, and you still, you still can’t give it to me. Why should I believe _any_ promise you make, if you can’t even keep a simple one?”  


“Rose, sometimes I know best. I’m trying to protect you. Please, just let it go,” he pleads.  


Pointing to the door, Rose takes a breath and quietly, calmly says, “Until you’re ready to tell me the truth, you need to leave. Me. Alone.”  


“No,” the Doctor says, moving to grab her hand and scowling, “I won’t. Rose, it’s time for you to come home."  


“Stop it!” she yells, backing away as tears form, “Get the hell out!”  


She feels like his prey when he steps towards her, his eyes dark, movements tightly controlled. Rose almost sobs in relief as she hears a comforting voice say, “Doctor, I do believe you were told to get out of my house.”  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


The Doctor whips around, glaring at Sarah Jane. He yells, “Stay out of this!”  


Looking decidedly unimpressed with him, she crosses her arms and says, “You’re in my house, yelling at my guest. No, Doctor, I will not stay out of this.”  


Not moving an inch, he watches as Sarah Jane moves around him, gathering Rose in her arms. He growls as he watches his old companion offer his Rose comfort. Comfort he should be giving, no one else.  


“Sarah, let her go,” he snarls, fighting the urge to rip Rose from her arms.  


Offering Rose one last whisper, so quiet even he can’t hear it, Sarah Jane walks over to him and frowns. “It’s time for you to leave, Doctor. Now.”  


He laughs, not even trying to hide his derision as he asks, “Are _you_ going to make me, Sarah Jane?”  


“Oh no, I know I couldn’t make you do anything,” she replies, calmly. “But I have easy ways to contact both UNIT and Torchwood.” He snorts; neither worries him. “But before I call them, I want you to look over at that young woman. _Really_ look at her, and then, then make your decision.”  


Smirk shifting into a frown, he looks over at Rose. The Doctor feels his hearts clench at the sight of her, sitting against the wall, arms wrapped around her knees, and watching. He can hear her breath hitching as she tries to stop her sobs and see the tears escaping her eyes, rolling down her cheeks. But what really stops him in his tracks is the way she looks at him, with such complete and utter disappointment. He’s only seen that look from her once before, just once. And he had promised, himself at least, never again would she have that look in her eyes.  


“Oh, Rose,” he whispers, “I’m sorry.”  


He stands and stares at Rose. He feels like he’s missing something. Like Rose isn’t giving him some vital piece of information, that piece which will explain why she can’t just come home. That will explain why she doesn’t think she can trust him. Everything he’s done since his trip to Mars has been for her. To save her, protect her, make her happy. But, as she’s not going to share it with him if he tries forcing her, for now, he’ll retreat and regroup. Find a new plan.  


The Doctor sighs, turning to leave the room. As he moves through the doorway, he hears Rose whisper, ‘Doctor, I miss you’ but he doesn’t think it was meant for him. Walking down the stairs, he’s aware of Sarah Jane following him.  


Glancing up, over his shoulder, he asks, “Are you going to escort me to my TARDIS, Sarah?”  


Nodding, she replies, “Yes. Best to ensure you make it home, Doctor.”  


Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, he finishes descending the stairs and passes through the front room where her son, Luke, sits and watches with them pass with wide, curious eyes. He sniffs, barely acknowledging the boy. He hears Sarah Jane ask Luke to make some tea and take a cup up to Rose. The boy hurries into the kitchen and the Doctor smiles a little. At least they’re taking care of his Rose, even if he’d rather do that himself.  


Stepping out the front door, he heads over to his TARDIS, Sarah Jane following. When he reaches his ship, the Doctor turns and looks at her. He’s aware she has more to say to him and, while he’ll probably ignore most of it, it won’t do any harm to listen.  


Sarah Jane looks around him, at the ship before turning back to him and asking, “Are you going to stay, parked out here, as long as Rose stays with me?”  


He nods firmly. “Yes. Wherever, whenever, Rose is. I will always, _always_ be there too. I will not leave her.”  


“Right. Then, let me make this clear, Doctor,” Sarah Jane says, crossing her arms and frowning slightly. “You, you are not welcome to set foot inside my house without a direct invitation from me, or Rose.”  


“Since when?” the Doctor asks, trying to cover his mild shock and rather less mild annoyance.  


“Since that young woman came to me, her heart, should I say, _hearts_ broken and in tears and desperate for somewhere she would feel safe.”  


He scowls at Sarah Jane, some part of him panicking because she’s right and the other part angry. He snaps out, “Rose is always safe with me. I will _never_ let any harm come to her.”  


Sarah Jane just says, “Physically, I don’t doubt you, Doctor. But Rose, Rose doesn’t _feel_ safe, not with you. Not right now.”  


The Doctor opens his mouth and slams it shut, thinking. He wants to argue with Sarah Jane, but Rose’s reaction to him just now, and the sight of her, just before she left the TARDIS stops him.  


“Fine,” he grinds out, “Though, if I felt that I needed to gain access, do you honestly think _you_ could keep me out, Sarah?”  


“Doctor, I know I can’t keep you out, not really,” Sarah Jane says, shaking her head and letting out a small, sharp laugh. “But if you try to enter without an invitation, even just try, I will call UNIT. Or Torchwood.”  


He smirks. “Is that supposed to scare me? They know nothing about how to stop a Time Lord.”  


Sighing, Sarah Janes says, “With everything that has happened in the past few years, do you really think that? The Master was Prime Minister! Though, I don’t know all the details, I suspect there was more to that story than the world saw. It’s also been less than two weeks, two weeks Doctor, since the Master took over everyone. UNIT might work have worked with you in the past, but do not assume they’ve left themselves completely vulnerable to Time Lords. And you should remember, Torchwood, they spent over a century learning what they could about you, even if the organisation is now run by a friend.”  


Narrowing his eyes, he focuses on Sarah Jane, unable to really believe the woman who was once his treasured companion and friend would threaten him. Because everything she said was just that. A threat, a warning, and one the Doctor didn’t doubt.  


“Do you understand, Doctor?” Sarah Jane asks.  


He manages to snap out a simple, “Yes.”  


Sarah Jane nods and he watches as she turns, walking back to her house and stepping inside. To the Doctor, the quiet click of the lock seems to echo, like the sound of a wall dropping into place between himself and Rose. He growls, his frustration growing with the seemingly ever increasing number of obstacles between himself and Rose.  


Slamming his hand on the door of his ship, the Doctor sighs loudly and pushes the door open. Flicking on the monitor, he sits down on the jump seat and watches time pass, waiting to see Rose again.  


Because he will wait, as long as it takes. Forever if he must. What he said to Sarah Jane was true; no matter where or when Rose is, he will always be there as well.  


After asking the TARDIS to let him know if Rose appears on the monitor, the Doctor wanders into the depths of his ship, paying no attention to his destination. He loses himself in his thoughts. He arrives at their bedroom - it hasn’t been his since the moment he led her through the doorway and inside, and he looks around, clenching his jaw to stop himself from screaming. Some of her clothes are still crumpled on the floor, the bed is still a mess, and all he can think is of the last time they were both here. Before it had gone so very wrong. He goes to pick up the scattered mess and instead ends up sitting on the bed, trying to work out how to make the room feel like home again.  


Resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, he sighs. He knows the only way his room, even his _ship_ , their ship, will feel like home again is to have Rose here with him again.  


The next days, and some part of him notes the tick of each passing minute, seem to drag by. An oppressive silence falls over the TARDIS, even her natural hum seems to fade. The rooms seem to lose all colour, and light, and vibrancy. The Doctor finds no joy in anything. He goes back to spending nearly all his time watching the monitor or standing outside, watching the house. His few moments of slight relief are when he sees Rose. Occasionally, when he stands outside, he glimpses her watching him from the windows. He tries to smile, but even if he manages, it seems to make no impression on her.  


Sometimes, Rose sits outside. During the day she reads and at night, she stargazes, a thoughtful, sometimes slightly lost expression on her face. Sarah Jane often joins her for a few minutes, but he can tell Rose doesn’t speak much. He had tried, the first time he saw her outside at night, to join her. But she had quickly stood up and moved back inside. It had been almost impossible for him to not chase her, every instinct screaming for him to bring her back.  


Every now and then, he catches her looking at the TARDIS, and the Doctor is sure it’s longing in her eyes. It gives him a little hope, not much, but enough to keep him from doing something too stupid. It gives him hope that she will come home soon. Hope that he won’t have to wait forever for her.  


The part of his mind ticking off the minutes tells him, as Rose steps out Sarah Jane’s front door, that it’s been six thousand, seven hundred and forty-four minutes since he last spoke to her. Normally he’d just add that to the collection of minutes he associates with Rose and her trips outside, but this time, it’s different. Instead of the hand-me-downs she’s been wearing, she’s back in her slightly too short jeans and hoodie from the day she walked out of the TARDIS and away from him.  


The Doctor puts his hands on the console, and watches as Rose looks to the TARDIS and gathers herself. Looking determined, she takes a deep breath and begins moving the direction of their ship. Holding his breath the Doctor hopes for a knock on the door, disappointment seeping in as she hesitates briefly near their ship but keeps walking, head held high.  


Frowning, he realises Rose is walking down the street, nearing the corner. She’s going somewhere and he’s not with her. “No, no, no,” the Doctor mutters. He grabs his coat, pulling it on as he runs out the door and after her.


	10. Chapter 10

Sitting with her back against the wall, Rose looks up, tears falling, as Sarah Jane leads the Doctor out of the room. She hears them walking down the stairs, hears Sarah Jane ask Luke to bring her some tea, and hears them open and close the front door. When there’s a quiet knock on the bedroom door and Luke looks in, tea in hand, she stands and tries to offer the boy a smile. He seems to understand her mumbled thanks as she takes the tea and he gives her a small smile as he leaves the room.  


Rose is sipping her tea and looking out a window at the TARDIS when Sarah Jane returns. She can’t decide whether to ask about the conversation between her and the Doctor. She had watched as they talked, seen the anger and frustration on his face as Sarah Jane spoke. When she feels a hand on her shoulder, she turns to the older woman and tries to smile. She lets herself be sat down on the edge of the bed as she’s given the gist of what happened outside. She frowns, whatever’s happened to the Doctor, a promise like the one he gave to Sarah Jane, that he will always be here, feels suffocating now. Once, she admits, she would have wished for it, more than anything.  


Sarah Jane passes her an older style mobile phone but before Rose can ask, she explains that it contains contact numbers for both UNIT and Torchwood. Feeling slightly confused, she asks why she would want them. As Sarah Jane explains her own threat to the Doctor, Rose almost wants to smile a little. She does let herself smile as she realises she now has means to contact Jack and Mickey. Impulsively, she hugs the older woman and begins to make plans for the following days.  


In the end, it takes Rose until the following night to leave the house and she only makes it as far as the garden bench. For a while, she watches the stars, but when she hears the TARDIS doors open and the Doctor’s footsteps she stands. She glances at him before turning around and heading back toward the house as he walks over. His steps slow and stop. It _almost_ breaks her heart to see the way his face falls as she steps inside and closes the door. Hearts, she reminds herself, and suddenly, she’s nowhere near sorry for him. Just angry. Again.  


For the next few days, the pattern continues. Rose sees him standing outside the TARDIS, trying to smile up at her through the window. A smile she can’t bring herself to return yet. When she sits outside, he watches her, no longer trying to move close, just standing against his ship. A silent guardian she doesn’t want, doesn’t need. But she’s not ready to go over and have another fight, even if she thought he might actually listen. She sighs; she doesn’t think there’s even a small chance of him listening to her yet.  


After almost a week with Sarah Jane, Rose decides that it’s time to go out and do some shopping. She’s been living in old, spare clothes that don’t quite fit and certainly aren’t her style, but thankful for somewhere to stay, somewhere she feels safe, she didn’t see any reason to complain. But the day before, Sarah Jane had left her some money, explaining it was a gift, and suggested Rose go out and find some clothes that fit. It had been said kindly, with a bit of a cheeky grin as Sarah Jane pointedly glanced at the pants Rose wore. Looking down at the two or three inches of her legs poking out the bottom, she can’t help but agree.  


Sliding on her old jeans and hoodie, Rose is quickly ready to head out. She walks to the front door and tries to calm her rapidly beating hearts. Opening the door, she looks towards the TARDIS, relieved when the Doctor isn’t in sight.  


Holding her head high, she starts walking. It’s hard, she finds, not giving in to the urge to walk to the TARDIS. And back into the Doctor’s arms. She can’t let herself, because if she lets him get away with something this large and important, he’ll decide he can get away with anything. No matter how much she loves him, Rose knows she can’t live like that. _They_ can’t live like that.  


Rose manages to walk past the ship without running, just. She makes it to the street corner before she hears the TARDIS doors open and the Doctor step out.  


Her shoulders slump a little. Though she suspected that he would see her walking by, Rose had hoped that he’d let her go alone, but apparently not. She barely glances at him as he steps up beside her and she completely ignores his hand, hanging by his side, so close to her own. Not quite trusting herself, she quickly slips her hands into the pockets of her hoodie. She walks briskly to the nearby Tube station, the Doctor a few steps behind her.  


Sitting down for the short trip into London, Rose watches the Doctor and hopes that his behaviour during the ride isn’t an indication of what’s to come. A few hours with him nearby, glaring at everyone who moves within six feet of her and not so subtly moving between her and every nearby male will get old, very quickly.  


A little while later Rose is sighing as the shop manager asks her and her ‘boyfriend’ to please leave the store. The Doctor is apparently making some other customers uncomfortable. It seems his behaviour on the train was only a small part of what was to come.  


As the weekend arrives, Rose sits in her room at Sarah Jane’s, head resting in her hands as she tries to decide what to do. Every time she tries to go out, seconds after she steps out the front door, the Doctor steps out of the TARDIS. Though he rarely speaks, he’ll follow her everywhere she goes. He is her own personal storm, riding on her shoulder, keeping people away from her. She’s well aware of the glares he throws at people who come too close, the way he almost attacks anyone who bumps into her. And she certainly hasn’t missed the growls from his direction when someone watches her just a little too long.  


She wants a night out. She wants some fun. Some time to forget the problems and the hurt that’s settling into a small ball at the bottom of her chest. Moving over to the wardrobe, Rose opens the doors. Staring in at the small collection of clothes she managed to buy around the Doctor getting them kicked out of half the shops in London, she sighs. Thankfully, she has one outfit that’s suitable for a night out, but as she walks to the bathroom there’s a frown forming on her face.  


The Doctor will follow her, she knows that, and it does worry her. It’s not that she’s scared for herself. Aside from the moments when he’s tried to make her go home, she hasn’t been scared for herself. Some part of her _knows_ that he won’t harm her, that she has no need to fear him. But, she has real fear _for_ him, and for others. Rose isn’t sure anyone else is safe with him around, especially if he thinks she might be in any danger. She’s _so_ tired, though, of letting his behaviour stop her from doing what she enjoys.  


Rose showers, admitting to herself the possible consequences of going out for the night. She can relax and have fun, but she’s going to need to keep an eye on the Doctor while she does it. But still, it’s worth it, she thinks, for the opportunity to forget, just for a little while, how much of a mess things are right now.  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


When he’d seen Rose leave Sarah Jane’s house wearing tight new jeans and a flowing tank top that showed just a bit of cleavage, the Doctor had struggled to squash his instincts. Well, one instinct, the one screaming at him to go outside, grab her, and carry her back into the TARDIS. It had been a close call; he’d almost given in, but he managed to settle for following her, once again, into London.  


For a brief time after he’d trailed her into the club, everything was okay. He wasn’t happy, but Rose seemed to be. She’d enjoyed a drink and brushed off a couple of admirers before she’d decided to dance. Now, watching the scene play out on the dance floor in front of him, the Doctor growls; he should have listened to his instincts and taken her back to the TARDIS.  


Rose is dancing, her hips swaying and she seems to be losing herself in the music. For a while, his presence nearby keeps the idiots away, but too soon for his liking, one is heading her direction, intent on dancing with her. The Doctor glares, not taking his eyes off the bastard who moves in closer. He steps forward and she finally looks over at him, but instead of looking like she needs help, she’s glaring at him. Even he understands the hint to stay away. Crossing his arms, he stops, standing on the edge of the crowded floor and waiting.  


The music changes, slowing down a little, and the couples dancing move closer. He narrows his eyes as the man with Rose pulls her closer and she tenses. One of the bastard’s hands moves down her back and when it reaches the waistband of her low cut jeans, the Doctor refuses to wait any longer and he moves, fast.  


Barely a second passes before he’s grabbing the arm of the man and ripping him away from Rose. Leaning close, his jaw clenching, the Doctor spits out, “She is. Mine.”  


He glares at the bastard, waiting until the man looks away before he lets go. He turns to grab Rose and take her outside, whether she’s ready to leave or not, but she’s already gone. Looking over the crowd, he sees a flash of blonde heading out a side exit. He quickly follows, wanting to know what she thinks she’s doing, letting someone else, a man, get _that_ close to her.  


Stepping out the door, he stops, the door slamming shut behind him. Rose is waiting in the alley, arms folded, and almost as angry as he’s ever seen her. Stepping towards him, she says, “I am _not_ yours. Not now. And...”  


The Doctor frowns, wondering what she means. He looks at her, standing strong and holding herself together, some small voice telling him she’s taller than she once was. Briefly, he wonders if that voice means physically or emotionally but knows it doesn’t matter. Pushing those thoughts away, to deal with later, he pays attention as she continues talking.  


“Maybe, maybe never again,” she finishes and with those words it feels like all the air has just been stolen from him.  


“Why?” he asks, feeling like the ground is falling out from under him.  


“Why?” she asks, letting out a short humourless laugh. “You’re asking me why? D’you listen to anything I say? I’ve told you. More than once! I. Do not. Trust you. At all. You try to control my life, my decisions. Feels like you’re trying to control everything. You can’t. It, it just, it doesn’t work that way. I-”  


Gently, the Doctor places his hand on her shoulder and says, “Rose, please.”  


Rose shuts her eyes for a moment and he can feel her taking a deep breath. Her eyes open again as she says, “It’s not even just that. I still remember what you did, on Tanarus. An entire building, Doctor, and you, you didn’t even check for anyone else. And Wilf-” he opens his mouth, to try and explain, but she talks over him “-you were gonna leave him. Leave that old man, who did _nothing_ to you, you were leaving him to die!” She sighs, rubbing at her eyes.  


“Rose. I… You don’t…” he says, struggling to find the words, “It’s not that simple.”  


“This, _you_ ,” she says, gesturing at the whole of him, “You’re not _my_ Doctor. Not the one I, the one I love. Don’t know who _you_ are. But, if you see him... If you see my Doctor, can you bring him back, to me? Please.”  


At her plea, his hands drop from her shoulders and the Doctor almost falls backwards as he moves away. The words, her words, running through his mind on a loop; ‘not my Doctor’ and ‘don’t know who you are’ and ‘bring him back’, tumbling around, each repetition breaking his hearts just a bit more. ‘Not my Doctor’ starts drowning out the rest of what she’s said. Over and over and over again it repeats and he stops seeing the world around him. Even Rose fades from his sight; all that’s left is an emptiness he doesn’t know how to face.  


“Rose,” he whispers, finally focussing. “I’m. I...”  


He trails off as he realises the space where she stood is empty and he can hear her footsteps nearing the end of the alley. He turns, watching as she glances over her shoulder at him, and he can see the tears on her cheeks. Following her, he realises quickly that Rose doesn’t want him beside her. Every time he nears her, she increases her speed, almost running to stay ahead of him.  


The Doctor wants to talk to her, to shout at her until she understands, to fall to his knees in front of her and beg. For her return, her forgiveness, her acceptance, he isn’t sure, but he would try anything if only she’d come back to him. Knowing she isn’t going to listen, he settles, for now, for following as closely as she’ll allow. It’s nowhere near as close as he wants to be, it hasn’t been since the moment she walked out of the TARDIS.  


But even as he trails behind, watching over her, he continues to dwell on Rose’s words, twisting them around, trying to understand. From the moment they met, he’s been hers, and maybe there were times she might have doubted that, he knows. But since he got her back, since he brought her home, the Doctor is sure he’s been showing her that as much as she is his, he is hers, in every way.  


Stepping onto the train, he frowns as Rose moves to the other end of the carriage and sits near a group of young men. He doesn’t think she notices, but he’s aware of the way they’re looking at her. Moving closer, but staying behind, he positions himself in their line of sight and watches them. As they notice him, they quickly quiet down and look away from her and the Doctor switches his focus back to Rose. The sad and lost look on her face pulls at him and he almost forgets she doesn’t want him near.  


Her words, though, her words stop him. For some reason Rose doesn’t think he’s the Doctor. Not her Doctor. It’s not that he’s unaware he’s been a little bit different since she returned. But he is still the Doctor and he wonders why she can’t see that. He violently squashes down the little voice in the back of his mind that’s asking him why he’s so sure she isn’t right.  


He _is_ the Doctor, her Doctor, and he _will_ find a way to make Rose understand.  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


As she steps inside Sarah Jane’s house and shuts the door, Rose leans back against it and sighs. The Doctor had walked behind her the entire way back, quickly working out to stay back, but never far enough away that she could forget his presence.  


When she had sat on the train, she knows the men she sat near were looking at her, making comments. Rose was surprised when he settled for simply glaring at them; some part of her had been expecting much worse. It’s ridiculous, all things considered, but when he’s around, she does feel a bit safer. At least, everything else feels less dangerous, less scary, when he’s watching over her. Unfortunately, she can’t trick herself into believing the Doctor himself is safe.  


Sliding down the door, Rose wraps her arms around her bent legs and rests her head on her knees. There have been glimpses of her Doctor, but they’re so few and so small that she thinks it’s possible she’s imagined those moments. She lets out a little half laugh; it’s sadly funny that he’s at his most recognisable when he’s being a jealous git. At least the jealousy hasn’t changed, even if his reactions to it have.  


Rose closes her eyes and rests her head back against the door. How can he be so smart, but so utterly… _stupid_? How many ways can she explain, what words does she need to use to make him understand that she doesn’t trust him. That while she knows he’s still _hers_ , she doesn’t think he’s still the Doctor she knew.  


And why can’t she have some time, to learn about who she is now. Thanks to him. Rose roughly wipes away the tear that’s escaped, not wanting to cry over him again.  


“Rose?” asks Sarah Jane, walking down the stairs.  


“I think,” Rose says, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I think I need to get away for a bit.”  


Sarah Jane nods and, heading into the kitchen, asks, “Tea? And we can talk about it.”  


Rose stands, collecting herself before following the other woman into the kitchen. Minutes later they’re sipping their tea and she says, “I’m grateful, for everything you’ve done for me, I really am. But, I can’t stay. Not with him always, always here.”  


“You’re welcome, Rose,” replies Sarah Jane, “But, I do understand. You need some time to understand, what’s happening to you.”  


Nodding, Rose offers a small smile. She knew Sarah Jane would understand, the older woman was very much like her Mum that way. To stop the feeling of longing at the thought of her Mum, Rose sips her tea. After she feels a little more in control she says, “I do. And he… I’m glad, glad-” she huffs, “-he hasn’t left, but, but I need to be away from him.”  


“First thing tomorrow, we’ll get you to the station and headed away,” Sarah Jane says.  


“I, I’m not sure that’ll work,” Rose says, frowning. “Gonna need a way to leave, without him seeing. ‘Cause, if he does. If he does, he’ll just follow me.”  


She can almost see the wheels turning in Sarah Jane’s mind and can’t help but quirk her lips at the idea. Rose sips her tea, not wanting to distract Sarah Jane. Instead she considers her options. With many people assuming Rose Tyler is dead, there aren’t a lot of choices. She rolls her eyes, realising she’s forgotten the obvious.  


“Jack, Jack Harkness,” Rose says and waits for Sarah Jane to look at her, “You gave me that old phone, so maybe we could call him, yeah?”  


Sarah Jane smiles and nods, saying, “I do. And yes, I think you’re correct. If anyone can sneak you out under the Doctor’s nose, he’s the likely choice.”  


Finishing up her tea, Rose waits as Sarah Jane picks up her phone and dials an oddly short number. Listening to each ring, it feels to her like time slows down. She tries to squash the rising panic, the worry that maybe Jack would rather stay out of it, that maybe he’s angry with her. Maybe, maybe he’d rather help the Doctor. Taking a deep breath, she wills herself to calm down.  


All the questions and the maybes continue to taunt her though, only stopping when she hears that familiar voice. For once, her new and improved hearing seems like a good thing. She can hear Jack over the phone, saying, “Sarah Jane Smith, to what do I owe the honour?”  


“Jack Harkness, possible captain,” Sarah Jane says with a smile, and Rose can’t stop her matching grin. “Current head of Torchwood Three-” Rose bites her lip, trying to ignore the niggling worry about this universe’s Torchwood, “-I have someone here who wants to talk to you.”  


Taking the phone from Sarah Jane, Rose takes one more breath and quietly says, “Hi, Jack. I…”  


“Rosie!” Jack exclaims, interrupting. The joy in his voice reassures her, that at least he doesn’t hate her. “I wasn’t expecting to hear from you for a while, especially not with those lovely Doctors around.”  


Rose chokes back a sob and at Jack’s quiet, ‘Rose, what’s wrong?’ she tells him of her last few weeks. She doesn’t go into detail, just offers him the short version, culminating in the events of the night and the way things currently are.  


“Oh, Rose,” Jack says, “What can I do to help?”  


Smiling properly for what feels like the first time since she stepped out of the TARDIS, Rose is relieved and explains to him her need to get away from the Doctor for a while.

Jack offers her a place to stay before she even asks. Cardiff might not be her first choice, but with Jack and Mickey there, she can’t think of anywhere better. Their discussion turns to the one large complication; how to get Rose away without attracting the Doctor’s attention.  


When Jack says it would be much easier if he could get his Vortex manipulator working, Rose quickly interrupts him, asking what needs fixing. She might not be a genius, but she played her part in building the Dimension Cannon, and between her and Mr Smith, a Vortex manipulator should be an easy fix, even over the phone. Rose and Mr Smith work together to quickly find the required teleport base code, while Jack and Mickey sort out a small power problem. Within a few minutes, it’s fixed and ready to go.  


Just before midnight, Rose finishes packing a bag, and hugs Sarah Jane before standing near the middle of the room, all the furniture pushed to the sides. Unable to stand still, she’s practically jumping on the spot as they wait for Jack’s arrival.  


There’s an unpleasant sensation, an odd tingling that precedes his arrival by seconds. Grimacing, Rose watches as there’s a bright flash and Jack appears. There’s something odd about his presence, like he doesn’t quite fit in with the world surrounding him, but he rushes over and she doesn’t care. She giggles as he scoops her up into a hug, whispering, “Rose Tyler, you’re a sight for old eyes.”  


“Jack Harkness,” she says, smiling, “Been hoping we could catch up.”  


Jack puts her back on her feet, grabs her bag off the floor, and smiles. Rose can’t help but grin back as he asks, “Ready to get this show on the road?”  


Running to Sarah Jane, Rose hugs her once more, whispering her thanks and apologising in advance for any problems her departure might cause. The other woman rubs her back, telling her it’s all right and not to worry.  


Taking her hand, Jack directs it to the Vortex manipulator but doesn’t hit the button as Sarah Jane promises to let them know if the Doctor moves. Rose nods gratefully, turns to Jack, and says, “Ready.”  


Space bends, time curves, and Rose feels the universe move.  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


After Rose’s night out, after he’d seen her safely back to Sarah Jane’s, after she’d closed the door and he’d heard the click of the lock, the Doctor had returned to the TARDIS. Her words still turned themselves over in his mind, but more than that, he couldn’t stop thinking of her face, her eyes, as she pleaded with him to find _her_ Doctor.  


Sometimes, he finds it so amazing how much emotion Rose seems hold, all at once. As she had fought back tears, he could see her sadness and anger, her need and desperation, and behind all of it, he could see the love driving her, even now.  


The Doctor loses track of time, a rare occurrence for him, but as he circles the console, he’s unaware of it. He begins walking the empty corridors of their ship, his thoughts playing back the moments with Rose. But for each smile he remembers, he can’t help but see her more recent tears and for each laugh, he remembers her angry shouts. By the time he sets foot back in the console room, it feels like he’s replayed every moment they’ve ever had together and they’re not enough. He needs Rose.  


Stopping in front of the monitor, time starts reasserting itself for him and he frowns. It’s been almost three full days since he last saw Rose and according to the lack of TARDIS alarms, there’s been no sign of her. At all.  


The Doctor strides to the door of the ship, pulling them open and throwing wide all his senses. He lets out a loud growl as every sense tells him Rose isn’t nearby. Same planet and same time, he can tell, but not where she _should_ be. Where he knows and where he can watch over her.  


Storming over to the house, the Doctor’s using his sonic on the lock before he’s even half way to the door. Slamming the door open, he sees Sarah Jane standing half way down the stairs with a frown on her face.  


Before she can speak, he narrows his eyes and he can see her flicker of fear. Not bothering to hide his anger, the Doctor asks, “Where. Is. Rose?”

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose fills Jack in on what's been happening, and the Doctor gets frustrated.

The universe rights itself and Rose lets go of Jack’s arm. Bending over and resting her hands on her knees, she glances at him and says, “Not the smoothest ride, Jack.”  


“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” Jack quips in a bad accent, smiling when she starts giggling.  


Rose can’t help but be grateful. For Jack’s help in getting away, for his endless support, and, most of all, she’s grateful for the fact he makes her feel lighter. And he still makes some of the worst jokes ever.  


Maybe she won’t have long until the Doctor figures out where she is. Rose knows between him and the TARDIS, if she gets a week without him hovering over her shoulder, she’ll be doing well. Hopefully, the time she has will help. Maybe when she sees him next, she’ll know some way to get through to him. Maybe he’ll be ready to really, _really_ listen to her. And maybe he’ll even be ready to understand why she’s upset.

Rose lets out a half laugh, half sob and sighs, “Yeah, right.”  


“Rosie?” Jack asks and she can see the worry he’s trying to hide, for her sake, she thinks. “Are you okay?”  


“I’m really, really not,” she says, taking his extended hand, always grateful, for Jack’s support.  


Before she can say another word, Jack is wrapping his arms around her and holding her while she sobs. She tries to stop the tears, feeling like she’s cried enough to last a lifetime. Stilling in his arms, she frowns, pulling back enough to wipe away the tears. Lifetime seems like an entirely different concept now, one she’s not ready to try and understand yet. At Jack’s questioning look, Rose shakes her head, saying, “I’ll explain later.”  


Jack nods, seeming to understand as he says, “How about, I show you the Hub? And on the walk over, I can fill you in on what you’ve missed.”  


When he offers his arm like an old school gentleman, cheeky grin in place, Rose can’t help smiling at his antics. Wrapping her arm around his, she tries to put on a posh accent and says, “Why, thank you kindly, Captain.”  


At the attempt of a proud and haughty look on Jack’s face, Rose lets herself dissolve into giggles, leaning into him for support. Her laughter apparently enough to set him off, Jack chuckles as well. Strolling across Roald Dahl Plass, it seems like he’s intent on keeping her laughing, telling jokes and stories. She almost trips when Jack tells the story of Mickey’s first day, how her friend had ended up standing in the middle of the Hub, naked.  


“Wish I could’ve seen that,” she says, smirking, “Though, imagine he wasn’t happy.” Mickey’s never been one for unnecessary nudity. And she can’t wait to see him, even if she’s not sure how he’ll react. Her smile falls and Jack’s voice fades into white noise. Mickey had always worried about what might happen to her, and now, it seems like he was right. The Doctor really can’t be trusted.  


“Rose, Rosie?” Jack asks, waving his spare hand in front of her face. When she turns her attention to him, trying to drag her focus from her less than happy thoughts, he smiles softly at her. “Come on, we’re almost there. You’ll love this bit!”  


Rose tries to smile at his infectious enthusiasm, managing something small, though her brow furrows as he stops in the middle of the Plass and pulls her close. She opens her mouth to ask why they’ve stopped, but Jack shakes his head, grinning. The ground jerks and starts moving, a small square of concrete descending.  As it slowly drops, Rose gasps, hearing Jack chuckle and say, “I love that moment!”  


The platform reaches the floor and Rose stares, jaw dropping at the sight before her. Jack’s Hub is messy, an odd cross between a dank mess and extremely advanced technology for 21st century Earth. Though, she thinks, the most out of place thing might be the dinosaur flying around the upper reaches of the space. She looks at Jack and asks, “Dinosaur?”  


“That’s Myfanwy, pteranodon. She came through the rift a few years back,” Jack replies, leading her through across the Hub. “You tired?” he asks and Rose shakes her head. She doesn’t sleep much now.  


Rose follows Jack to his office and tries not to think how odd it is that he even _has_ an office. Gesturing her to the seat in front of the desk he asks if she wants a cup of tea and suggests she make herself comfy while he gets it.  


Settling into the chair, she stares around the office, barely seeing it. Her leg twitching, she wants to run. Ignoring the urge to stand, she tries to figure out where and why she wants to run. She frowns at small part of her that, having spent years running towards the Doctor, seems intent on continuing in that direction. At least, she thinks, the large part of her saying she needs to run further away makes sense. She won’t though, she admits to herself. It had been hard enough running this far and even the fact she isn’t going to have long until he appears isn’t enough to make her move.  


“Besides, not like anywhere is gonna be far enough, anyway,” she mutters to herself.  


“What’s that, Rosie?” Jack asks and she turns in surprise to see him standing in the doorway, a slight frown on his face.  


She shakes her head a little and takes the offered tea. Taking a few sips, Rose waits for Jack to sit and get comfy. At the sight of him behind the desk, actually looking like the man in charge, she lets out a small laugh, remembering when they met. She can’t help but wish, just a bit, for those days.  


“Feel up to sharing the whole story now, Rosie?” Jack asks, “Because, I’ve got to admit, a lot of it sounded, I’d say unbelievable but, since I share my home with a dinosaur, you know.”  


After another mouthful of tea and a few deep breaths, Rose launches into the story. Picking up the tale from the minutes after Jack, and Martha, and Mickey were dropped off, she tells of the trip to the other universe. Of the two Doctors who were actually one, and the brief story, or she admits to Jack, all the lies, she was told by the older Doctor.  


Unlike when she told Sarah Jane the story, Rose doesn’t leave anything out with Jack. She smiles a little as he leans forward when she mentions the Doctor in bed. Jack tries to get her to spill all the details, but in the end he just mentions that her impressive blush tells him all he needs to know.  


Rose moves through the story and as she explains, once more, the events on Tanarus, she stops, needing a few moments. Jack stands, moving around the desk and placing his hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Looking up at him, she can see the shock on his face and she feels sorry for being the bearer of this news. She nods at Jack’s offer of more tea and tries not to think on the Doctor’s face at the moment of that explosion. Dropping her head into her hands, she sighs. Maybe that should feel like the worst thing he did, and maybe it’s selfish, but to her, the worst still feels like what he’s done to her, without asking.  


A new cup of tea appears in front of her and she quietly thanks Jack. For a few minutes, Rose enjoys the comfortable silence, until she can see his curiosity getting the better of him. Placing her tea on the desk, she picks up the story where she left off. Blushing, she explains some of what happened on the TARDIS after that trip. Jack smirks slightly, but she can see the concern in his eyes as she continues.  


“You know,” Rose says, “I think the worst thing is, I woke up the next day, and as stupid as it sounds, I felt, don’t know, _different_. Like something had changed. But I brushed it off, like everything else.” She wipes her eyes, determining not to cry anymore. Maybe it’ll even work this time, she huffs.  


“Different?” asks Jack, “That was when he… When he did, whatever it was, that made you-” he gestures at her, trying to encompass all of her in the movement “-this new you?”  


“Well, sort of. I mean, I didn’t change, really change, until, well, until I regenerated,” she says, frowning at the wall. “Still can’t believe I’m saying that.”  


Jack nods, saying, “You made me immortal, but gotta say, Rosie, that’s still unexpected.” He pauses for a moment and Rose waits for the question she knows he’s going to ask. “So, you mentioned the Master, charming guy that _he_ is. He have something to do with it?”  


Taking a deep breath, Rose bows her head and tells of the events leading up to her regeneration. She’s not sure exactly what happened between Jack and the Master, but she sees him grimace a few times as she explains her interactions with the insane Time Lord. Unable to face the disappointment and dismay she expects on Jack’s face, she looks at a point high on the office wall as she explains what happened with Wilf. She can hear his sharp intake of breath as she talks of the Doctor wanting to walk away. Quickly wiping away the escaping tears, she reaches the point in the story where she stepped into the booth.  


Rose feels arms wrapping around her and burying her head in Jack’s shoulder, she pulls herself back together as he murmurs, “It’s okay, Rosie. You’re all right.”  


Unable to stay still any longer, Rose detangles herself from Jack, getting up and pacing as she continues. Explaining events from the moments she woke up, initially unaware of the changes to when she walked out of the TARDIS and away from the Doctor. “It’s sorta funny, you know. I thought when I left, he would too. Not really like him to hang around. Not sure if that wouldn’t’ve been better,” she says, sighing. “But, same time, I’m glad he didn’t. I’m glad! There’s something wrong with him and I’m just-” she chokes back a sob “-just glad he didn’t leave. Jack, what’s wrong with _me_?”  


“There’s nothing wrong with you, Rosie,” replies Jack, his tone reassuring her, “You’ve loved that idiot longer than I’ve known you. And you know him, and his many, _many_ bad habits, better than anyone. Of course you’re going to be a bit confused right now.”  


“I guess. It’s just, if he leaves, I’m scared he won’t come back. Even, even with everything that’s happened, I, I don’t… I don’t want that,” Rose whispers, feeling some relief as she admits that, to herself, and Jack.  


As she sits back down, Jack asks, “So, what was it that made you call me? And you know, I’m a little insulted you didn’t come to me first, Rosie.” His tone is light, but she can see he’s a little sad at the thought she turned to Sarah Jane first.  


Quickly, Rose explains that when she was leaving, the Doctor had been rather against bringing her to Jack or Mickey. Jack smirks and she hears him mutter ‘jealous’ under his breath. Nodding briefly, she explains her week at Sarah Jane’s and the events of her night out. She looks around and back to Jack as she says, “I just, I needed to get away. Some place he isn’t. Know I don’t have long, he’ll be able to find me easy enough, I reckon, between him and the TARDIS. But it’s something.”  


Jack looks thoughtful for a moment and Rose waits as he digs around in his desk. After a minute he exclaims, “Ah, found it!”  


Rose raises her eyebrows at him. He’s that excited about finding a ring? As he rounds the desk, he raises the plain, gold-looking ring and says, “Bio-damper. Masks your bio-signature. Given yours must be rather _unique_ , I’d bet on the Doctor using it to find you. I admit, not sure how effective it’ll be against a determined Time Lord and his TARDIS, but hopefully it’ll give you a little extra time.”  


Hugging Jack, she quickly slides the ring on and smiles at him. “Even if it’s just a couple of days, it’s something,” she says. “Thanks Jack, for everything.”  


He smiles at her, saying, “Anytime, Rose.”  


They both sit back down and Rose asks after Jack, trying to catch up on what she’s missed and, she admits, distracting herself a bit. He talks about his team and she can tell that he’s lost people; she can see the way he hides his pain as he mentions someone named Ianto. He was obviously important to Jack, something that becomes obvious when Jack mentions a brief respite from Earth, after. She wishes she knew what to say. But, whenever it happened, however long it’s been for him, it seems Jack remembers most the joyful moments he shared with Ianto and she’s glad. It’s a lesson the Doctor still needs to learn. And one she’s going to have to learn herself.  


Rose is laughing at Jack’s story about an interrupted game of naked Hide and Seek when she hears a familiar voice outside the office.  


“Hey Jack, what’s up,” says Mickey, poking his head around the door. His jaw drops and Rose waves at him, nervous.  


“Hey Micks,” she says, trying to smile while Mickey looks at her like she’s a puzzle.  


Standing and taking a step towards him, she falters as he states, “You’ve changed.”  


Rose drops her head and sighs. She feels Jack move up behind her, a gesture of support that she desperately needs. Looking back at Mickey, she tries for a lightness she doesn’t feel as she says, “Yeah, a bit. Regeneration’ll do that.”  


“Regeneration!” Mickey yells, “What the hell, Rose? What did you do?”  


She starts to reply, “I didn’t do-”  


Mickey cuts her off, speaking over her, “I mean, I knew you loved him, but to change yourself like _that_? He’s not worth it.”  


In the face of Mickey’s anger, Rose feels the tears starting to fall and she turns to Jack, pleading silently with him to help. After wrapping an arm around her, Jack tells Mickey “Shut up for a minute. Let her explain.”  


When she turns back to Mickey, she can see the apology on his face before he even says the word. She shakes her head slightly, with small upturn of her lips, a sign she doesn’t blame him for the outburst. Taking a deep breath, she gives him a short rundown of the events surrounding her regeneration and when he steps forward to hug her, she goes willingly.  


“I’m sorry, Rose. I just, just, you’ve always been enough. Only times you thought you weren’t, they were his fault,” Mickey says, “Was scared you’d finally believed it. But, now-” he lets out a frustrated noise “-if I get my hands on that bastard, I’ll make him regenerate ’til he’s got some damn sense.”  


Mickey’s been her friend almost her entire life and she knows he’s not really much of a fighter, so the idea of him threatening the Doctor, while worrying at present, still makes her giggle. But she pulls back a bit, needing to ask, “So, still think I’m me?”  


“Course you are,” Mickey says, smiling, “Takes more than a regeneration to change Rose Tyler!”  


Rose grins. Jack’s been extremely comforting, but someone who’s known her for so long accepting that she’s still herself, still Rose Tyler, is just a little more reassuring. She looks at Mickey, a little confused as he tries to move them backwards towards the door. Before she can ask why, Jack’s wrapping an arm around each of them and pulling them close.  


Stepping back a little, Jack stand on one side of her and Mickey takes the other. She looks between them, feeling safe and happy, able to forget for a little while, the storm lurking on the horizon.

Grabbing their arms and happy to pretend, for as long as she can, Rose asks, “So, you gonna show me around?”  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


The Doctor mutters angrily under his breath as he stalks out of Sarah Jane’s house.  


“Inconsiderate and ungrateful humans, I don’t know why I bother. Always expect my help, but when _I_ need help to track down my…” he trails off. His what? With all the terms out there for someone a person loves, he doesn’t think any one term fits Rose and everything she is to him. Some because they’d be lies and others because they’re never enough.  


The Doctor stops for a moment, opening the TARDIS doors and lets his sense flow. “My Rose,” he whispers. The only way he can describe her. He frowns. While he _can_ sense her, it’s only barely, just a faint whisper of her presence. She’s still on this planet, in this time, at least, but there’s no way he can follow it to her.  


When he’d been standing in front of Sarah Jane, glaring, as he demanded answers, she’d refused to give him any. He’d almost _felt_ the tethers on his self-control snapping, another one breaking with every second that passed. Narrowing his eyes at the house he’d just left, the Doctor clenches his teeth. It’s taking every bit of his once very impressive control to not storm back inside and take what he wants. He could easily dive straight into the woman’s mind, taking the information he needs.  


In the end, his only saving grace is the thought of Rose and what she would think of him, if he walked uninvited into another person’s mind. Especially Sarah Jane’s.  


Without even realising it, he’s moving to the console and taking hold of the monitor. Quickly inputting the data the TARDIS scanners, he begins the search. Rose is unique, well, almost. He smirks. The only other person with anything like her bio-signature is him. And since he’s eliminated from the search results, being inside their ship, she’s going to be the only person for the scanners to find.  


Leaning back against the jump seat while the scan runs, the Doctor watches the Time rotor moving slowly. Rose is avoiding him. She has been since the moment she stepped out of the TARDIS. He sighs; it’s not really something he can miss. But this, this _running away_ seems extreme. And pointless. Does she honestly think he won’t be able to find her?  


Frowning, he grabs at the monitor as the noise of the scan finishing, not finding anyone, just finishing, sounds out. No, that _can’t_ be right! Rose is on Earth, he _knows_ she is. But if the scan isn’t finding her, there’s only one thing that can be happening.

She’s hiding. Rose Tyler is hiding. From him.  


“No!” he yells, kicking at the nearby toolbox. The Doctor watches as the tools scatter, the noise of them scattering over the grating oddly satisfying. He narrows his eyes and looks to the console. “I _will_ find her. Again. I have lifetimes to look! And then…”  


He trails off, thinking. Then what? “I don’t care what she says, I’m bringing her home!” he states. “Enough is enough.”  


Sending the TARDIS into the vortex, the Doctor tries to ignore the image in his mind, of Rose looking at him in, tears on her cheeks, sadness and disappointment in her eyes. Bringing her back home isn’t going to make her happy, not straight away, but he’ll find a way to make her smile again.  


He ruthlessly squashes the little voice in his head, the one that sounds exactly like Rose, stating ‘I _need_ you to tell me the truth’ on a loop.  


Setting coordinates for the Powell Estates, the Doctor mutters, “If I have to go everywhere on this bloody planet, I will.”  


Landing at the Powell Estates, he darts outside and spends time walking, sonic out in front of him. He travels from one end of the Estates to the other, stopping by Jackie’s old flat and Mickey’s. He even ventures to a couple he’d seen Rose drop by on various visits. Where her old friends had lived and some still did. But there was no sign of her. Not even a blip from the sonic to say she’s been there recently.  


The Doctor spends the rest of that day, sitting in the local chippy, the one where they’d shared their ‘first date’, just in case. When a woman is shooing him out in the evening, he glares, barely noticing the way the she recoils at his look. He stalks back to the TARDIS, planning his next stop.  


Thinking of her old friends leads him to Cardiff. He wastes no time looking up Mickey’s new address, thankful that humans are so quick to share their contact details with the world. Minutes later he’s walking into the building and knocking on the door to Mickey’s flat. The Doctor knocks again before he rolls his eyes and uses the sonic to unlock the door. He knows instantly Rose is not, and has not been, inside this flat. Mickey might have heard from her, but he’ll offer no help.  


The Doctor sighs, heading back towards the TARDIS where she’s parked on Roald Dahl Plass.Halfway across, he stops. There’s an unpleasant tingling sensation and he knows exactly who’s walking up behind him even before he hears the voice.  


"Hey Doc,” says Jack, “What brings you round this neck of the universe?"  


“Jack,” the Doctor says, not exactly happy to see the man, even if it’s who he was planning on finding next. He turns, answering the man’s question, "Rose."  


"Great!” Jack says, looking around him and trying to spot her, “Where is she?"  


The Doctor frowns, saying, "I don't know. Do you, Jack?"  


There’s confusion on Jack’s face as he asks, "She's not with you? And your, what do you call him, your twin?"  


"She is not,” he says, “Obviously.”  


"Why not?" asks Jack and the Doctor can hear the concern in the man’s voice. The concern grates on him, almost as much as the question. Jack doesn’t need to know.  


"That doesn't matter,” the Doctor says. Sliding his hands into his pockets and narrowing his eyes, he asks, “Have you seen her recently?"  


Jack shakes his head as he replies, "Not since the Crucible, Doc."  


Letting out a long breath, the Doctor nods once, snapping out, "Fine. Bye Jack."  


Turning away, he steps towards the TARDIS as he hears Jack call, "Doc, wait! Where are you going?"  


Not bothering to turn around, already working out where to try next, the Doctor replies, "To find her."  


The Doctor ends up at the Canary Wharf memorial, standing in front of Rose and Jackie’s names. He remembers coming here, after he lost her, and wishing for her return. Now she’s back, in the universe she’s always been a part of, and she’s not with him. He’d thought she might come here, much like he did, to be close to someone she lost.  


It’s the idea of people Rose has lost that has him landing outside a church. She’s not the religious type, but this is where she spent time with her real dad. The Doctor’s not surprised when she’s not inside. But, for a few minutes, he sits in the church, remembering when they’d been here, together. And just how scared he was, that he might lose her, to her father of all people.  


Shaking his head, he stands. His search has been going on for almost three days already. Almost six days since he’s seen her. Rose could get into a lot of danger in six days, but he’d know if she was in trouble, right?  


In his desire to find her, the Doctor even parks not far from Wilf’s place, never nearing the house, just watching for a time, in case. As he leaves after a few hours, he lets out a sharp laugh, unable to stop the growing sense of unease.  


It’s not until he leaves Downing Street that the Doctor lets the TARDIS rest in the Vortex and kicks the console, frustration making him lash out. He knew she wasn’t going to be there, but unless she’s found a way to travel without a passport, she can’t have left the country.  


He blinks. Travel without a passport. No. He shakes his head. It’s not possible. Jack’s Vortex manipulator wasn’t working; he’d made sure of that. He’s also spoken to Jack, asked him about Rose, stood in Cardiff, and been unable to sense her.  


But, he grips the console, knuckles turning white; Jack was once a conman, a good one. It isn’t hard for him to lie, and he would lie, especially if he thinks he’s protecting Rose. Setting the coordinates for Cardiff once more, the Doctor clenches his jaw. It also wouldn’t be hard for someone like Jack, with all his contacts and Torchwood connections, to get his hands on a bio-damper.  


When the TARDIS lands, he spares the monitor a quick glance, vaguely noticing it’s night in Cardiff. Instead he focuses on the woman running down the Plass, not far from the TARDIS. He would know her anywhere, no matter the circumstances.  


Flying out of the TARDIS and across the Plass, the Doctor stops a few feet in front of her. Planting himself, he waits and, like he planned, she’s unable to stop in time, running into him. Rocking back at the force with which she connects with him, he recovers quickly and grabs her arms. Looking down at Rose, his emotions, relief that she’s safe and anger that she left, overwhelm him.  


The Doctor wraps his arms around her, desperate to be close. His relief smothers the anger and he lets out a low sigh, “Rose.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how long this took, I meant to have it done sooner, but I wasn't feeling well for a few days. Also, it's a little shorter, but that seemed better than cutting off midway through what happens next.

Nine days. That’s all Rose thinks of as she runs into the Doctor, his solid form stopping her. Nine days is all she gets. Before she can think too much about what it means now that he’s here, there’s a growl not far behind her. She struggles in his arms, pulling herself free. He grabs hold of her arm, frowning, and she rolls her eyes, looks behind her, and says, “Don’t have time for this!”  


The Doctor’s eyes widen in surprise and he drops her arm. She’s tempted to run off, leaving him to his own devices. Instead, she smacks his arm, turning away and already moving as she shouts, “Now’d be the time to run!”  


Rose runs, focussing on where she needs to go. Jack’s small, very small, and close knit team had quickly welcomed her, and less than two days after her arrival, Jack, Mickey and Gwen had her joining in the regular weevil hunts. Especially when they learnt that, for reasons unknown, weevils apparently found her irresistible. Jack suggested, due to their time sensitivity, her unique time signature appeals to, or possibly offends, them, even while she wears the bio-damper. Whatever it is, that and her speed and newfound stamina make her perfect bait. She lures the alien from where it’s spotted to the trap Mickey designed, with some help from Jack, and set up near the front entrance to the Hub. The trap is simple, a gateway that when turned on, spreads a sheet of high voltage electricity across the space, knocking out anything that hits it.  


Normally, she has plenty of leeway to get through and far enough away before the weevil is too close, giving her time to notify Mickey to flip the switch. Tonight, however, she’s cutting it fine. She mutters about bastard Time Lords, well aware he’s not far behind and can no doubt hear every word.  


Not slowing down, Rose pushes the button on her headpiece. “Mickey, I’m about twenty seconds out. And bringing a _guest_ ,” she rushes out, sarcasm obvious. “Temptin’ as it might be, don’t catch him in the Grid, yeah?”  


Rose can hear Mickey’s slight laugh as he promises to only catch the weevil. Sliding around a corner, she heads towards the Information centre, passing through the marked posts, the Doctor less than a second behind. She grins at Mickey, perched nearby, and nods. He hits a switch and the weevil rounds the corner, running straight into the Grid in its ruthless rush to get her. Mickey steps over, offering her a high five and matching grin.  


Her face falls as she hears the Doctor. “So, this is what you do now? Pull talpidens into traps for amusement? Unnecessarily put yourself in danger?” he asks, voice rising as he continues, “After everything I’ve done to keep you safe!”  


Flinging herself around, she scowls at him, saying, “You mean everything you decided to do _to_ me? Hypocritical fucking git! I, _we_ , do this ‘cause it helps, keeping people safe. That-” she gestures at the weevil, or talpiden, she supposes “-is still alive, just unconscious so we can move it. You, what’s your excuse for a building, still full of people?”  


He reels back and she feels a surge of satisfaction, and a niggle of hope. Maybe she’s getting through to him. Rose braces herself as he opens his mouth, probably to try and explain why she’s wrong and he’s right, and if he tries, she’s pretty sure there’ll be another punch heading in the direction of his jaw.  


Thankfully, before the Doctor can speak, Jack emerges from the Hub. At his concerned look, Rose nods once, letting him know she’s alright. She watches as Jack’s attention shifts from her to the Doctor and he says, “Doctor. I’d say it’s good to see you, but I’m not sure you’d believe me.”  


“Jack,” the Doctor says, “Seems you’re still lying with every breath.”  


“You’ve got to be kidding me?” Rose almost shouts, “You’re accusing him of always lying? When’s the last time _you_ stopped?”  


The Doctor looks at her, voice gentle as he says, “When I told you-”  


She cuts him off, “And don’t give me that bullshit about when you said you loved me. You might-” she can see him flinch as she says might “-but everything else’s so full of lies, that I, I can’t find the truth anymore.”  


His face falls and she turns away from the Doctor, ignoring the part of her that wants to talk to him, comfort him. She never could stand to see him hurting. Instead, she helps Mickey and Jack lift the weevil. Refusing to pay attention to the Time Lord, she lets Mickey direct them and the heavy body into the Hub. Rose sighs as Jack invites the Doctor in. He’d follow anyway, she knows. But it doesn’t make it easier to cope with.  


As she works in silence with Jack and Mickey, taking the talpiden to the cells, Rose quirks her lips, relieved with how quickly she’s slipped into their team. It’s comforting, to know she can fit into a different life, one without the TARDIS and the Doctor. That she’s unchanged enough that her friends, old and new, still recognise her, want her around, and support her. It’d only taken a day for her to settle in with Jack’s Torchwood team, making a new friend in Gwen as she did.

Rose glances over at the Doctor and her instincts are telling her to run, run far and run fast, while she can. She ignores it, huffing softly. There’s no point in running and she’s had some time to think. Nine days, and those days have made a couple of things very clear. She continues to be absolutely furious with him. She’ll always love him and, more than anything, she wants _her_ Doctor back, but she is in _no way_ ready to forgive him.  


Stepping out of the cell, she follows Jack and Mickey towards the small conference room. The Doctor falls into step behind her and she tries not to shiver. The storm that’s been hovering on the horizon is moving nearer, ready to break, and she’s not sure she’s ready to deal with it.  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


The Doctor follows the team into the hub in silence. He can’t stop thinking about Rose’s ‘might’. She thinks he _might_ love her? Everything he’s done has been because he does, and she doubts it. And he doesn’t have any idea what to do about it. The idea of telling the truth is rejected before it even fully forms.  


Trailing them down to the cells, he can’t help but be proud of her and the way she can step into any situation and find a place. Even if  her choices make him want to scream. They end up in a conference room. It’s small, only seating six people, eight if they sat close. Rose takes a seat on the far side of the table, Mickey and Jack sitting on each side of her. He frowns, but pulls out the chair opposite and sits, waiting.  


There’s a temptation to yell, at her, at Jack, Mickey, to demand to know what they thought they were playing at. Letting Rose put herself in danger, acting as bait for talpidens, a species known to be sensitive to time. And as Time Lords, himself and Rose would stand out, draw their attention and dislike. But before he yells, he waits, seeing if they’re going to offer explanations first.  


While he waits, the Doctor wonders why she hasn’t attracted others; she’s almost unique and for many species, she’d be a prize. Or like the talpidens, a cause for anger. Letting go of the tight rein on his senses, he realises that even this close to her, he can’t _feel_ her. Rose sits across from him, he can see her, hear her, but to his myriad of other senses, she might as well be thousands of miles away. Running his eyes downwards, he searches for something that can explain it and he sees it. On her finger, the small gold ring. A bio-damper. If nothing else, the Doctor will get her to take that off before he walks out the door. Or he will remove it himself.  


But looking at the united front sitting across from him, he lets out a bitter laugh. While he could easily deal with the men currently sitting either side of Rose, he’s aware what that would do to his chances of her returning with him voluntarily.  


Jack and Mickey will act as her protectors, even if she doesn’t need them and it’s hard not to laugh, or cry. People have always gathered around Rose. People willing to fight for her, with her, people who want to protect her, be near her. There have always been people there to support her. He’s the _Doctor_ , the one who’s meant to make people better, but Rose, she’s the one who makes people _want_ to be better. Even him. Since the day he met her, he’s been trying to be the man she sees, the one she tells him he can be. The one who deserves her. Without her, he’s not really the Doctor.  


“ _Oh_ ,” he whispers, his jaw dropping. Rose’s words, ‘you’re not my Doctor’, echo in his mind once more.  


Rose’s eyes snap to his and she quietly asks, “‘Oh’ what?”  


“Nothing, nothing!” he replies, not ready to try and understand, or explain, his thoughts. “It’s not important.”  


“Not important, huh? Like it’s ‘not important’ that you keep lying?” asks Rose, eyes narrowing and voice growing louder, “Or is it ‘not important’ like making life-changing decisions for someone isn’t worth talking ‘bout?” The Doctor leans back as she starts shouting, “Or maybe, it’s ‘ _not important_ ’, in the same way respecting _my_ fucking space isn’t!”  


Slamming his hands on the table, the Doctor leans forward, yelling, “I was respecting it! I let you stay with Sarah Jane, didn’t I?” He can see Rose’s jaw clenching but he doesn’t stop. “But you, you ran off like a child. No word, no sign, nothing! You will tell me why. Now.”  


Rose rolls her eyes at him before saying, “How are you _still_ not getting it? How can you be this bloody thick?” She stands and leans forward, glaring. “You don’t get to tell me what I can do. You don’t get to say where I can go. Or who I _can’t_ see. You can’t follow me everywhere. It’s _my_ life, Doctor. Mine. And I can live it, however I want.” He can see she almost smiles. “You, you’re the one who taught me that.”  


Finishing, Rose falls back into her chair, sighing, and the Doctor’s anger softens a little at the sound. Not enough, though, to stop him from asking, “And I get no say in anything? Despite everything I’ve done for you, you’re going to push me away? Hide from me?” He gestures at the bio-damper. “You shouldn’t have that.”  


Rose rubs her hands down her face and then slides the bio-damper off her finger with a frown. He snatches it up, revelling in the way his senses connect with her again. So relieved that he’ll be able to find her again, he’s only vaguely aware of her asking Jack and Mickey if she can have a moment. He keeps his face blank as both men look between him and Rose, as if assuring themselves she’ll be safe. He wants to shout, tell them she’s safer with him than anywhere else. Instead, he clenches his jaw and waits.  


“Doctor, I don’t... I don’t want to push you away, don’t want you gone,” says Rose, and he feels the last of his anger fade at tears he can see building. “I need time for me right now. ‘Cause I’m different. My life is different. And that’s your fault.” She raises her hand as he opens his mouth to argue. “I’m glad, that I’m still alive. I am. But, how you went about it-” she shakes her head “-That’s not so easy to deal with. And knowing you’re always lying to me. That every time you say something, I wonder if it’s true. Or if you’re not telling me, something, something I need to know.”  


“Rose,” he says, trying to stop her.  


“I can’t stay with you,” she continues over him, “As much as I want too, and I do, I really do. I can’t. D’you understand why?”  


The Doctor nods, almost before he realises he’s doing it, and says, “You don’t think you can trust me. But you can Rose, you can _always_ trust me.”  


He can see the ways she gathers herself, pulling back as much as she can as she asks, “Can I? Can I trust you, to let me make my own decisions, even if you don’t like them?” He nods vigorously, but she raises a hand to stop him speaking. “No, don’t just say it cause you think it’s what I want to hear. ‘Cause I need you to start telling me the truth. Can you do that?”  


“I…” the Doctor starts, stopping as he lets her words sink in. He wants to tell her she can trust him. He’s ready to say anything she wants to hear, if it’ll bring her home. But she’s watching him and there’s a sadness there that he now knows is his fault. And that rips through him, digging into his hearts. Taking a deep breath, he closes his mouth and stills.  


He hadn’t noticed it earlier, but there’s a spark of hope in her eyes that dims at his silence and he swallows. When she stands, the muscles in his legs tense, and he’s ready to launch across the table so he can gather her in his arms. He grips the desk, grounding himself, and watches her move towards the door where she stops. She takes a breath.

“I want you to do something for me, Doctor,” Rose pleads, looking back at him from the doorway, “Think about why. Why, why you don’t trust me. Why you can’t tell me the truth. About all the stuff that happened, the things you did, how you got me back. You need to figure it out. And when you do-” she bites her lip “-When you do, you can come find me. And then, we can talk, yeah.”  


With that, Rose turns and walks from the room as the Doctor stares at the now empty doorway. Part of him wants to jump for joy; the fact that she’s saying he can find her is the best thing he’s heard since she walked away. But the rest of him is replaying the conversation, her words breaking apart and reforming, sending his thoughts into a spin. One word keeps pushing its way to the front. _Why_?

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


Rose watches as the Doctor walks out of the conference room a few minutes later. He’s quiet and subdued, and except for a glance at her that she can only describe as longing, he leaves the Hub without any sign he’s aware of his surroundings. At his thoughtful face, there’s a feeling of hope building in her that she can’t ignore. It’s too soon for her to think he’ll change, that everything will work out, but maybe it’s a start. Maybe there’s a chance.  


Shaking her head, Rose resigns herself to the fact that right now, all she can do is wait and see what he does. In the meantime, she’s with friends, family really, and doing something she enjoys. Joining Jack and Mickey by the computers, she pushes all thoughts of the Doctor to the back of her mind and focusses on the present.  


The next day, she’s hiding her nervousness from Jack as she volunteers to go into the city to grab a few supplies. Rose isn’t sure why she feels the need to go outside, to walk past the still present TARDIS, to tempt the Doctor. Maybe it’s a way to tease him, frustrate him, but she doesn’t think that’s what it is. Jack gives her a knowing look and she thinks that really, she’s just curious to see if the Doctor can respect her wishes, even just a little.  


Walking across the Plass, Rose can’t resist passing close to the TARDIS. It might be taunting him, but she has to know if staying with Jack, at Torchwood, is going to be how it was when she stayed with Sarah Jane. She doesn’t find it surprising to see the Doctor leaning against the doors of their -his- ship, watching her. He’s not angry, nor desperate, as he seemed yesterday, but thoughtful and as she walks by, she feels a tiny burst of hope.  


There’s a sense of relief as she makes it to the city without the Doctor following or watching. Though she doesn’t entirely understand how she knows, Rose is certain he hasn’t moved from the TARDIS. Biting her lip, she pulls her new phone out and calls Jack.  


He picks up after a single ring and she smiles a little at his concern as he asks, “Rosie, you okay? There something wrong?”  


“Nothing, Jack,” she replies, “I just... Could you do me a favour?”  


“Sure thing, what d’you need?” Jack asks.  


“Can you, please, can you check the cameras on the Plass,” she says, “And tell me if he’s still there?”  


Rose listens to the sounds through the phone of Jack walking, then the tapping of keys on the keyboard. After a minute, he says, “He’s still here. Looks like he’s waiting for something. Or someone, I’m guessing.”  


Smiling now, feeling a little more hopeful, Rose thanks Jack, tells him she’s on her way back now, and that she’ll explain the call when she gets there. Though, she suspects he already understands. It’s as she sets foot back on the Plass that she realises she’s been smiling since she hung up the phone. A few metres from the TARDIS, she stops for a moment and looks over at the Doctor, still smiling softly. She almost giggles at the way his eyes open wide and he glances behind himself before he seems to realise her smile is actually for him. It’s not a full blown manic grin, but he offers her a small, shy smile of his own.  


When she enters the Hub, Jack and Mickey tease her a bit, and she laughs at them and their impressions of her and the Doctor. Rose considers being angry that they watched the interactions, but right now, she doesn’t blame them. Heading towards the coffee station, she grins and says, “You know, keep behaving like that and I might think you both care about me.”  


Mickey and Jack look at each other and back to her, speaking in unison, “Nah. Never happen.”  


Laughing with her friends, and remembering the shy but hopeful smile on the Doctor’s face, Rose smiles quietly into her tea, feeling lighter than she has in weeks. It’s not much, a single trip without her own personal storm watching over her, but it’s also the most progress the Doctor’s made in respecting her choices. And knowing her friends are looking out for her creates a sense of hopeful calm.  


For the next few days, things remain the same. Rose heads into various parts of Cardiff and surrounding areas, sometimes with Jack, Mickey, or both of them, and sometimes on her own. With each trip she takes, she feels more and more at ease with the Doctor’s continuing presence on the Plass. He’s not always at the door of the TARDIS, though he is most days. But he never follows her, he doesn’t try to start a fight, he just watches. He gives her a shy smile each time she returns.  


On one trip, Rose offers him a quiet ‘hello’, as she passes by and his smile grows. For over a week, the pattern continues. She walks by him and the ship most days and they exchange small smiles and quiet hellos. Mickey stays quiet and she knows he’ll jump in if he thinks he’s needed, but otherwise he’s happy to be on the outside. Jack on the other hand teases her, eventually suggesting she take her differences with the Doctor into a cell, or a bed, both even. He’s willing to help. She rolls her eyes and smacks Jack, threatening to throw him naked into the harbour for a while. Or at the very least, upset the Rift so that the quiet days they’ve been having end. If he’s working, he’s too busy to make bad jokes.  


It’s only a day after her joking threat that things pick up once more. The Rift is still fairly quiet but some weevils, or talpidens, Rose reminds herself, have been seen not far from the Plass. There’s concern as they realise the aliens seem to be almost closing in on the area, as if something has their attention. At least three, more likely four or five, based on the camera footage.

After a short briefing, they decide that Rose will round up the two weevils confirmed lurking around eastern edge of the Plass. Mickey will take his usual spot near the Gate while Jack keeps an eye of the western side and Gwen stays in the Hub, watching the monitors. Slipping on her shoes, she can’t help but wonder if she should take the west side. The TARDIS is over that way and while the Doctor’s been accepting her choices fairly calmly over the past week and a half, some part of her is curious about how well he’d react to her running past, acting as bait again.  She wonders if his current mood and self-restraint can hold while she dangles herself in front of creatures that can’t be reasoned with.

She snorts and mutters, “He’d get on with them brilliantly.”

“You okay there Rosie?” Jack asks, looking over at her, curious.

Nodding, Rose pushes her worries to the back of her mind and stands up, declaring, “Ready to go!”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot is happening, and Rose doesn't have the best time....

Sitting on the jump seat, feet resting on the console, the Doctor sighs. It’s been over a week since Rose talked to him. Well, over a week unless he counts the quiet hellos she’s taken to giving him as she wanders past, heading into Cardiff or back to the Hub. He’d almost had to tether himself to their ship the first time she’d walked by. In the end, desperate for her to trust him again, he’d managed to stay at the door and wait. It helps that he can now sense her again, where she is and if she’s okay, but it’s still a fight to let her leave his sight.  


When she had returned after her first trip and given him a small smile, he’d been so surprised he ended up looking around for someone else she could have been smiling at. Rose had almost giggled at that, at him, and all he could think was how a bit of worry about her might be worth it. To see her happy again might be worth anything.  


Even now, a week and a half after she’s spoken to him, her words are still looping around his head, constantly bringing him back to one thing. Why?  


Why he doesn’t trust her, why he can’t tell her the truth?  


He does trust her, more than anyone else he’s ever known. He trusts her with himself, everything he is, was, can be. She’ll keep him safe and look after him. Offer him comfort and solace, reassurance and love. The Doctor takes a deep breath, admitting quietly, to himself, that his worry is Rose will continue to look after everyone else, himself included, before she looks after herself. It’s why he didn’t say anything before he made the decision to make her more than human. He could have asked her if she would be willing to change, but she might have said no. And now, her acting as bait for talpidens proves his worries right. She can’t always be trusted to look after herself, to do what’s in her own best interests.  


The warning bell from the TARDIS monitor sounds, telling him Rose is heading out again. Burying the question of why he can’t tell her the truth, about what happened when he lost her, what he’s done, how he got her back, the Doctor’s thankful for the distraction. He’s not yet ready to look into that question, to find the reasons behind his need to hide all of it from her. Instead, he focuses on the images on the monitor and frowns.  


As if he was looking for more reasons not to trust Rose’s safety to herself, he watches the small figure on the monitor, heading off the eastern edge of the Plass. The Doctor quickly runs a scan for aliens in the area and sighs as his suspicions are confirmed. There’s half a dozen talpidens roughly surrounding the area and Rose is heading directly for two of them. He waits, hoping he’s wrong, that she’s not heading straight towards the pair. Minutes later, he huffs as his hopes are proven wrong. Grabbing his coat and sliding it on, he steps out of the TARDIS. Taking a deep breath, the Doctor looks to the east and starts running across the Plass. Towards Rose.  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


There’s loud snarling nearby and it’s moving closer. Rose frowns. In her previous experiences with the creatures, they’ve always been quiet and this much noise from them worries her. She rounds the corner of the building and almost runs into one of them. Jumping backwards, her eyes wide, she turns and takes off. Sprinting onto the Plass and heading across it, heading towards the Gate, she listens to the steady beat of the weevils’ feet behind her and tries to stay calm. The consistent pace they’re setting suggests a focus the creatures don’t normally have and it’s making her nervous. She knows how much space she needs between her and the aliens to allow for the Gate to work, and currently the weevils are almost too close.  


Rose is almost halfway down the Plass when the Doctor appears, the rage he’s radiating almost tangible. Not stopping, she tries to work out her options. The weevils are closer than she’s comfortable with, so slowing down is not a practical option. But, judging by the look on his face, ignoring the Doctor isn’t going to be possible either.  


Eyes narrow, he yells, “What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing?”  


She turns sharply and tries to slip around him. He moves, faster than she can follow as his arm flies out and he grabs her wrist. She tries pulling away, but his grip tightens and he shouts, “What’re you doing?”  


“Let me go!” Rose shouts, attempting to pry his hand off her wrist and work out how long she has until the weevils reach her. “Let go!”  


“Not until you answer me!” he demands, trying to pull her closer.  


Planting her feet, she growls, “Shit, not now! There’s not-”  


Her arm feels like it’s been yanked out of the socket as the weevil connects with her, its momentum wrenching her arm from the Doctor’s grip and the weight of it knocking her to the ground. She uses her good arm to try and hold it back, unable to see or hear anything but the snarling, spitting weevil above her. Rose screams, white hot pain searing through her as the weevil bites down on her shoulder, ripping into the skin and muscle.  


Less than a second later it flies off her; she has no idea how, she doesn’t care. She loses herself in pain, her flesh torn and some of her skin left in the weevil’s teeth as it was thrown away. Blinking, she looks up through her tears and into the Doctor’s face. She thinks he might be angry, and scared. Trying to speak, she coughs and his anger seems to fade. After another false start, she manages to cough out, “The, the other one…”  


Resting his hand on the side of her face, the Doctor whispers, “Dealt with. _All_ of them are dealt with, Rose.”  


Rose tries to nod, crying out in pain as the movement tugs at the gaping wound in her shoulder. Quickly, the Doctor holds her head still, telling her not to move, that she’ll be okay, he’s right here. At least, she thinks that what he says; everything seems to be getting harder to focus on. Except the pain that’s intensifying with every beat of her heart. Or is it hearts? She can’t remember.  


She blinks slowly, looking up at Jack and Mickey. There’s words she can’t seem to hear but they don’t seem to expect answers so she lets her eyes drift shut. Everything shakes and Rose lets out a small scream, vaguely wondering if she’s being moved, but she can’t manage the words to ask. Every time she tries, all that escapes is another cry of pain.  


Barely conscious, she hears the Doctor growling, “Bring her to the TARDIS. Now.”  


Not entirely sure why the idea worries her so much, something about feeling safe, she tries to shake her head. Each movement feels like someone is driving knives into her shoulder. After a moment, she manages to choke out a quiet, “No. Not th’ Tard…”  


Trailing off, Rose sees Jack nod down at her and trusting him, her eyes close as she lets unconsciousness claim her.  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


Breathing deeply, the Doctor tries to block out the image of Rose, covered in blood. It proves impossible as he can’t take his eyes off her still form, fearing that if he does, something might go wrong. He growls as Mickey and Jack move towards the Hub and not the TARDIS. Jack tells Mickey to stop for a moment and turns to the Doctor.  


“Rose doesn’t want to go to the TARDIS, so she’s not!” Jack shouts. “Can you blame her? Look at what you’ve done!”  


As Jack gestures behind him, the Doctor turns and blinks. Five weevils lie on the ground and, though he can’t be certain, he’s sure they’re all dead. He swallows, knowing that he’s responsible and yet not feeling guilty. One of them hurt Rose. It deserved exactly what it got. He turns back to Jack and states, “So?”  


The Doctor clenches his jaw as Jack shakes his head and says, “So, Doctor, you made that mess. You clean it up. Because when Rose wakes, she’s not going to want to see that. Certainly isn’t going to want to see what you’ve done.”  


Standing in silence, he lets Jack’s words sink in, nodding once and striding to the TARDIS. He moves away, every step feeling wrong as he moves from Rose’s side. Mickey tells Jack that Martha is on her way. He frowns. While Martha isn’t as good as him, she’s the next best choice and will do until he arrives. Stepping into the TARDIS moments later, he sets her to materialise around the corpses and searches for a black hole to drop them in. It takes less than five minutes to find what he needs and less than two to materialise inside the Hub.  


Stepping out of the TARDIS, he clenches his jaw as it quickly becomes apparent it’s been at least an hour, local time. There’s a feeling of discomfort crawling up his spine and he tenses. It’s not his, but Rose’s. He sprints through the Hub, following the growing sensation to its source. Looking down into the pit he thinks is probably the morgue, the Doctor sees Martha, carefully tying off the last stitches in the large wound on Rose’s shoulder. He grabs the railing circling the area, trying not to jump over and rip Martha away. There’s no need for stitches, no need for the scars they’ll leave. He can heal this quickly and easily in the TARDIS.  


“Stop, Martha,” he snaps, “I’ll fix her.”  


Martha stops for a moment, but doesn’t look at him, seeming to wait on her patient’s choice. Rose turns her attention to him, her eyes glassy and unfocused. She blinks back tears, her head shakes slightly and she looks away from him, back towards Martha. He can barely hear her whisper at Martha to continue. He growls. He won’t let her stay here, not when he can do a much better job healing her. Heading towards the stairs, a hand lands on his shoulder and spins him around.  


Before he can yell at whoever’s stopping him getting to Rose, there’s a fist flying at his face and his jaw explodes in pain. Rocking backwards, his jaw throbbing, the Doctor looks at Jack and yells, “What the fuck was _that_ -”  


“You arsehole! You almost got Rose killed!” Jack shouts, cutting him off. “ _You_! The reason she’s lying _there_ , is you!”  


Clenching his fist, not willing to accept that Jack’s right, the Doctor’s raises his arm, ready to throw his own punch when a hand grips his arm and swings him away from the pit. Mickey stands there, his fist already raised.  


In the split second before anyone moves, there’s a quiet, pained voice, “Stop it.”  


The Doctor snaps around, and he can see Jack and Mickey do the same. From down in the pit, Rose looks up at them, her disappointment obvious. Martha finishes covering the stitches and he can barely tear his eyes from the bandage wrapped around her shoulder.  


“Thanks, Martha,” Rose says quietly, as Martha helps her sit up. She looks from Mickey, to Jack and gives them both a small smile. The smile drops as she looks at him and the Doctor’s hearts drop with it. He can hear her little hitch as she takes a deep breath and says, “Stop it. No more fighting. I’m... I’m _tired_.”  


The Doctor doesn’t know what to say to that and he’s not the only one. Jack and Mickey stand in silence too, watching as Martha leans forward and gives Rose a gentle hug and whispers something so quietly even he can’t hear it. But it makes her smile, so he thinks it might not matter. Martha smiles at Rose and says, “Okay, I’m heading off. You keep those stitches clean and dry, and I want to see you in a week. Okay?”  


Rose nods, slipping her torn shirt back over her shoulder and the Doctor flinches at the sight. The shirt, once blue is now stained with blood, so much of Rose’s blood, and it terrifies him, how close she came to dying. Again. Not turning from Rose, he can see, out of the corner of his eye, Martha tapping Mickey on the shoulder and leading him away. Looking over at Jack, he scowls, opening his mouth to tell the man to piss off when he’s stopped, again, by Rose’s voice.  


“Jack,” she says, “Can you give us few minutes, please?”  


The Doctor smirks, ignoring the throbbing in his jaw as Jack looks from him, to Rose and back again. Narrowing his eyes, Jack just stares at him, asking, “Are you sure, Rosie?”  


“I’m sure. Just a few minutes. I’ll call if there’s any problem,” she replies.  


Jack turns to Rose and nods, saying, “All right, but I’ll be nearby, okay.” Turning back to the Doctor his voice goes cold and he adds, “The reason, the _only_ reason, I’m not dragging your sorry arse out of here and regenerating it is ‘cause Rose seems to think there’s hope for you. You prove her wrong, you hurt her again, and I’ll have help.”  


With that, Jack turns and walks in the direction of Mickey and Martha. The Doctor stares after him, wondering just when everyone he knows, everyone he considers friends, his entire makeshift family, turned against him. There’s a throat quietly cleared behind him and he looks at Rose, sitting in the Hub morgue and the answer is right in front of him. When Rose is hurting, everyone rallies to support her. When he’s the one hurting her, they’ll stand between him and her, ready to protect her, even from him. Especially from him.  


Rose stands, wobbling a bit and before he’s even thought of it, the Doctor is moving. He’s quickly beside her, arm gently wrapping around her waist. Helping her sit back down, he takes hold of her hand and pulls a chair over, sitting beside the pallet. He opens his mouth then shuts it again, unsure of what to say. Squeezing his hand lightly, Rose pulls hers away and just watches him. He takes hold of his knees, to stop himself from grabbing for her hand.  


“This, this is all my fault,” he says, leaning forward to rest his head in his hands. “You’re hurt and it’s because of me.”  


Staring at the floor, he can hear Rose taking a breath. “Yeah, Doctor. It is. This time it’s your fault,” she states.  


Her words hit like lightning and burn through him, leaving his emotions raw. He looks at her in shock. She’s right, but never before has Rose let him accept the blame when she’s been hurt. The fact she has this time, tells him just how much he’s messed up everything. How wrong everything between them is. For a minute, he has trouble catching his breath as he realises he might not be able to fix this, fix them. Taking a deep breath, and another, he looks up at Rose and tries to find the right words.  


Instead, speaking before he can, she says, “Normally, you blame yourself for things that aren’t your fault; it’s just you and your massive guilt complex. But, this time, Doctor, this time… If you hadn’t barged in, if you’d stayed out of it. If you’d, you’d just _trusted_ me to know what I was doing, I’d’ve been fine.”  


“But Rose, you need to understand. I saw the talpidens chasing you, and I was scared,” he pleads with her, hoping she’ll understand. “They’re sensitive to time and you, us, we aggravate their senses.”  


Rose’s eyes narrow as she asks, “And you didn’t think to _tell_ me this? Any other aliens I should know that won’t be happy about my fancynew biology?”  


Waving his hand, he says, “A few, but they don’t matter right now.”  


He swallows as Rose glares at him and he wonders briefly when she became so terrifying. She says, “Don’t matter huh? I don’t deserve to know anything about the changes in my life?” Shaking her head when he tries to speak, she sighs. “You know what, we’ll come back to that. And all the other things you should tell me. But, let’s stick to this-” she gestures at her shoulder “-For now. Did it occur to you, at all, that maybe you should’ve trusted me, to know what I was doing. Bloody hell, Doctor, what did you think stopping me was gonna do?”  


“I, uh,” he says, “I don’t know. I guess, I didn’t think that far ahead.” The Doctor sighs, now he’s said it, he realises how true it is.  


“So why’d you do it?” Rose asks, “And don’t just say cause I was in danger. I’ve been in danger plenty of times, that’s not it.”  


Brow furrowing, the Doctor thinks. He’d charged in, no plan, just wanting to stop Rose. Why? Because he didn’t think she knew what she was doing.  


“Exactly,” Rose says, and he realises he’s said that last bit out loud. “You didn’t trust me. If you did, if you’d trusted me, I would’ve been fine.”  


Tugging his ear, he nods slightly. Rose is right. He hadn’t trusted her, and because of it he’s ended up getting her hurt. Him. He’s the reason she is, right now, wincing as she tries to raise her arms. Instead, she raises only the arm with the uninjured shoulder and rubs her eyes. He reaches for her other hand, where it rests on her knee, but she pulls it back and he sighs.  


“Doctor, that, _that’s_ the problem,” Rose says, quietly. “You’re so busy not trusting me, not believing me. So busy thinking you know best, thinking that you’re infallible. Thinking that I need looking after.” Her voice rises. “But you’re not! And I don’t!”  


“Rose,” he says, ready to beg for answers, a solution. “What do you want me to say? What d’you want me to do?”  


Rose frowns at him and says, “I’ve told you this. You have to trust me. Not just when I’m with you, but when I’m not. You need to, to ask me what I want, before you make a decision that’s gonna affect me. But mostly, I need you to talk to me. Not just tell me what _you_ think I should know. You’ve got to talk to me about what I _need_ to know. Especially now. ‘Cause you know, maybe if I’d known that some aliens can be affected by my biology, I’d be more careful.”  


He opens his mouth, saying, “Rose-”  


“There’s things I need to know, Doctor,” she says, cutting him off. “And I need you to tell me.”  


“Rose,” he says, “I… I’m so sorry, Rose.”  


Rolling her eyes, she looks at him and he tries, so hard, to show how sorry he is. When she sighs, he’s not sure if he’s succeeded or not, but he waits.  


Taking his hand in hers, Rose leans towards him and says, “I know you are. But, Doctor, apologies are not what I need right now. I, _we_ , need you to be honest.” She pauses, staring at the ceiling for a moment, before she looks back at him. “Remember, the other day, I asked you why. Why you couldn’t trust me, and why you keep lying.”  


He nods. “I remember.”  


She squeezes his hand gently, before dropping it, and he misses the warmth. He watches as she stands and readies himself to catch her if needed. When she’s steady on her feet, she looks down at him in his chair and says, “That’s important. That ‘why’. Please, Doctor, figure that out. ‘Cause, ‘cause we can’t keep goin’ on like this. And I miss you, I really do.”  


“Rose…” he whispers as she walks to the door. He watches Rose pause when she hears him, but she doesn’t stop and he lets her leave, his hearts going with her.  


An undetermined time later, the Doctor blinks as he looks at the console, unaware he’d even been walking, having been so lost in his thoughts. He’s already admitted, to himself anyway, why he doesn’t trust Rose. Well, why he trusts her with everyone but herself. But he can’t help wondering, how he goes about telling her that. Shaking his head, he pushes aside the question of how and tries instead to focus on Rose’s question; the why.  


In the end, he spends two days and three hours wandering around their TARDIS in a daze, just thinking about what he should be telling Rose. About why he first left her on that beach, and what happened after. All the things that happened before he decided to get her back and just how he went about it. It takes another eight hours for the Doctor to finally admit, even just to himself, the reason he doesn’t want to tell her any of it.  


He’s ashamed. Of his actions, and of himself. And more than anything, of the fact he would do it all again, if it means having Rose with him.  


But to tell Rose means having to face her disappointment. In him. It means facing the idea that maybe she’ll finally realise he really doesn’t deserve her. That she’s a better person than he’ll ever be. If he doesn’t though, he knows, with absolute certainty, that he’ll never get her back.  


Walking back into the console room, the Doctor pauses and looks to the doors. Making his decision, he steps towards them, then stops, trying to steady his nerves, his fear. It takes him another two hours to step outside, ready to face Rose.  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


Having spent a couple of days letting her shoulder heal up properly, Rose pulls her shirt off and looks in the bathroom mirror. Her shoulder has full movement again and Martha’s stitches are ready to be taken out, even she can tell that. She quirks her lips. At least her new body heals quickly, which she’s thankful for, even if she’s still pissed off about how she came about it. She sighs, trying to push all thoughts of the Doctor away. After they’d talked the other night, he’d left quietly, seemingly deep in thought.  


Since then, Rose has been trying not to get her hopes up again. But, while the TARDIS remains parked on the Plass, no one has seen or heard him since he left the Hub. She can’t help but wonder what he’s doing, what he’s thinking. If anything she said is sinking in. Shaking her head, she heads out of the bathroom, grabbing the phone off Gwen’s desk and waving hello on her way past.  


Rose makes a quick call to Martha, asking if she’d mind dropping by. Martha is quick to agree and, smiling, Rose hangs up the phone and smirks at Mickey, who’s been blatantly listening to the conversation. She smiles inwardly, happy that he’s found someone he’s interested in and says, “You know, Micks, have you thought of asking her out?”  


“Dunno what you mean,” he replies, grinning.  


Laughing, Rose wanders off to talk to Jack and Gwen while she waits for Martha to arrive. As they joke around, discussing the lack of weevils and the silence of the rift, she wonders briefly if either or both of those factors relate to the TARDIS still parked on the Plass. Before she can give it much more thought, Martha arrives and they head down into the pit. Smiling at how quickly and efficiently Martha removes the stitches, Rose realises she’s being spoken to and asks, “Sorry, what’s that?”  


“You do realise you’re going to have a scar here?” Martha asks, curious, “You know you could have had the Doctor heal this and it wouldn’t scar.”  


Rose nods, saying, “Yeah, I know. But, I need the reminder that he’s not always right. And, I think, he does, too.”  


Martha nods and Rose is sure the other woman understands. Sometimes the Doctor needs people to tell him he’s wrong. That he doesn’t always know best. And her scar, she thinks will serve as a reminder of what can happen. Though, she sighs, she’s still not sure if he’ll ever see it again.  


“Rose,” the Doctor says and she looks up in surprise. He’s standing at the top of the stairs, watching her. Martha looks at her, questioning, and Rose nods, whispering her thanks and that it’s okay.  


Standing, Rose heads up the stairs, stopping beside the Doctor. She watches his face, and her eyes widen. For the first time in so long, his emotions are clearly visible and easy to read. She waits, watching him gulp before he says, “I think…” He takes a deep breath. “Rose, I think… I think I’m ready, now. To talk.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose finally start talking...

Rose stares at him in shock, the last buttons of her shirt still undone, left open as her hands fall. The Doctor watches her, waiting for something, for acknowledgement, recognition. Even just his name. Taking his face in her hands, she looks at him, as if searching for something in his eyes. He’s not sure what, but he lets her look, willing to give her all the time she needs. They have lifetimes.

While she looks, he glances down at her buttons and slowly raises his hands. Looking back up and into her eyes, he begins carefully doing up the last buttons on her shirt. He expects her to stop him, but she doesn’t. Instead, Rose continues to stare, as if by looking, she’ll be able to see all the way through him. Eventually, she lowers her hands and, with a hint of a smile, she nods at him.

He offers her his hand and waits, hoping that she’ll take it. With each second that passes, his hope fades a little more. Just before he pulls his hand back, Rose seems to realise that he wants her to take the lead. Right now, he doesn’t trust himself, and he doesn’t think she will either, so he’ll let her set their tone, their pace. Let her direct what happens next. She grasps his hand, not tightly, but it’s enough to send joy rushing through him, though he tries not to overreact.

Leading him through the Hub, Rose is quiet and, for a moment, he has to push down the panic that she’s just going to lead him outside and tell him to go away, to leave her alone, to stay the hell out of her life.

Instead, she leads him towards Jack’s office. Leaning in the door, Rose lets Jack know she’s going to be out on the Plass for a while, talking. The Doctor swallows, tightly gripping her hand and tries to calm his nerves. Glancing at their hands, she looks up at him and offers a sympathetic smile. He feels his hearts slow and takes a slow breath. He still doesn’t know, even now, how she can calm him with just a look. But he’s thankful she can.

As Rose leads him out through the Information centre, he steps up beside her. With her hand in his again, even just in a loose grip, the Doctor finds he’s almost giddy. The feeling is subdued and, while it’s making him feel better, he knows it won’t last. It can’t. But still, it’s giving him hope he hasn’t had since Rose walked away.

They end up walking, side by side, towards the TARDIS. Rose veers them away from the ship and sits down on the large stone steps surrounding the Plass. She gestures to the spot beside her and the Doctor sits, resting his thigh against hers. He smiles, just enjoying the contact with her, the warmth of her body next to his. For a few minutes, they sit quietly watching the few people wandering by.  Breathing deep, he turns towards the breeze, adoring the way it carries her scent with it.

“So,” says Rose, and he looks at her, noting the way her eyes dart a bit. She’s nervous, like he is. “You want to, to talk?”

He nods and whispers, “Yes. Well, no. But, Rose, I… I don’t want, I _can’t_ lose you. Not again.”

“I don’t want that either, Doctor,” Rose says, biting her lip. “But, you _have_ to talk to me. ‘Cause otherwise, I… _We_ just won’t work.”

“I know. I do, Rose.” Dragging his hands down his face, he sighs, “But, I’m scared. No, not scared, it’s more than that. Rose, I’m terrified.”

Rose turns to him, her brow furrowing as she asks, “Terrified?”

Licking his suddenly very dry lips, the Doctor quietly says, “Because, I’m ashamed, Rose. Ashamed of the things I’ve said. The things I did when I didn’t have you. What I did to get you back. And mostly, I’m ashamed of the fact that-” He takes a deep breath “-I’d do it all again, every last thing, to have you with me.”

“Doctor,” she murmurs, but he’s not ready for her to continue.

“Rose, I’m scared, that when I tell you, you’re going to realise. Realise that I don’t deserve you.” He can see her shaking her head at that, but he doesn’t stop. “I’m afraid that you’ll decide you’d rather stay here. Without me.” His voice drops, barely a whisper, but she’ll hear him, he knows. “Rose, I’m terrified you, terrified that you won’t love me anymore.”  


“Doctor, I want...” Rose says quietly, pausing and he can almost hear her working out what to say next. He’s too afraid to look up at her, only hearing her small sigh before she continues. “I want to tell you, that there’s nothing you can say, or do, that’ll stop that. And, maybe it’s true. But, I, I don’t know.”  


Once more, silence falls between them and the Doctor tries not to panic, tries not to give into the fear that whatever he says next will push Rose away. He doesn’t know how many chances she’s given him, but the number must be so many more than he’s ever deserved. Glancing at her, he’s surprised by the sad look on her face and he opens his mouth, but before he says a word, he closes it, unsure what to say.  


He almost jumps as Rose takes his hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze as she says, “Doctor, please, _please_ talk to me. I know, you’re scared, that you might lose me, but… But-” she swallows, “-If you don’t, talk to me, if not... You’ll definitely lose me.”  


“I don’t even know where to start, Rose,” he whispers, pulling her hand closer, almost embracing her arm. “Is there a good way to start telling you what I’ve done? Why I did it. How do, how do I go about telling you everything, when it might mean, mean losing you? Where do I even begin?”  


He’s pleading with her, almost begging, though the Doctor’s not sure what for and he catches her gaze briefly softening and it feels like a victory. A sign she still has some sympathy for him. Rose looks away for a moment, taking a deep breath. When she turns back, he can see the caution again, in the way she’s biting her lip. Gently, she pulls her hand back and he panics, almost grabbing for her, so fearful she’s going to stand and run. Seeming to understand, she pats his thigh before resting her elbows on her knees and watching him.  


“Maybe,” she says, “Maybe you should start at the beginning. I think, maybe that’s when you decided you wanted, wanted to come and get me?”  


“The beginning would make sense. I think,” he replies, “But, Rose, I think that it starts earlier than that.” Looking closely at her, he admits, “I think it started, really started, when I…” He takes a deep breath. “When I left you behind.”  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


Somehow, perhaps with everything that’s happened between them, she’s managed to forget that the Doctor left her behind on Bad Wolf Bay. Maybe it’s because while she was only left for moments and she’s never known how long it was for him. Rose furrows her brow, wondering if he was travelling without Donna as she suspects, and just how long he was alone.  


“Rose?” he asks and she looks up, dragging her thoughts back to the present.  


“Sorry, I just, was thinking. D’you mean, when you were the other you? The younger you, that left me on the beach?” she asks and when he nods, she takes a breath leaving the question of _why_ he left her then, at least for now. “Right. Did you travel alone?”  


She hopes he’ll see that question for what it is, a place for him to start talking. About all the things he’s been ignoring, or denying. Pretending they aren’t a problem. He needs to talk about everything that’s happened. Rose is much more aware now, just what happens if the Doctor is allowed to get away with not talking, pushing aside the conversations they should be having. They _need_ to be having. Among the worst, is he decides this gives him the right to make choices that aren’t his to make.  


The Doctor’s reply is so quiet, she almost misses it. Rose watches him as he starts talking, his hands constantly twitching and his eyes darting around, only resting on hers briefly as he explains that just after leaving Bad Wolf Bay and Pete’s World, he dropped off Donna. Before she can ask why he had left Donna behind, he swallows and mentions that she had to forget him, forget everything she did with him, all of it. She frowns as he tries to rush past that topic and puts her hand up, stopping him. There is no way she’s going to let him avoid things any more.  


“Why Doctor? Why did Donna have to forget?” she asks, watching him swallow and look away.  


He glances at her, then stares at the ground as he whispers, “Because, I… Because, Rose, I messed up.” Curling in on himself, he continues so quietly, Rose strains to hear him. “I, I went into her mind. Just, pushed in. And I didn’t... I wasn’t careful. A human mind, it’s not designed to handle a Time Lord’s unshielded mind. And, I just, Rose, I didn’t _care_. All I could think of, the only thing that mattered was you. Getting you back.”  


Her hand flies up, covering her mouth and Rose stares at him in shock, her emotions a riot, sadness and horror and disappointment overwhelming her, though some minute part of her is silently thankful he wanted her back. But what he did, to get her…  


“Why?” she blurts out, desperate to understand. “Why’d you need to do that? Wasn’t there another way?” She chokes back a sob and asks the one question that she hopes will give her some insight to what the Doctor was thinking. “Why’d you even leave me behind in the first place?”  


His mouth opens and shuts and he stutters out an ‘I’ and a ‘you’ before Rose realises he doesn’t know where to start. She waits a moment, to see if he’ll find a beginning, but when it becomes clear he can’t, she pleads, “How ‘bout you start with why, why you left me behind. The first time ‘round.”  


Nodding once, he murmurs, “Because, I thought you’d be safer. And happier. With a, with a human, but still with _me_.” The Doctor peeks at her and she frowns, about to argue when he continues. “I couldn’t… It wouldn’t work, I thought, keeping both of you with me. But, Rose, I did, want to. It was so hard, to not say, to let him, let me, say the words you deserved, needed, to hear. I really, really thought I was making the right choice.”  


Taking a deep breath, and another, Rose manages to suppress the urge to yell at him, instead, she asks, “You didn’t even think, did you, to ask what I wanted?” She raises a hand. “No, I know you didn’t. Not the point, right now.” Sighing, she asks, “Did you know, even then, what’d happen with Donna?”  


“Yes,” he admits quietly. “Though, at the time, I, I really thought it was because of the metacrisis.”  


“Right,” she states. Biting her lip, Rose considers what he’s just told her. As much as she needs to know the truth, she didn’t realise just how hard to would be to hear. But there’s more she needs to understand. “Okay, tell me, Doctor, why this ‘metacrisis’? Why not just, come back, do what you needed to, and, and just _ask_ me?”  


Reaching over, Rose rests her hand on his cheek and turns him to face her. She feels tears prickling at the corners of her eyes at the guilt written across the Doctor’s face. In some ways, as much as it hurts, she feels relief at that he still feels guilt. He covers her hand with his own, pulling it down and twisting hands together.  


He stares intently at their fingers and begins to explain. While some events on the Crucible were in flux, open to change, and manipulation, and she tries not to grimace at his choice of word, some moments in that time were fixed. Donna becoming the ‘DoctorDonna’ was one of them. While he first thought it was the metacrisis, which he admits, to Rose’s discomfort, while not probable, is still possible, it turns out, that he was even more responsible than he thought, the first time through.  


“So, you’re saying, you did it that way, because it had already happened that way?” Rose asks, trying not to get caught working out the loop the Doctor had created in his desire to get her back. When he nods, she pulls her hand back and crosses her arms. “But you couldn’t have been more careful? So Donna would be alright?”  


Swallowing loudly, he nods so slightly, the movement is barely visible, admitting, “I. Yes. I, I probably could have. Should have. But, between my wish, _need_ , to have you back and, and that I knew, that Donna’s memories were already lost, I just decided it didn’t, it didn’t matter. It seemed so unimportant at the time.”  


She gasps. Desperate for a moment to think, to let what he’s said sink in and unable to look at him right this moment, she abruptly stands. When the Doctor is about to join her, she puts her hand up, making him stop. Moving away, and barely glancing back over her shoulder, Rose says, “No, I, I need a minute, Doctor. I just… Just give me a few, and then, then, I’ll come back. And we can, we can go from there.”  


Rose walks across the Plass, her mind churning. When she’s almost at the other side, she stops and turns, looking back at him. The Doctor’s still there and she thinks he hasn’t moved a muscle. Even from this distance she can see the tension and she wonders briefly how, just a few words from her right now, are enough to hold him there. Backing up a short distance, she sits on the steps, almost directly across from him and tries to calm herself.  


Whatever she’d expected, and even with all the things he’d done since her return, that wasn’t it. She never expected such blatant disregard for someone he considered a friend. So much willingness to do anything, to anyone, to get what he wanted. Rose wipes roughly at her eyes and sighs. Breathing deeply, she takes her time thinking. What could possibly have happened, to make him think, make him feel, that he had to or that he could, throw away so much and risk even more just to get her back? It’s with that question in mind, that she stands and starts walking back to him.  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


The Doctor watches her walk away and even if he can see her the entire time, it takes every bit of his poor self-control not to jump up and follow her. He knew it wouldn’t be easy, for him to tell her, or for Rose to hear it and since the moment he began, he’s been almost expecting her to walk away. But he trusts her. If she says she will be back, than she will be. He hopes it’s soon though, he can see her, sitting on the steps on the far side of the Plass. He imagines the look on her face, the betrayal and disappointment that he briefly saw as she stood. And there’s nothing worse than knowing he’s responsible.  


There’s a sense of relief, when Rose finally stands and starts walking back over. He might have _known_ she’d return, but some part of him had worried that what he’s told her already would be enough to make her walk away. She sits back down and the small space now between them feels to him like miles.  


After a moment, she says, “Doctor, I need you to tell me, what happened after, after you left me behind. I know you travelled alone, but, there’s more to it than that, yeah?”  


The Doctor nods and mentions it really started after he’d taken Donna home. He tells her that he felt empty, as he stood in his TARDIS, alone. His family gone and him feeling like he didn’t deserve them anyway. Rose moves a little closer at that, still not touching, but he can almost feel her and it helps, gives him courage to continue.  


He launches into the story of his encounter with the cybermen at Christmas in Victorian London and the man who thought he was the Doctor. He watches Rose smile a little as he talks of Jackson Lake and his Rosita. Then he talks of the thief he met on his next trip, a Lady by the name of Christina who kept trying to tell him what to do. He startles when he hears her soft chuckle, finding it amazing that even now, she can still manage some small measure of humour.  Looking up at her, holding her gaze, he admits that none of it was the same without her. She bites her lip, her brow furrows and he rushes on.  


Rose frowns at him as he mentions the prophecy, of four knocks and an ending song, his or hers, and the ways it seemed to follow him around. His jaw clenches as he thinks of it, remembers the fear that had coursed through him each time he’d heard or seen it mentioned. Gently, her hand rests on his and he clings to it, a lifeline. But after he talks of helping Christina escape, he trails off, into silence.  


The Doctor has no idea how to explain what followed. Well, maybe he does. But the events on Mars are not going to be easy to deal with, he knows. Rose shakes her head slightly and he briefly wonders about that, but then she squeezes his hand and he forgets about it.  


Rose asks, “Doctor, what happened, after that?”  


There’s a moment, where the Doctor’s not sure he’s going to be able to talk, that telling her the truth might be too much. Staring intently at the ground and desperately holding onto her, he surprises himself when he starts talking again.  


“After that, I, I went to Mars,” he says, so quietly, he’s not even sure she’s able to hear him, but he can’t bring himself to speak louder. “And, it all went so wrong. It shouldn’t, I shouldn’t, I wasn’t meant to be there. Rose-” He looks up at her. “-They didn’t, didn’t deserve that...”  


His shoulders shake and his breath hitches. Surprising him, Rose moves closer and her body rests against his, from shoulder to knee. It helps, knowing she’s there, that no matter what he’s done, she can still sit next to him. The Doctor wraps his empty hand around their already joined ones, hoping she won’t let go, and rests them on his lap. Gently stroking her fingers, he swallows, possibly more nervous now than when he was telling her of Donna. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see her gnawing her lip. He focusses on their hands, refusing to look up and struggling to get the words out. She leans into him, her head almost resting on his shoulder. He breathes deeply, letting the scent of her wash over him and begins talking of the people and events of Bowie Base One.  


Rose listens in silence and he can tell by the way she moves, pulling away, just a little, that she’s uneasy. He talks of landing on Mars and meeting Adelaide Brooke and her team. It’s hard for him to admit, how quickly he’d realised they were destined to die. She gasps quietly and, in stops and starts, and short, broken sentences he manages to explain that, when he knew it was fixed point in time, he’d tried to leave. Instead, the Doctor glances up at her, admitting he’d easily let Adelaide pull him into the mystery, curious about what happened to Mars’ first human colonists. He’s aware that the pauses in his story are getting longer when he begins to explain the virus that was destroying the base.  


Glancing up, he stares at Rose, trying to think of her face instead of Adelaide’s as he remembers telling the woman that she was meant to die. He chokes back a sob and feels Rose move closer again.  


The Doctor looks back at their hands, turning them over, explaining that he was left with no choice but to run from them. Even now, he can still hear the screams and the panic, through the space suit’s speakers. He can still hear their fear and desperation as yet another colonist was taken over. And then, he can’t stop thinking of Adelaide’s resignation, when she knew there was no hope.  


“Doctor, you...” Rose whispers, trailing off when he looks up and whatever she sees in his eyes makes her pause.  


“I, Rose, I didn’t. I didn’t leave. I should’ve,” he chokes out, “I know it now. And I knew it then. But, I was, just, _so_ tired. Of losing everyone. Watching people die. Rose, I, I didn’t want to lose any more. There was so much anger, no, it, it was _rage_.”  


He can’t look at her anymore; he doesn’t want her to see him. Letting go of her, he buries his face in his hands and hears her say, “Please, Doctor. You need to tell me.”  


Nodding slightly, he briefly wonders if she feels he needs to tell her for her sake, or his. “I stormed back into the Base, not caring about fixed points in time, or even about them, the people. It was never, ever about them. Rose, I just wanted to prove, that I, that for once, I was the one in control. The winner. The once who made the rules.” He swallows, barely managing a whisper as he continues. “The Time Lord, Victorious.”  


Rose gasps and he can see, out of the corner of his eye, the hand covering her mouth and he wonders if she remembers his claim on Tanarus. He’s not sure it matters as he says, “And I was. I won, Rose. I stopped some of the dying. I saved them. Even, even _despite_ the fixed point, even with that, I took three of them home. And if I could do that. If I could save them, I could do anything. There was nothing, no one, that could stop me.”  


He finally looks at her, his hearts breaking at the tears forming in her eyes, the way she’s curling in on herself while she listens. Taking her lax hand, he’s saddened, but not surprised, when she doesn’t move to hold his. The Doctor admits, “That’s when. After I dropped Adelaide and the others back, that’s when I decided that… That it was time. Time to get my reward. To get what _I_ wanted, for once. And what I wanted, what I always want, is you, Rose.”  


~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~  


Rose stares at him, unable to work out what to say, what to do. It’s almost too much to believe, that the Doctor could be so _broken_. That he could be so lost, that he would take risks like that with time. That he would decide to risk everything, everyone, for such a selfish reason.  


“Rose, say something. Anything, please,” he pleads.  


Swallowing, she doesn’t know what to say, to ask first, and just goes with what might be the easiest question. “Adelaide. What happened to her? ‘Cause, fixed points, breaking them is bad. But, the universe is still here, so?”  


He blinks at her and she feels a bit ridiculous, asking _that_. But, she’s not ready to deal with anything else. Not yet.  


The Doctor runs a hand through his hair and frowns, saying, “I’m not sure. I should…” Rose waits, knowing he’s trying to find out, or looking it up, however it is he goes about knowing everything. She knows the minute he works it out, his face falls and she can see the shame in his eyes before he chokes back something that sounds suspiciously like a sob. He whispers, “Rose, she… I made her… Adelaide knew, that she was meant to, to die. She, Rose, she shot herself. I think, I think it must have been, just, just seconds after. Seconds after I left. Oh, Rose… What did I do?”  


Rose feels her breath rush from her and lets out a quiet, “No, no. Doctor...”  


She’s not sure what to say, what to do. Her hand falls from his as the Doctor leans forward, shoulders hunched and breath hitching. For a moment, all she can do is sit there, struggling to accept what happened. What he made happen. When she realises he’s truly sobbing, Rose can’t sit by, letting him breakdown on his own. Turning towards him, she pulls him close, cradling him as much as she can, given how they’re seated. He burrows into her and it feels as if he’s trying to hide in her. Running her hand down his back, she doesn’t say a word.  


As much as she’s needed to know the truth, she never expected this. His shoulders shake and some part of her is glad, because if he can still be broken, like this, then maybe, maybe he can still be put back together. But, she knows, he can’t do it alone. And he shouldn’t. Holding him, Rose lets the Doctor fall apart in her arms.

 


	15. Chapter 15

It takes time for the shudders to subside, letting him feel like he can _finally_ breathe again. Slowly pulling away from Rose, just enough to sit up so he can see her face, the Doctor looks at her and relief rolls through him. There’s a softening to her gaze, one he hasn’t seen since some time before _her_ regeneration. Running his hands through his hair, he tries to find the right words.

Before he has any idea what to say, to explain, Rose takes his hand in hers and he stops trying to talk, instead letting her ask, “Tell me, honestly please, Doctor, are you sorry?”

He nods, pauses and then shakes his head. When Rose begins to frown, he rushes to say, “I’m not sorry. Not for getting you back. But, Rose,” he pleads with her, “I am so sorry, for the people, the ones I, I hurt. And,” his voice drops to barely a whisper, “and I’m sorry, for leaving you behind.”

Rose nods gently and, with the barest hint of a smile, whispers, “I believe you.”

Relief surges through him at her words, at her almost smile, at the acknowledgement that she heard him, believes him, _knows_ him. A little voice points out that she’s always known him better than he knows himself and maybe the reason she understands _this_ time, is because he might finally mean it.

“I’m sorry I lied to you, too,” he blurts out, unable to stop himself. The lying had seemed like a good idea at the time, but, looking back, the Doctor admits, Rose deserved to know. And maybe, if he told her the truth, even just some of it, maybe they wouldn’t be here now.

Taking his hand, she furrows her brow and asks, “Are you sorry for what you did to me?” He gulps, but stays silent, because he can’t lie to her, not now, and he’s not sorry for that. She sighs, instead asking, “Are you… are you _at least_ sorry that you didn’t ask me, first? That you, you didn’t trust me, to make that choice?”

He nods at her, murmuring another apology. She deserves that and he does mean it. Rose can make her own decisions, she can look after herself. He should have trusted her with this, like he trusts her with everything else. Not only should he have trusted her to make the best decision for herself, but she has always, _always_ , promised him everything, including her forever, no matter the how long that may have been. He should have believed in her, believed in them, like he once claimed.

Rose licks her lips, admitting, “I’m not quite ready to… I don’t think I’m ready to forgive you. I want to, I do. I miss you, _so_ much. And, sometimes, I think, I think it’s worse, knowing you’re so close, but I can’t-” She looks down, sighing. “-I can’t just run into the TARDIS, back to you, again. Not yet.”

Blinking quickly, fighting back the tears he can feel building, the Doctor nods, quietly asking, “But, maybe, maybe one day?”

Looking back up at him, she smiles softly and his hearts soar. It’s a smile he recognises and even before she nods once at him, his mind is running off on possible adventures and quiet moments, planets they could see and times they might spend together on their ship. In an almost inaudible whisper, Rose says, “Yeah, one day.”

The Doctor’s not quite sure how he manages to stay still, to not jump up and drag her back to the TARDIS, to make her ‘one day’ this day. When Rose pats his knee, a small and amused smile on her face, he scratches the back of his head and thinks she knows exactly what he wants to do. She opens her mouth, but before she can speak, he states, “I’ll wait for you. As long as you need, Rose.”

“I know Doctor, I do,” she says and take a deep breath before she continues, “I know it’s probably not right, but… But I’m gonna need you to, to prove that I can trust you. Because,” Rose looks up to the sky, “Because, I don’t think, Doctor, if it happens again, I don’t think I, we… We need to do this properly, Doctor.”

Squeezing her hand, he waits for her to look back at him before he says, “I don’t know how, but Rose, I will show you, every day, that you can trust me. _You can_.”

Rose nods at him and silence settles over them. He wouldn’t quite call it companionable, but it’s still more comfortable than he expects. Watching Rose as she watches people pass them by, the Doctor can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking. He doesn’t ask, knowing she’ll tell him when, or if, she’s ready. Instead he considers how to show her, that he trusts her with her own life, that he’ll let her make her own choices. How to show her that he won’t lie to her anymore.

There’s movement beside him and he snaps out of his thoughts as Rose stands. Trying to stop the flare of panic, the Doctor goes to push himself up when she steps in front of him, raising her hand. She says, “I’m gonna need a little time, okay? You’ve told me a lot, and, I just, I need some time to think. But, Doctor, I know you don’t wanna hear it, but I’m not… I’m the not the only person you need to make things right with.”

The Doctor nods, knowing she has a good point. He can’t fix things with Adelaide. He can’t apologise to her, or change what has now become its own fixed point. But, he sighs, there’s Donna. Maybe… Shaking his head, he realises Rose is still talking.

“We’re also gonna have to talk, Doctor, and soon, about my fancy new physiology,” she says, biting her lip, a thoughtful look on her face and he nods; she’s right, he should explain. Before he has a chance to say they could do so right now, she asks, “But, is there _anything_ else I need to know?”

Without thinking, he blurts out, “I’m one thousand and twenty-three, not nine hundred and six.”

Blinking, she stares down at him for a moment then breaks into giggles. They might be slightly hysterical, but still, the Doctor feels comfort in the familiar sight of her, grasping her stomach and laughing. He even chuckles softly himself, though it might just be that he’s unable to sit quietly while listening to that joyful sound. It’s things like this, he thinks, he has missed, and is missing, the most, enjoying the small moments with Rose.

Eventually Rose’s laughter trails off and she straightens up. The Doctor waits, knowing this isn’t the time to jump up and hug her, no matter how much he wants too. Her brow furrowing slightly, she takes a deep breath and says, “Time, Doctor. And then, then maybe, we can talk about what happens next, yeah?”

“Anything you want, Rose,” he replies, hoping she understands just how much he means that. For her, he will always try.

“Can you, can you do something for me, please?” she asks quietly, and he nods, slowly standing as she continues. “Just, think about how you might be able to help Donna. Please.”

For some reason, her plea doesn’t surprise him. Rose has always thought of others and, hearing what he did, of course she’s going to want him to try and help Donna. Scratching the back of his neck, the Doctor agrees, “I’ll… I’ll look into it, Rose. I promise.”

Offering him a small smile, which he immediately returns, Rose murmurs a goodbye, shocking him with a quick hug, so fast he doesn’t even have a chance to raise his arms before she’s moving away. When she turns to wave at him, he returns it enthusiastically. More enthusiastically than he realises, if her smirk is anything to go by. And the nearby pedestrian’s odd look. It’s worth it, the Doctor thinks, to see her brief smile as she turns and walks towards the Hub.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Rose walks back into the Hub, barely aware of Mickey or Gwen asking if she’s okay. She’s not, not really. She’d suspected that whatever had happened, whatever the Doctor had done, it was not going to be good. But she wasn’t prepared, not really, to hear how bad it actually was. All that the Doctor’s told her is turning over and over in her mind and she doesn’t know what to think. So deep in concentration, she doesn’t even realise she’s near Jack’s office until she walks into him.

Jack lets out a quiet chuckle that stops the moment she looks up at him. Rose can see his concern as he asks, “You alright, Rosie?”

“I’m really, really not,” she replies, letting herself be led into Jack’s office and gently seated. While he prepares tea, Rose stares into the corner of the room, almost absentmindedly saying, “I knew, I mean, I knew it couldn’t be good. But, Jack, I-” She looks at him, and she can feel the tears building again, “-I just, I didn’t think it could be that bad. He’s the Doctor, _the Doctor_ , Jack! And, I know, that he isn’t always the best person. Or the nicest. But, I didn’t… I didn’t think he could… Not anything like that.”

Rose is grateful as Jack drops down beside her, wraps his arm around her shoulder, and waits for her to gather herself. When she looks up, she whispers thanks and he smiles, moving to lean against his desk. He asks, “You want to talk about it?”

Taking a deep breath, Rose readies herself to talk and then pauses, leaning back into her chair, thinking. As long as she’s known Jack, he’s admired the Doctor, the things the Time Lord has done and managed to come back from. Even when he was at his angriest at the Doctor, Jack still considered him an example, someone to be like. She’s seen the man Jack’s become, emulating the Doctor, and she can’t help but be proud of him.

If she tells Jack all that she’s learnt, all that the Doctor’s done, will it break his heart as much as it broke hers? But can she lie to him, even a lie of omission, when a large part of what put her on the path to this moment, sitting in the Hub with Jack, was the all the Doctor’s lies? She sighs, already knowing the answers. He deserves the truth, and looking at the way he stands, having seen the way he looks out for his team, for his home, Rose is sure that even if the information hurts him, he’ll continue to do the right thing. And he’s got friends to make sure he does.

And maybe, maybe it’ll help her understand it all. Help her put it in perspective, to organise her own thoughts. Maybe it will help her understand what it means for her, _their_ , future.

Gesturing to the seat beside her, Rose waits until Jack sits, turning to face him and his growing concern. Taking another deep breath, she says, “It’s funny, ‘cause now, now I sort of wish I didn’t know. Jack, I, this isn’t gonna… Just, it’s not easy, yeah?”

Jack nods, telling her to take her time and Rose watches him as she tells the Doctor’s story. As she explains that the Doctor left her behind and, after dropping off Donna, travelled alone, she can see the slight crease in Jack’s brow. The slight crease turns into a full frown as she talks of Mars and the way the Doctor broke a fixed point. Cursing the Doctor’s stupidity, something she nods in agreement with, Jack mutters about how certain idiotic aliens should not be allowed to go unsupervised.

Rose bites her lip, considering something she already knew, but thinks she now understands in a way she never has before. The Doctor should never travel alone. He needs someone to stop him; all his companions have known that. But, it’s more than that. More than he needs someone to stop him, he needs someone to care about him. He needs someone to tell him it’s okay if he makes a mistake, if he can’t save everyone. It’s okay if he’s not perfect. What he always needs is someone to love him, whether it’s like she loves him, with every part of her, or as a friend, or like he’s family. Because he’s so, _so_ sure he doesn’t deserve it, doesn’t deserve friends, or family. He’s convinced he doesn’t deserve to be happy, to have someone love him. And, she’s certain now, that it’s when he thinks that, when he has no one who can show him, tell him otherwise, when he thinks he has nothing to lose, that he loses sight of who the Doctor can be.

“Rose? Rose?” Jack’s voice breaks into her thoughts and she blinks at him, wondering how long she was lost in her thoughts. He asks, “You okay? Lost you there for a minute.”

Nodding, she says, “I just, realised something. I already knew it, but Jack, I think I finally _get_ it.”

He raises an eyebrow and Rose almost smiles, explaining what she’s now really understanding about her Doctor. She ignores Jack’s slight smirk at her possessive slip and tries not to dwell on it herself. As she finishes telling him of her realisation, she admits, “Jack, I want to, I want it to be me, who reminds him, of who he is. That I, we, care. But-” she bites her lip, “-But, how do I trust him?”

Jack takes her hand, saying, “You said that he wants to prove himself to you?” She nods and he smiles. “Well, I’d say the only thing you can do, Rosie, is let him. I know, it’s scary, but if you want to go home, then, you have to give him a chance.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right,” Rose says, smiling at him.

Standing, Jack looks down at her and says, “Think about it a bit first. Be sure, okay?”

She nods and he leans down, smirking as he continues in a whisper, “Besides, you should come up with a list. Of all the places and times you’ll be able to get him to go, because I reckon, there’s no way he’ll be able to say ‘no’ to you now.”

At Jack’s wink, Rose giggles and, letting herself enjoy a little hope, she grins.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

After his talk, and subsequent breakdown with Rose, the Doctor returns to the TARDIS, a few thoughts taking centre stage. The first is less a thought and more a clock, counting the seconds, minutes and hours until she talks to him again. He pushes that thought to the side, always aware of the time passing, but trying not to focus on it.

Briefly, he considers how to help Donna. Sighing, he admits to himself that fixing her memories should actually be quite simple. However, Donna’s likely reaction alternatively terrifies and saddens him and he has no one to blame but himself.

Instead the Doctor focuses mostly on ways he can show Rose that she can trust him. There’s a small, unpleasant voice pointing out he doesn’t deserve her trust. And in many ways, he agrees, but if he can’t earn Rose’s trust back, he knows there is no future for _them_. Even if he will never deserve her, he will happily spend the rest of his lives trying to.

As much as he wishes for a quick and easy way to show Rose that he’ll do anything she needs, there isn’t one. He smiles a little. If she knows that, and he’s sure she does, then she also knows the only way he can prove himself, is if she’s here, with him. And even if it takes months, or years, for her to really trust him, to open herself back up to him again, well at least she’ll be here. With him.

Most of the following days he spends enjoying the idea of Rose being back on the TARDIS, something his ships seems happy about too, if her humming is any indication. His time is spent sleeping briefly, tinkering, pacing around the console and various little necessities, but all of them just passing time. Waiting for some sign, some word, any indication from Rose that she’s ready.

It’s some time during the fourth day after their talk when _it_ happens. And if he could stop staring at Rose, standing just inside the door of their ship, then he could likely figure out the time down to the last millisecond. But it feels like time has stopped, or maybe it’s rushing forwards. It could possibly be doing both. He wants to move towards her, but at the same time, it’s like he’s being held in place by her simple, shy smile.

“Hello,” he whispers, cursing himself for being so quiet.

“Hello,” Rose replies, her smile growing and he can’t help a matching grin as he steps forwards, wanting to complete their once normal ritual.

He tentatively wraps his arms around her, gleeful when she closes her own around him, just for a short moment before she drops her arms and makes to back away. At her movement, he immediately drops his arms, taking a small step back. But he can’t bring himself to stop smiling just yet. Rose is in the TARDIS again and he thinks maybe he’s finally managed to do something right.

Opening his mouth, he’s doesn’t have a chance to think of the right words before her smile falls and she speaks. “I’ve, I’ve _missed_ you, Doctor, so much. Spent years missing you, and now, now when you’re so close, I’m still missing you. I don’t want to, not anymore,” Rose says, raising her hand when he goes to agree. “But, before I come back, and I do, want to, before that… I need, we need some-” Biting her lip, she seems to gathers herself. “-We need some ground rules, yeah?”

He quickly agrees. “Anything you want, Rose.”

Rose gives him a small half smile and says, “Doctor, don’t. Don’t say it, unless you mean it, okay?”

Nodding, the Doctor waits as she moves around him to the jump seat, fighting a grin as she drops a bag beside it. A bag, he can’t help but think, that looks a lot like it’s holding clothes and maybe she’ll be staying for a bit longer than he had let himself hope. Rose sits down, looking up at him, and he moves closer. He leans back against the console in front of her, trying to relax, or at least appear relaxed. When her eyebrow raises, he sighs, standing up straight and sliding his hands into and back out of his pockets.

He hopes she isn’t waiting for him to start, but as the silences stretches, he lets out a soft sigh and, looking at the grating, mutters, “I don’t know where to start.”

“Doctor, please, look at me,” she says and when he does, she rewards him with a soft smile. “The rules, yeah. The most important one, you can’t decide things for me. Not the little things, and not the big things. _Especially_ not the big things.” He tugs his ear, but nods at her and she reaches out and takes his hand. “It means, Doctor, it means you’re gonna have to _talk_ to me, about the important things.”

“I will, Rose,” he whispers, then gulps. The Doctor knows he can talk indefinitely about nothing, but talking about what matters has never come easily. But when all is said and done, he’ll do anything to show Rose that she can trust him, that he can do what she needs him to and not just what he wants. “I will. But…”

Trailing off, he squeezes her hand, trying to convey his struggle. That he understands _why_ , but it’s going to be difficult for him. Rose returns the gesture and says, “I know. It’s not gonna be easy for you. And, Doctor, I’m not, I’m not asking you to tell me everything. But, the important information, the stuff that might affect me. You need to tell me about it. Okay?”

Almost whimpering at the loss, the Doctor lets Rose pull her hand back, clenching his fist briefly at the empty feeling. Quietly, he asks, “Is there, is there anything else?”

Rose bites her lip then opens her mouth before shutting it again. Twisting her hands in her lap, she looks down and breathes deeply. Finally she looks up at him and says, “You’re… I’m gonna need my own space. For now. My old room? I miss, well, sharing a room.” He grins as she starts blushing. It’s not the room she misses sharing, it’s the bed. Rolling her eyes at him, she almost smiles as she continues, “Shut up. I miss that. But-” His smile drops as her tone becomes serious again. “But, Doctor, I have to know that I can trust you, before we… Before we go back to, to a relationship like that.”

The Doctor wants to argue and tell her that she can trust him, that he wants her back in _their_ room, in _their_ bed. But watching her gnaw on her lip, he remembers that it’s not about what he wants. Right now, it’s about Rose and what she needs.

“I, I understand,” he says quietly. Then he takes a deep breath. “If you’re okay with it, Rose, I know where, where we should go first. Because, I, well, I want to show you I mean it. That, that I want to do the right thing.”

Rose studies him for a moment and he wonders what she sees. Then she’s nodding and picking up her bag, asking, “I’m just gonna put my bag away, yeah. I’ll be right back.”

There’s a ball of hurt settling in his chest as the fact that she’s going to _her_ room sinks in. He faces the console, setting the necessary coordinates as he whispers a quiet ‘okay’, trying not to turn around at the sound of her footsteps, heading away from him, into the corridor.

The TARDIS groans, moving into the Vortex and the Doctor paces around the console while he waits. He’s not sure about their destination, but, for Rose, he’ll try to make things right. Even if it means facing up to the people he wronged. Resting his hands on the edge of the console, he drops his head and sighs.

He’s so lost in his thoughts, he jumps at Rose’s hand covering his as she slips up beside him. A small frown forming, she still offers him a slight smile but remains quiet. She turns to the time rotor, watching it as the TARDIS lands, the movement softer than usual.

Flipping his hand over, the Doctor takes Rose’s and turns around. He’s aware of her watching him, but he can’t take his eyes from the door. It’s not until she steps forward that he can finally make himself move. He’s not ready to face this. Face them. He should have worked his way around to this moment.

“Doctor,” Rose whispers, facing him and taking his other hand as well. “Are you okay?”

He shakes his head, saying, “No, but, I don’t think, putting this off, it’s not going to make it any easier.”

Dropping one hand, the Doctor leads Rose to the door and outside. She looks around for a moment and then spots a slightly familiar house. “Is that…?” she asks.

Unable to speak, he just nods and breathes deeply. They walk up to the door and taking strength from the way Rose is still holding his hand, still standing beside him, the Doctor rings the Nobles’ doorbell.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how long this has taken, but onward to Rose and the Doctor, hopefully beginning to move forward.

Standing beside the Doctor, her hand in his, Rose can feel the tension in him. She can see his desire to run as though he was already in motion. It had taken her a moment to work out where they were, but she knows this house, even if the time she spent here was brief. It belongs to Donna’s family. There’s conflict within her right now, between relief, that the Doctor’s made the decision to come here himself, and worry, about what may happen when all is said and done.

There’s also hope, because surely, she thinks, he wouldn’t have brought them here if there was nothing to be done for Donna. Looking up at him and gently tugging on his hand to gain his attention, she quietly asks, “You think you can help her?”

The Doctor swallows and says, “The memory block, and the, the memories and knowledge, what she shouldn’t have. I don’t think they will be hard to remove. But, Rose…”

As he trails off, Rose bites her lip before asking, “But what, Doctor?”

“What if she hates me?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper.

Her heart, hearts, hurt for him and she sighs, reaching up to push the doorbell once more as she says, “I’m not gonna lie, Doctor, she might hate you. I wish, that I could say it’ll be okay, and that Donna’ll forgive you, but, I can’t.” She stops, resting her unoccupied hand on his cheek, making him look at her. “But, you have to face this. You have to, to face the consequences. Losing Donna might be one of them.”

She can see the tears he’s trying to hold back as he murmurs, “I, I understand. But Rose, please, _please_ don’t give up on me?”

“I promise, long as you keep trying, Doctor, I won’t,” she says just as the door finally swings open.

The Doctor squeezes her hand tightly as Wilf stares at him, shock and worry so apparent on the old man’s face. Looking between Rose and the Doctor, he asks, “Is everything okay? Is Donna safe?”

Rose looks up to the Doctor, watching as he gulps, opening and closing his mouth, but never managing to say a word. Finally she says, “Donna is fine. But, we, the Doctor thinks he-”

“I think I can give Donna back her memories, Wilf,” he says, and when Wilf looks ready to speak, he continues, “And keep her safe.”

Before she can blink, Wilf embraces her, whispering a quiet ‘thank you’ and ‘glad you’re alright’ in her ear. She can feel a tell-tale prickling in her eyes and drops the Doctor’s hand long enough to return the hug. When he steps back and invites them inside, Rose quickly takes the Doctor’s hand again as Wilf explains that Donna isn’t home, but will be very shortly. As will Sylvia. The Doctor grimaces at that and Rose can’t help but wonder why. Choosing to leave that until later, she listens as Wilf asks the Doctor questions about how he can help Donna, and why, and why now and not sooner. When the quiet despair and stumbling half answers from the Doctor get to be too much, she quietly interrupts, asking if they can have a cup of tea. Wilf nods, with a kind smile towards her, and heads into the kitchen.

Moving closer to him, Rose doesn’t say a thing, just wraps her arms around him and offers her support. His arms wrap around her tightly, fingers almost digging in, and for a moment, she just holds him. What’s happening is his fault, she knows, but he’s trying to do the right thing, and all she wants to do is support him in that, as long as he needs.

Rose hears the front door opening the same moment the Doctor does and she drops her arms as he lets her go. He moves to his feet and she’s about to ask what has him so panicked when Donna walks into the room and everything seems to happen at once.

Donna blinks, frowning as she grabs her head, and curls forward. Wilf returns, dropping the tray of tea as he moves to the side of his granddaughter, only stopping when the Doctor yells, “No, Wilf, stay back!”

Taking the old man’s hand, Rose pulls him out of the way and together they watch as the Doctor takes hold of Donna’s shoulders, waiting for her to drop her hands. Eyes narrowed, her pain obvious, Donna looks at him, whispering, “Doctor?”

The Doctor barely nods. Before she can utter another word, he moves his hands up, cupping her face and resting his fingers on Donna’s temples. Rose feels Wilf try to move and turns to him, quietly asking, “Please, let them. Donna’ll be okay. I promise.”

Wilf offers her a weak smile and squeezes her hand as they turn back to watch the Doctor and Donna sit on the floor, facing each other. Rose raises her empty hand, biting her nail as she watches for any sign of distress. Time seems to lose all meaning as they wait for a word, some sign. Some indication that everything is working as the Doctor hopes it will. As Rose, and Wilf, hope it will.

It could’ve been a minute or an hour when Rose hears the front door open once more and a loud voice calling through the house. Wilf drops her hand and she looks to him, his eyes wide as he runs out of the room and into the hallway. She can hear them talking, Sylvia demanding to know what’s going on and as Wilf explains what the Doctor is doing, she goes quiet. Eventually, she walks into the room and stands beside Rose.

“I’m glad he’s doing this, for Donna. And Dad,” Sylvia says quietly to her. She begins to speak, then stops, looking down at her daughter and frowning. Finally she looks back at Rose. “Dad, he told me, about the way _you_ saved him.” Rose looks up, offering Donna’s mother a small smile. “Thank you, Rose.”

Before she can offer a reply, Donna gasps loudly and her head drops forward. The Doctor lets his hands fall and slides backwards a bit. For a moment the only noise is the ticking of a clock and Donna’s slightly strained breaths. It’s as though everyone else is holding their breath, waiting to see what will happen, to see if the Doctor has managed to give Donna back what was hidden from her. Rose bites her lip as the Doctor looks up at her briefly, his eyes sad.

Rose takes a step towards him, but before she can take a second, Donna raises her head, narrows her eyes and leans forward, slapping the Doctor. His head flies back and Donna glares, spitting out, “I can’t believe you!”

As Donna raises her hand again, Rose leaps forward, standing between her and the Doctor. “I know, believe me, Donna, I _know_ ,” Rose says, stopping the woman’s fist, “I know how it feels to learn, that he’s done something _so_ wrong. That he’s lied to you. Taken your choices away. But please, don’t.” Donna takes her hand and Rose offers a half smile as she says, “And really, punching him doesn’t help much. I tried, just left me with a sore hand.”

“Donna?” Wilf asks, a hopeful, pleading look on his face and Rose wonders just how hard it’s been for the old man. For him to know about Donna’s amazing life and have to keep it all from her. As Donna quickly moves to hug her grandfather, Rose blinks back a few tears. Turning to face the Doctor, she can’t stop the tears from falling at the guilty and broken look on his face. Offering him both her hands, she helps him rise.

A couple of minutes pass as she holds the Doctor’s hand while he watches three generations reconnect. Rose watches him instead, focussing on the way he tightens his grip on her hand and makes a barely noticeable movement, leaning forwards, like he wants to run over to them. There’s a moment when she sees his lips move, but whatever he says is so quiet even she can’t hear it. She wonders if he’s saying sorry and, as his empty hand reaches out briefly, she thinks he is.

Finally Donna asks Wilf for a cup of tea. He nods, heading out of the room and taking Sylvia with him to help. Rose smiles briefly; the old man is kind and obviously understands what Donna really wants is time. Stepping back a little, she squeezes the Doctor’s hand and, when he looks at her, Rose tries to smile, to show her support. His brow smooths out a bit and he takes a deep breath, turning to Donna.

“Donna, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he says, almost pleading. “I know, I know I shouldn’t have…”

“No,” Donna interrupts, her face a stony mask “You shouldn’t have.” She takes a deep breath before continuing. “I know you wanted Rose back, but how you went about it? I’m honestly not sure you deserve her back.”

Rose covers her mouth and quickly looks to the Doctor. His head has fallen forward and he’s staring at the floor, his grip on her hand becoming loose. She holds on tighter. He already thinks that he doesn’t deserve her. And Donna suggesting she feels the same isn’t what he needs to hear. Rose shakes her head and pulls him around to face her. She places her fingers under his chin to make him look at her and whispers, “That’s my decision, Doctor. And I’m still here, yeah?”

The Doctor manages the briefest of nods and grips her hand properly, tightly, again as he turns back to Donna. Rather than looking to the Doctor, who she barely glances at, Rose is surprised to find Donna looking at her, brow furrowing.

“I’m can’t forgive him for what he’s done,” Donna says and Rose closes her eyes briefly at the Doctor’s sharp breath. “I don’t know if I will ever be able to do that. Not after he lied to me, and Granddad, and even Mum.” Donna sighs and takes Rose’s hand briefly. “But, I am glad he has you back, Rose. Not just for his sake. For ours, too. Because, this proves, that _idiot_ should not be left on his own. He needs you. And _we_ all need you, too. To watch him.”

Rose nods, murmuring, “Yeah. I know.” She does, right down to her bones, she knows this. But as important, and true, as what Donna says is, it’s not why she will stay with him. She’ll stay because she wants to be with him. To be the one to show him he deserves to be loved. Because wherever the Doctor is, that’s her home.

Donna gives Rose a sharp nod, looks to the Doctor and frowns once again before saying, “I think, it might be time for you to go, Doctor.”

He doesn’t say anything, just looks to the floor and starts walking to the door. Before he can pull them too far from Donna, Rose slips a piece of paper from her pocket and passes it to the other woman. Maybe it’s pointless, but Rose can’t help but hope, as she hands over the TARDIS number, that one day Donna might be ready to forgive him.

Turning to the Doctor, Rose can see the question in his eyes, but she shakes her head softly, offering him a weak smile that he tries so hard to return. Hand in hand, they walk back to the TARDIS.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Having sent the TARDIS into the vortex, the Doctor leans over the console, breathing deeply. He knew that when Donna found out what had happened, what he’d done, she was going to be angry, but he wasn’t prepared for how it would feel, to have her look at him, like he was a monster. He supposes she’s not entirely wrong.

A soft hand covers his and he startles when Rose appears beside him. She looks up at him and there’s worry in her eyes. For him. He hangs his head. There’s no way he deserves her concern.

“Doctor,” she murmurs, “Doctor, please. Talk to me.”

“And say _what_ , Rose?” he mutters, turning away and moving around the console. She takes a step back and a deep breath. He grimaces; even as he said it, he’d known it was the wrong thing. He looks back at her. “Rose, I, do we… Is there a point?”

Rose’s face goes blank and he feels his stomach plummet at her sharp nod and the ways she states, “Apparently not.”

Before he can reply, or apologise, or beg her to stay, she’s turning and walking into the depths of the TARDIS, tension obvious in every long stride she takes away from him. He slams his hands down on the console and sighs. He’s a complete idiot. It wasn’t long ago, a few days at most, that he told her he’d try to be more open with her. And the first time she asks, he messes it up entirely. Taking a few steps back, he falls into the jump seat and leans back, staring at the time rotor.

He should have taken Rose somewhere else first. A pleasure planet, or maybe somewhere deserted, in the distant past perhaps. The Doctor sighs. The first place should have been somewhere beautiful, unique, somewhere that would remind her just why she first travelled with him. Not to see the results of his selfish behaviour.

Leaning forwards the Doctor buries his head in his hands. Donna’s angry stare is mingling with Rose’s blank look and he’s not sure which is worse right now. Actually, he is. He was prepared, as much as he could be, for Donna to hate him, to hit him even. Nothing will ever prepare him for Rose’s beautiful, expressive face going blank. Watching her walk away, even if it’s still inside the TARDIS, has not gotten any easier. He wonders, what is he _meant_ to tell her? Words may be his greatest weapon, but he’s never been one for _talking_. If he doesn’t talk to Rose though, how long will he have with her? She’s made it perfectly clear that she needs him to talk to her.

The Doctor can admit, to himself at least, that he’s scared to talk to Rose. Because what if she tells him that Donna was right, that he needs someone with him, and it’s for the best if it’s her? What if that’s why she’s with him now, not because she wants to work things out, but rather, she feels obligated?

It takes every ounce of courage he’s not sure he even has to stand up and take the walk down the corridors to Rose’s room. He sighs, hating that she’s in her room, not theirs, but he can’t blame her. The fault is his own. Instead he tries to hope, that one day, she’ll be ready to share a room with him again.

First though, first he has to prove that he can be the person Rose says he can be. The Doctor.

After a deep breath, he knocks on her door. For a moment, there’s silence before she pulls open the door and looks at him, her eyes red with unshed tears and a slight frown on her face. “What is it, Doctor?”

“Can we…” he says, “Rose, I’m sorry. I, think… can we talk?”

He waits, holding his breath while she studies him. Eventually, Rose nods and steps back, allowing him into her room. The Doctor blinks. The last time he’d been in her room, he was collecting the spare hand and at the time, it had looked as it always had, much like her room in Jackie’s apartment. Now there’s a more mature feel. The colours are softer and it’s tidier, clothes hanging up, the dresser organised.

He looks to Rose, where she sits in the middle of her bed and tries to break the tension. “Your room, it’s changed. I like it,” he says with a small smile.

Giving him a half smile in return, she just nods, patting the bed in front of her. Head down, he slips his shoes off and sits cross-legged before her. Eventually, she asks, “Why, why’d you choose to go there first?”

Looking up, the Doctor stares at her for a moment, mouth open before he lets out a small, breathy not quite laugh. It’s Rose, he should have expected her to know just where to start this conversation. He swallows, admitting, “Because, I, I wanted to prove, to you, that I was, I _am_ really, trying, to do the right thing.”

“Okay, I sort of understand that, but,” she says, and then frowns, biting her lip. Sometimes, he wishes he could know what she’s thinking. Finally, she continues. “But, Doctor, you had to, had to know that Donna, she wasn’t gonna be happy.”

He nods slightly, almost whispering, “I did. I did, but Rose, I didn’t expect it…”

“Expect what, Doctor?” Rose asks, resting her hand on his knee as he tries to find the words.

“I didn’t expect that, that it would be so hard. When she looked at me,” his voice drops to a whisper, “like I was a monster. Donna, she saw me, at my worst but, even then, she didn’t…”

Rose looks at him, confusion apparent and he realises, she doesn’t know. Something as simple as meeting Donna and he never told her. The Doctor takes a breath and says, “The first time I met Donna, I’d only just… I’d lost you and just seconds after, after our goodbye, she appeared, in the TARDIS.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I wasn’t really, in the best place. I saved her, but, I almost… I was going to, I was-”

“You were going to let yourself drown,” she states, frowning. The Doctor blinks, unsure how she… _Oh_. Donna’s alternate universe.

Ashamed, he looks down at his lap and tells Rose what happened after their time for goodbye ran out. He explains how Donna appeared on the TARDIS, out of nowhere, yelling at him for kidnapping her. How even that had reminded him of what he’d lost. He almost smiles when he talks about getting Donna to her wedding, well, reception by the time they arrived.

“Every woman, dancing at the reception, Rose, all I could see was you,” he whispers, still unable to look at her. He speaks her of discovering that Torchwood was involved, of discovering that Lance, Donna’s then-fiancé, was working with the Racnoss. When he explains how he drowned the last of the Racnoss, under the Thames, he chances a brief glance at her. Rose is watching him, worrying at her lip. “If Donna hadn’t… If I’d been alone, Rose, I would have just stayed. She saved me. More than once.”

Resting her hand on his knee, Rose asks, “Tell me about her?”

Stroking her hand, the Doctor nods and starts talking. About how Donna turned him down at first, and how if she hadn’t he might never have met Martha. He smiles as he relates the story of the Adipose, and how he met Donna again, Rose giggling as he demonstrates their miming. The sound lightens him, making it easier to continue. He tells her of the trip to Pompeii and the way Donna had stood beside when he’d had to press the button. Rose squeezes his knee, the gesture meaning more to him than any words she might have offered.

When he talks of the Ood and freeing them, she smiles at him and he suspects, like him, Rose is glad they could be freed. Fondly, he explains that when Martha and Donna met, he expected an argument, instead, he points out that he was reminded of when she met Sarah Jane. The Doctor has a small chuckle at Rose’s slight embarrassment. He explains how the three of them, they saved the world and he met yet another mother who didn’t like him. When Rose giggles at him, he pouts.

He briefly considers telling her of what followed, but while he knows he should tell her, the Doctor can’t yet bring himself to talk of Jenny. He will, one day, sooner, rather than later, but not today. Instead he tells Rose of how he and Donna met, and solved a mystery with, Agatha Christie, involving a large jewel and a giant wasp.

Running his spare hand through his hair once more, he briefly covers their trip to the library, admitting that Donna was not happy about being trapped in a virtual reality. He mentions River, frowning. Rose raises an eyebrow at him, questioning, and he admits River knew his old nickname and it _still_ makes him uncomfortable. When she asks why, he explains there shouldn’t be anyone who still knows that name, as it was only ever used by his people. When she asks what it is, he shakes his head with a small laugh, determining not to give her any more ammunition to tease him with.

Skipping the events of Midnight, not wanting to relive them, the Doctor instead tells of the brief trip to Shan Shen. He confesses to being terrified at finding the Earth gone from the sky. He’s proud as he talks of Donna’s speech at the Shadow Proclamation, her pride in being human and every bit as important as Time Lords.

He trails off after that, thinking. Donna really is important, much more than she knew then. And more than she understands now. Especially to him.

It’s because of how important she is that something she said is still bothering him. He’s been trying to ignore it. Because he’s sure it’s not why Rose is travelling with him again. But, he’s not completely sure, because maybe, maybe Donna’s right and Rose knows it, too.

Rose takes his hand and asks, “Doctor, what is it? There’s something, it’s bothering you, isn’t it?”

“Donna said, she said I need you. And I do. But, she said, that everyone needs you, to, to watch me.” He holds her hand, staring at how well they fit. He’s quiet for a while, glad when Rose simply stays with him, waiting in a comforting silence, letting him find the courage to murmur, “I’m scared, that you’re only here, with me now, because of that. Because you feel,” he swallows, “like _you_ have to watch me.”

Pulling his hand towards her, Rose cups his cheek and the Doctor leans into it. She offers him a small smile, saying, “I’m not gonna lie. Donna’s right-” He flinches, trying to pull back “-You do need someone. Even _you_ , Doctor, know that. But,” she pulls him closer and wraps him in a slightly awkward hug that he rushes to return, grateful for her warmth as she quietly continues, “I’m here, Doctor, ‘cause I want to be. Here, with you. Because wherever you are, that’s home.”

Relief fills him and, in his joy, he turns his head and kisses her. It’s desperate and messy, and there’s tongue and teeth, and it feels like everything he’s missed while she wasn’t here. He’s not sure how it happens, but suddenly Rose is lying back on the bed. Pushing softly at his chest, she breaks from him. She’s flushed and, to him, she’s never looked more beautiful. But she’s moving so she can sit up and his hearts stutter.

“Doctor,” she whispers, “I can’t…”

The Doctor moves back, off the bed and he can feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He wants to curl in on himself, to hide, anything to stop the pain those words cause. He nods, and mutters, “I, I understand.”

Head down, he steps towards the door, wanting to run, but hearing Rose jump up behind him. He’s at the door when she takes his hand, turning him back towards her. He can’t bring himself to look at her, but when she places her hand back on his cheek, he raises his eyes to hers. She brings her other hand up, smoothing his brow.

“I can’t, _now_. Not yet, Doctor.” She smiles a little in response to his wide and, he suspects, very hopeful eyes. “I want to, yeah. But, I’m still… I need to be sure, about, well, everything, with us. So, I’m gonna need a bit more time, okay? Before we continue-” She gestures between them “-This. But hopefully, Doctor, we will.”

Leaning down, the Doctor places a gentle kiss on Rose’s cheek and murmurs, “Okay, Rose.”

Before he can move to far away, she looks serious again, saying, “But Doctor, remember, you can’t… You need to talk to me. You do _not_ yell at me, yeah? ‘Cause, I’m not gonna hang around, if you do.” Dropping his head, ashamed of his earlier actions, the Doctor nods, whispering his agreement. “‘Kay. How ‘bout while I make a cuppa, you take us somewhere amazing to enjoy it?”

Elated that she hasn’t left, that she wants them to be together again, that she’s willing to forgive him once more, the Doctor grabs Rose’s hand, dragging her from her room, proclaiming, “Rose Tyler, I know just the place!”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about wait, hopefully it doesn't disappoint. But the Doctor and Rose are moving forward, though, there's a slight complication. We're nearing the end, only a chapter or 2 to follow.

Looking around at where they’ve landed, Rose smiles. He hasn’t told her where they are, or when, but it’s quiet and beautiful, peaceful. It’s exactly what they need after the emotional upheaval of helping Donna. According to the Doctor, it’s also entirely deserted and will remain so for another millennia. The grass is soft and green, greener than she’s ever seen. She breathes deeply, biting her lip as a familiar scent washes over her. “New Earth?” she asks.

The Doctor nods, offering his hand, which she looks at before placing his tea in it. He blinks at the cup and she giggles. “Ah, tea, right,” he says, “I guess I forgot about the tea.” After he grabs the offered cup, Rose takes his empty hand and returns his growing smile.

Sipping her tea, she lets the Doctor lead them on a short walk. A few minutes pass and she’s looking out over a bay, trying to understand why it looks so familiar. Rose turns her head, looking down along the beach below. When she imagines a large building at the end, she gasps. “Is this, this is where we sat, that second first trip, yeah?”

The Doctor sits and Rose lets herself be pulled down to the grass beside him. Still holding her hand, he says, “Yep. I thought, well, I thought it’s sort of, _our_ place.” He looks down, blushing, and she moves closer, letting her weight rest against him, just a little. She smiles softly to herself as he starts talking again, explaining how at their current point in time, the planet is unnamed, and will remain so for centuries yet, waiting for a nostalgic human to come along. He whispers, “I wanted somewhere, for us. Alone.”

Unable to help herself, she turns her head, rising up just enough to drop a soft, chaste kiss on his cheek. At the gesture, she can feel the tension drain out of him and she’s glad. For a time, they sit in silence, finishing their teas. Draining hers, Rose places the cup on the ground and then moves even closer to the Doctor, resting her head on his shoulder. After a moment, she feels his head rest against hers and she lets out a quiet breath. Once, moments like this weren’t that uncommon between them, but after the Crucible, after Bad Wolf Bay, he never seemed to want to stop, to take the time to be just them. It’s more than a bit surprising to her, that he chose to bring them somewhere quiet like this, but she finds it even more reassuring that he’s relearning how to sit still, with her, again.

After a few minutes of comfortable, companionable, silence pass, Rose feels the Doctor take a deep breath. Before she can ask if he’s okay, he starts talking and time seems to fade away as he begins opening up.

A few weeks later, Rose is unsure how many, she’s standing on a cold planet in the middle of the market and laughing quietly. The Doctor is a few stalls down; haggling over what she assumes is a part for their ship. Even from a distance she can see his enthusiasm, the way he’s almost bouncing. He’s alive and animated, and if he turns around often to see her, smile at her, she doesn’t mind. She’s been doing much the same.

She knows, _he_ knows, each of them can look after themselves. She’s not going to run off, leaving him behind, nor is he going to go far without her. It’s not because of fear, or worry, that they keep finding each other, Rose is certain. The Doctor, she suspects, does it because he likes knowing she’s nearby. She does it, simply because she can. Because for so long, she wasn’t sure she would see him again. And for a time, she was unsure if she’d ever travel with him again. Now, she’s enjoying his presence, even if it’s not right by her side.

As she makes a slow loop around the market, always able to see the Doctor, Rose smiles. It’s a lovely market, less busy than many they’ve been to, one of the very few cold climate markets around, apparently. She doesn’t notice the temperature so much anymore, a nice benefit of her no longer human body. She loves exploring the alien marketplaces they visit and this one is no exception.

Though, it’s something she can’t help noticing, that in the weeks, or maybe it’s a month, since helping Donna, their travels have taken them to more places like this, places where the biggest threats involve insects, or sunburn, maybe a slight sniffle in this case.

It’s not that Rose minds. Some of the planets she’s quite sure the TARDIS, rather than her pilot, is taking them too, are beautiful. Many of them, like their second first trip to New Earth, at the times they’ve been landing, are uninhabited. Instead of saving the day, they’ll explore, maybe have a picnic and, more importantly, it’s in places like that, where it’s only them, the Doctor will talk to her, and she’ll open up to him as well.

She’s learnt about her new physiology and some of its quirks, though, apparently she’ll find out more by herself as time passes. But more importantly, she thinks, she’s been told of Martha, and the Master, Donna, and Jenny. He has even admitted to why he left Jack behind. The Doctor’s even told her some of his much longer history, back into his much younger years.

With each new piece of himself he shares with her, Rose feels herself trusting him, a fraction more. It helps that he also offers her quiet support as she tells of her life in Pete’s World, of the few joys and many horrors of travelling with the Dimension Cannon. Even if the events leading up to it were not ones she cares to repeat, she’s glad that the Doctor is finally talking, and listening, to her.

Shaking her head, she spares a glance in his direction before pausing at a stall holding scarves. They’re long, made out of something that looks a lot like wool, but feels much softer. There’s an almost TARDIS blue one that she wants to get for the Doctor and a vibrant red scarf she wants for herself.

The local woman running the stalls smiles at her, offering outrageous compliments and gently stroking her hand. Rose grins. It’s been a while since anyone flirted with her, other than the Doctor, anyway. Unable to resist the urge, she smiles back at the woman, hint of tongue between her teeth. She’s just asking the price when a hand slips into her own.

Rose turns her head, about to smile up at the Doctor. The budding smile falls at the look on his face, not quite a glare, but definitely heading in that direction. She squeezes his hand and whispers his name, a little frustrated, but trying to give him a chance. He’s always been the jealous type, but sometimes it can be too much and it feels to her, like he doesn’t trust her. He focuses on her and whatever he sees reassures him, his face clearing and a grin forming.

Pulling on his arm, she tugs him down, enough so she can whisper, “Doctor, can I...”

“Yes, Rose?” he asks, a wide smile on his face, like he’ll offer her the universe if she asks. She squashes the little voice that says he probably would.

“Can I have a credit stick?” she answers, grinning as he rolls his eyes at her.

“Oh, I see,” he groans, “Only reason you keep me around, Rose Tyler?”

Poking her tongue out and nodding, Rose takes the credit stick from him, buying the two scarves. Turning back to him, she wraps the blue one around his neck. Then, because he hasn’t acted like a git, instead trusting her to choose him, she pecks him on the cheek and murmurs, “My Doctor.”

The Doctor doesn’t say a word, but takes the red one from her, wrapping it around her neck. Smiling softly at her, he nods. “Your Doctor.”

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

He can hear Rose walking into the console room before she calls, “Doctor?”

Popping out from under the console, he looks up at her, standing over him and a hundred ideas flash through his mind, about ways he could worship her. Shaking his head, the Doctor smiles up at her, realising she’s been talking and he’s missed all of it. Sitting up, he asks, “Uh, what was that about Jack?”

Rose lets out an amused sigh, ruffling his hair and he knows she’s trying not to giggle at his pout. He really doesn’t mind; she’s been happier during the past few weeks, and if she wants to laugh at him sometimes, well, he’s fine with being a bit of a clown for her. But only sometimes, he tells himself, still knowing that if she asked, he’d dig out a shiny red nose and giant shoes, or just a horrid multi-coloured coat still buried in the TARDIS wardrobe. Blinking, he makes himself focus on her words.

“Jack called, mostly to check up on us, I reckon. But, he asked if we’d visit,” Rose says, “Well, me, but he said you could come along too.” He wonders if those were the words Jack actually used and doubts it.

“Of course we can, Rose!” he replies, jumping to his feet and setting the coordinates.

Stepping up beside him, Rose adds, “He also asked, if we could help him with something. A signal or something, but their equipment isn’t enough. I said we’d help, yeah?” The Doctor rolls his eyes a little, suspecting that it’s nothing, but Rose catches him at it and frowns. “You know, it’s okay to ask for help, Doctor. The world doesn’t end if you admit that, you can’t do everything alone.”

Pulling Rose in for a hug, the Doctor whispers an apology. She’s right, he knows, and tells her so. Stepping back, he makes a snap decision and turns her towards the console. “Want to learn how to fly her?”

Teaching Rose to pilot the TARDIS makes him smile. She’s jumping around the console, pressing buttons and flicking switches, and he can’t help but wonder why he didn’t teach her sooner. But, as he grabs the railing as she prepares to land, he tells himself to stop thinking of the things he hasn’t done with her and look forward to things they _will_ do, always together.

The TARDIS lands with a slight bump and Rose lets go of the console, turning to him and cheering, “Hah! Smooth landing! How’s that for a first try?”

“You, Rose Tyler, are a natural!” the Doctor says, scooping her up into a celebratory hug. Well, if she asks, that’s what he’ll tell her. Really, he just wanted to hug her again, hold her for a moment. Rose wraps her arms tightly around him and he’s just about to take a chance, for the first time since that disastrous day with Donna. He wants to kiss her, but their moment is lost when there’s a loud knock on the door.

“Rose! Get your sexy butt out here!” yells Jack.

Sighing, the Doctor releases Rose and nods towards the door. “You had best go out and talk to him, before he tries to break the door down.”

Slipping from his grip, Rose heads out the door and he watches as she runs into Jack’s arms for a hug, smiling at the other man. Turning away and trying to squash down the urge to pull her back into the TARDIS, the Doctor picks up his suit jacket from the jump seat, putting it on and slowly walking to the door. By the time he steps out of the TARDIS, she’s is over by Mickey’s desk, chatting quietly. There’s mention of Gwen’s rapidly approaching due date. But it’s the news of Mickey’s date with Martha that makes the Doctor smile as Rose slaps the other man on the shoulder, grinning.

“So, Doc,” Jack says from behind. The Doctor turns to face him as Jack continues, “You know, that was good timing, I only called Rose six hours ago.”

“Well, that was all Rose,” the Doctor admits with a shrug, not quite able to hide his pride as she walks up beside him, smiling. “Apparently, she’s brilliant at flying the TARDIS.”

Jack raises his eyebrows and smiles at Rose. Before the Captain can be distracted, the Doctor gestures towards the small meeting room, suggesting the members of Torchwood explain why they might need help. Jack calls Mickey over to join them as they head into the small boardroom.

Rose sits beside him and the Doctor smiles as she slips her hand into his as they listen. Her thumb strokes his knuckles and he finds it hard to focus, eventually turning their hands and entwining their fingers. Turning his full attention to Jack, the Doctor’s smile fades as the man explains the strange signal they’ve been picking up, just outside Earth’s atmosphere. Mickey quickly explains that through some less than legal means, he’s confirmed that Torchwood are the only ones aware of the signal, but they haven’t been able to identify the precise source.

The Doctor frowns, considering the number of species that can hide such a signal and why any of them would be hanging around near Earth. He quickly narrows the list down but until he hears it, he can’t be say for sure who might be producing it. Or what it’s saying. He quickly asks Jack if he can hear it, trying to ignore the sense of unease that passes through him. Telling himself it’s nothing, he shakes his head, taking Rose’s hand and following the Torchwood team back out to the computers.

As soon as Mickey plays the signal, the Doctor sighs. It is one he’s familiar with, having heard it before and not sure he would ever hear it again. Not looking at anyone, unable to face them, he mutters, “I know it. It’s of Mirzati origin. They’re a peaceful race, or they were. That signal, it’s a message. It says.” He swallows and looks at Jack, saying, “It basically calls for support. ‘Suitable planet found. Low level inhabitants. Assistance required for clearing.’”

“Clearing?” Rose asks, quietly. He looks down at her, opening his mouth and then shutting it as she comes up with her own, correct, conclusion. “They mean clearing it of us, right? Of the people?”

The Doctor nods once, frowning, trying to work out why Mirzati currently sit above Earth, planning to take the planet. The Mirzati are known for being peaceful, for extending the hand of friendship to other worlds, opening trade and communication, not conquering them. Though, he knows that it was never because they couldn’t but rather that they preferred not to. Why, he wonders, have they decided to take the path of destruction now?

Dragging his hand down his face, the Doctor looks between Rose, who’s staring into the distance with a slight frown on her face, and the Torchwood team, who are all watching him, waiting. Finally he slips into the TARDIS, barely aware of everyone following him. Stepping up to the console, he quickly interrupts the Mirzati signal and sends his own message back to them. Rose steps up beside him to ask what he’s sending. He explains, “I’m telling them Earth is defended and I will not let it be ‘cleared.’” Looking at her, he sighs, adding a little more to the message. “I’m also asking why they’re in this part of the galaxy. And if they need help.”

Rose smiles up at him and he’s sure he’s made the right decision. Minutes pass in silence as they wait for a response. The Doctor offers Rose a small smile and gently pulls her in for hug. When she steps into his arms, he smiles. Glancing over her head, he can see Jack and Mickey watching closely. He drops his eyes. They’re watching him, he knows, wondering if they can trust him with the safety of their home. And, perhaps more importantly, trust him with the safety of Rose.

There’s a loud beeping and he laughs softly as Rose jumps. Letting her go, the Doctor turns to the monitor and listens to the new message. He frowns, turning to Jack. “They want to talk, in person.” Jack nods and the Doctor begins typing up the new message.

Before he’s finished, there’s a flash of blue light outside the TARDIS and the Doctor sighs. Three of them have appeared inside the Hub. The Mirzati are different to the race he remembers. The last time he encountered them, they considered appearing on another’s planet without direct invitation a grave insult. Without a thought, he takes Rose’s hand and steps out of the TARDIS, waiting for Jack and Mickey to follow them.

For a moment there is almost a standoff, humans and Time Lords on one side, Mirzati on the other. The Mirzati are tall, at least seven foot each, a basic humanoid shape, but with dark red fur and sharp claws. Though, until today, he knew their fierce appearance belied their gentle nature, now he’s unsure and he does not like it. He steps forward, moving in front of Rose, just enough to feel that she’s safer. As the silence drags on, the Doctor thinks he could laugh, if the situation wasn’t so serious.

“Who sent the message?” the tallest Mirzati asks, “When we found this planet, there was no sign the primitive inhabitants would be capable of such a thing.”

The Doctor drops Rose’s hand, stepping forward, saying, “I did. Though, the ‘primitive inhabitants’ found your signal, even if they couldn’t understand it.” Giving them a false grin, he continues, “But me? I can understand it. I can even send a reply!”

One of the other Mirzati growls and the Doctor drops his grin. The leader of the aliens moves towards him, speaking. “I am Orrak, leader of the scouting party. I am given all rights to negotiate any needed diplomatic solutions.” Orrak curls his lip, showing his fangs as he adds, “Or surrenders. You are not of this planet, yet you present yourself at their speaker?” The Doctor nods. “Then, who are you?”

Standing straighter, all pretence of amusement gone, the Doctor says, “I am the last of the Time Lords. The Doctor.”

The second he finishes speaking, Orrak launches himself, the Mirzati’s hidden bone blade slipping out of his arm. Before the Doctor can move, the blade rests at his throat as the alien growls down at him. “You! You and your people,” the alien spits, “are responsible for the slow death of our planet, of our people! Give me a reason why I should not kill you this second?”

Before anyone can even blink, Rose is beside him, pushing at the Mirzati’s arm, and somewhere, in the part of his mind not concerned with the blade at his throat, the Doctor wonders if she’s discovered how a Time Lord can move _through_ time. Not taking his eyes from Orrak, he keeps his breaths shallow as Rose puts pressure on the large alien to release him.

“Because, despite what you think, that man, he saved everyone,” Rose says, “If he hadn’t ended the Time War, you wouldn’t be here now. And…” She pauses and the Doctor can feel her tension before she continues. “If you kill him, you won’t live to see another day. On this planet, or any other.”

Rose carefully pushes the blade away from the Doctor’s throat. She could force the Mirzati to move it, she’s strong enough to, but she doesn’t. That’s not Rose, he knows. But the gesture is enough and Orrak steps back, sword slipping back into his skin.

“I will not kill him. For now.” Orrak says, narrowing his large yellow eyes. “But I will not let him speak for a planet not his own.” 

The Doctor goes to open his mouth, but before he can, Rose steps between him and the Mirzati, presenting herself. Throwing away his demands to speak for Earth, he instead whispers, “Rose, please. Don’t.”

Looking back over her shoulder at him, she shakes her head minutely, mouthing, ‘Trust me,’ at him. The Doctor gulps, holding her eyes for a moment. She’s pleading with him to step back, to trust her, to let her take charge. After what feels like too long and not long enough, he accepts her choice. If she believes she can do this, he should have faith. This is Rose, and if there is anyone he should believe in, it’s her. He offers her a tiny nod and steps back.

Standing beside Jack, the Doctor watches, muscles tense, ready to jump in if she needs him, but otherwise, he lets Rose take charge. She straightens up and the change in her is almost visible. There’s no fear in her, just strength, as she assesses the Mirzati contingent. Sometimes he forgets how much she’s been through, how much she’s grown, but right now, it’s glaring obvious This isn’t the shop girl he rescued once, or the young traveller stolen from him. This is a woman who has seen the best and worst the universe has to offer, has stood on the winning side of a war, and the losing, and each time, she’s refused to give up.

When Jack nudges his shoulder, the Doctor looks up at the man and can’t help but think that he must share the same look of pride. She is still _Rose_ , the one who makes people better, makes them want to better, but she’s also grown up, found out that she’s strong enough to fight, on her own if need be.

After a moment, her assessment of the aliens seems complete and Rose declares, “I will speak for this planet.”

“We will make that decision,” Orrak replies, “You are not human. Why should you concern yourself with what happens to this planet?”

“That’s true. I’m not human. Anymore,” Rose says and the Doctor squashes down the mix of guilt and relief. “But I was. I was born here. I lived here for most of my life. This was my home. And, it is still home, to all but one of the people I care most about.” She steps forward and he flinches as Orrak’s arm twitches, but Rose doesn’t blink. “This planet has and always will be _mine_. And I. Will. Defend it.”

Orrak nods sharply, agreeing, “Fine. You can speak for this world.”

Rose’s glare fades into a grin and the Mirzati look at her in confusion. Briefly, the Doctor wonders how often she’s used that trick to set people off centre. As she leads the aliens to the small boardroom, he shares a look with Jack and Mickey, a sense of pride and amusement, and slight embarrassment, passing between them. They’ve all, at some point, been confused and completely outwitted by Rose and her smile.

Jack gestures towards the computers and the Doctor’s stunned as Mickey complies easily. He forgets sometimes, watching the young man settle in at his desk, that Rose isn’t the only one who’s had a chance to grow up, to learn who she can be. He smiles at the thought before gesturing to Jack. They turn, as one, heading into the board room. Without needing to say a word, they take a seat either side of Rose.

When he enters the room, Rose is already sitting on one side of the table, the Mirzati on the other. As he sits beside her, he slips his hand under the table, squeezing her knee and when she glances in his direction, he offers her small smile, nodding towards the Mirzati, hoping she understands. He’s here as support, but she’s in charge. He has faith in her, to do the best she can, for everyone. Squeezing her leg gently one last time, seeing her tiny smile, the Doctor lets go and, clasping his hands together, he rests them on the table in front of him, waiting for Rose to begin.

The Doctor, rather than looking at the Mirzati, watches Rose, listening to her take a deep breath, and another, as she gathers herself. He can see her mind working, the way her eyes study the large aliens, and he suspects she’s weighing what she sees against the little information she has.

After a few minutes, she breaks the silence. “I’m Rose Tyler,” she says, then points to Jack, “This is Jack Harkness. And the Doctor you already know.”

The aliens all glare at him and he can see Rose grimacing. He’s beginning to suspect why they hate him so much, but it isn’t easy to see. Especially the effect it has on Rose. The Doctor wants to tell them, that they can hate him as much as they want but that she has done nothing to earn their hatred.

Finally, the Mirzati break the tense silence. “I am Orrak,” the leader says, then gestures to his left, “Valit,” and right, “Ferri.”

The Doctor can see Rose nod, glancing in his direction before turning back to Orrak. He’s almost surprised when she skips any pleasantries and simply says, “Now that the introductions are taken care of, why don’t you tell me why you’re here? What you want with Earth?”

He can see Orrak blink and he almost laughs at the alien’s surprise. How often do people continue to underestimate her, he wonders, himself amongst them. She’s quick thinking and resilient in ways he isn’t, but no one ever seems to be able to predict her actions. But for this, maybe that’s better.

As the Mirzati begin their story, the Doctor lets his attention slip from them. Instead he chooses to keep his focus on Rose. To watch her, quite probably, save the world.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a problem to sort and the happy ending, or beginning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, we've reached the end! Thanks to everyone who's left comments and encouragement, never would have made it without it!
> 
> And because it should be shared, there's a [playlist](http://fogsblue.tumblr.com/post/86121047795/a-playlist-for-the-amazing-fic-chase-the-dark-by), some amazing art, [here](http://fogsblue.tumblr.com/post/94174306950/licieoic-chase-the-dark-digital-oil) and [here](http://fogsblue.tumblr.com/post/94291324315/anni-draws-he-lays-down-facing-her-and-she), by fantastically brilliant people that should be checked out!

Rose waits. Having asked the questions that were needed, she wants to give the Mirzati time to answer. She found, working with Torchwood in Pete’s World, that pushing for answers rarely gave good results. Agreements were nearly always easier to reach when the other side of the table was given somewhere to begin and then left to talk at their own speed.

Finally, Orrak says, “If you have heard our message, then you understand exactly why we are here.”

“Why don’t you explain it to me, please,” Rose says, wanting more details. Her experiences also tell her that jumping to conclusions can end in disaster. She takes a deep breath, clearing away the memories, noticing the Doctor leaning forward and Jack mimicking him.

For a moment, Orrak looks thoughtful. “Within reach of our home, there are only three planets that are suitable for us,” he says. “While it is not in our nature to fight or conquer and though we are technologically advanced...”

The Doctor scoffs quietly, the noise interrupting Orrak, before he mutters under his breath, “‘Technologically advanced’, hah!”

Rose closes her eyes, sighing at her idiot’s words. It’s apparent Orrak hears the Doctor too for the Mirzati abruptly stands, slamming his large fists on the table. He glares down at Rose, growling, “I do not care if he is part of your entourage, should he continue to be disrespectful, I will kill him myself before we continue.”

The Doctor stands just as she does and he’s preparing to yell when she turns to him, glaring, angrily spitting out, “Sit, Doctor!” 

She waits, watching his eyes go wide but, after seconds of searching her face, he sits back down and Rose turns back to the aliens. Slamming her own hands on the table, she leans forward, her face only inches from the Mirzati’s. “You will not threaten _anyone_ in my party again, or this conversation will end now!” She can feel the Doctor’s eyes on her, can almost feel the panic as she continues. “If this conversation ends now… Right now, there’s hope for your people, and mine. Don’t throw it away because someone can’t sit silently!” She frowns at the Doctor and he sits back in his seat, bowing his head, and she takes that as his agreement. “So, Orrak, please, sit down. Let’s find a way to fix this.”

Eventually Orrak gives her a sharp nod, sitting down as she does. Rose smothers her sigh of relief, briefly turning to the Doctor to give him a sharp look, a warning she hopes he heeds this time. 

Turning back to the Mirzati, she asks, “Please, continue.”

Rose listens, taking mental notes as Orrak explains that while the Mirzati don’t wish to fight, they will, for their own survival. She nods; it’s an instinct in almost every species, no matter their time or place in the universe. Ferri speaks up, admitting that while they have much greater technology than Earth, there are many places and people with technology far more advanced than their own, including the other people on the other two suitable planets between their home and Earth.

The instant she hears the words ‘Time War’, Rose’s hearts clench. She spares a glance for the Doctor, whose head hangs forward, like he’s trying to take up less space. Later she will talk to him, but for now, she listens as the Mirzati tell their story. 

Their planet was not destroyed by the Time War. In that sense, they say they feel fortunate. But it was damaged, the ecosystem knocked out of balance, and resources that should have been replenishing themselves were dying out. The entire planet crumbles around them and, with it, their people. Where once they were so many, Orrak admits they’re disappearing, the elderly continue to pass on, but there are so few new children. Rose asks why, frowning as Ferri admits that their scientists have yet to determine exactly why their population is declining so steadily, but they suspect something in the food or water.

“That is why we look for another world,” Orrak says, and Rose can hear the defeat in his voice. “We chose yours as it is suitable for us. And more importantly, all our ships are capable of travelling this far.”

Rose nods, considering the tale the aliens have told. She sympathises with them, to watch their people die out, knowing they can do something to help, but understanding that to do so, may require taking responsibility for actions they are loathe to take. For them to help anyway requires much strength and courage. And she respects that, unable to find it in herself to blame them. But, looking Orrak in the eyes, she states, “I understand. But you will never have Earth.”

Orrak glares, spitting out, “So you would condemn my people to destruction, to slow and painful death?”

“No!” yells Rose. “I would never. We,” gesturing to include the Doctor and Jack, “would never intentionally send another race to destruction.”

“Especially not one harmed by my actions,” the Doctor says quietly. “I am so sorry.”

Rose shuts her eyes briefly, opening them to judge the Mirzati response to the Doctor’s words. She lets out a soft breath as Orrak sits more comfortably, his large shoulders dropping a tiny amount as he gives a small nod of acknowledgement. An apology is not going to solve the problem, but it means something to them and, for that, she’s glad. 

To Orrak, after a few moments of thought, she says, “I have a possible solution. If you’re willing to work with us.” 

Rose quickly, and she hopes clearly, lays out her idea. The universe is huge and, even limited to one time, surely there’s an empty planet out there that has what the Mirzati need. And if their ships can’t make the distance, than surely the TARDIS can help. It’s a simple plan, she thinks, but she can’t help the sense of pride as both the Doctor and Jack look at her, amazement apparent. Seconds later, the Doctor is charging out of the room, muttering about checking a few planets in the TARDIS memory banks and she lets out a small laugh. 

Orrak and his people quickly converse, before he turns back to her and says, “Your plan. It is acceptable, preferable even. Thank you, Rose Tyler.” 

Before she has a chance to explain or respond, to say it was nothing more than anyone else would do, Orrak, Valit, and Ferri are standing, offering her shallow bows. She can feel her cheeks heat up as she blushes slightly. Jack snickers softly and she turns, glaring down at him before turning back to the Mirzati with a smile.

It’s only moments later the Doctor runs back out of the TARDIS, proclaiming happily that he’s found the perfect planet, and really he should have known because he’s quite sure that the population there in three thousand years must be descended from the Mirzati. Rose quickly moves, covering his mouth to stop the rambling. 

Rose is almost, but not quite, surprised by how fast things move after that. It’s only a few days later that she and the Doctor stand in the TARDIS doors, watching the last of the Mirzati ships land on their new planet. His arm wraps around her and she rests her head on her shoulder, letting the stress of the past few days dissolve. It’s followed by a wave of happiness as the Doctor whispers how he is so very, very, proud of her

She turns her head, drops a quick kiss on his cheek, and smiles up at him, asking, “Time for an adventure, Doctor?”

Grabbing her hand, the Doctor pulls her over to the console. With her help, he sends them into the vortex, and sets Rose’s hearts beating faster as he grins at her, saying, “Always time for an adventure with you, Rose Tyler!”

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

After watching Mirzati settle on their new planet, the first trip the Doctor takes them on, with the TARDIS’ cooperation, is about two hundred years into the future. He still can’t believe how much Rose accomplished, without anyone being hurt, with nothing but words and her kindness. He wants to show her the Mirzati’s future in their new home, show her just how much she’s given them. 

However, staring up at the small statue not far from where they landed, the Doctor admits, he wasn’t expecting that. The statue is of Rose, shaking hands with Orrak, with him and Jack kneeling on either side of her, looking at her in adoration and awe. Technically speaking, it’s an impressive piece of work, he notes, and Rose seems to find it extremely amusing, giggling loudly and clutching her stomach. Her giggles change to all out laughter when she glances his direction and he suspects he’s pouting. After a moment of watching her, listening to the sound of her joy, he can’t help but join in. 

They spend the day there, the Doctor watching Rose closely as she takes in the sights and sounds of a people she’s helped save. For a while, she sits and watches a group of Mirzati children play, a soft smile on her face and he wonders briefly what she thinks about family. He squashes the thought quickly, though it’s still there, niggling quietly at him. To distract himself, he wanders over to a nearby food stall and grabs something for them to share.

At the end of the day, he lets Rose drag him back into the TARDIS. As soon as they’ve moved into the Vortex, he gets a surprise when she takes his hand, muttering about being tired and leading him to her room. The Doctor stands by the door, not sure what to do or what she wants. He’s scared he’ll jump to the wrong conclusion, that he’ll make a mistake. It’s the last thing he wants to do. 

Rose changes quickly in the bathroom before telling him there’s some pyjamas for him in there as well. He blinks at her and then smiles, running into the bathroom and getting ready for bed himself. For the first time since she’s come back, she’s asking him to stay with her for the night and, with just that simple step forward, he wants to shout his excitement to the universe. As he slips into her bed, she turns onto her side, facing him, and offers her hand. He takes it and, drifting off to sleep, he thinks it’s just like taking hold of hope.

As he watches her sleep and waits for Rose to wake, the Doctor smiles softly. It could be a few weeks, but he’s unsure and it’s more likely a couple of months, and he realises he doesn’t know anymore. He’s stopped keeping track of how long Rose has been back in this universe. Stopped thinking about how long since they shared a bed for anything but sleep. He no longer thinks of how long ago she walked out the TARDIS doors, leaving him behind. He’s even stopped counting the days since she came back, offering him yet another chance.

Instead, he now counts the seconds between Rose wandering off and him talking his way into trouble. He keeps track of how many times he’s saved her and how many times she’s saved him. Numbers he’ll never tell her as they prove just how hopeless he is without her. He notices the moments between her smiles and wonders how to make them shorter.

In some ways, it’s almost like the first time they travelled together, the joy of new places, the missed landings, places they never meant to go but where they’re needed anyway. The Doctor can’t help but grin. They’ve been running hand in hand again and it feels natural. Sometimes, he still feels the anger, the fear, when she’s in trouble, but now, now he’s learning to trust Rose, to let her make the choices, give the speeches, plan their escapes. To look after herself, and him. Every single trip, he feels more pride and more joy in the life they’re leading.

The Doctor sighs. At the same time though, with each lingering hug they share at the end of the day, with each slightly less chaste kiss she drops on his cheek or the corner of his mouth, with each night lying beside Rose, his frustration grows. He waited years to finally make love to her, to claim her as his own, and now, he can’t even wait months? But they feel like lifetimes he’s waited for her, and while he’ll wait another if Rose asks, he hopes that maybe she’ll be ready, sooner, rather than later. He pulls himself from her bed, looking down briefly and grimacing at the thought of another cold morning shower.

Finishing his shower and getting dressed, he huffs. He’s clean and maybe a little less uncomfortable, but there’s no denying it, even to himself; he’s still incredibly ready. And a short while later, she strolls into the console room, hair damp from her shower, and oh, that image adds to his increasing frustration. But, she’s wearing a huge smile and the Doctor pushes aside everything else, choosing to focus on the excitement of another day, another time and place, always with Rose. 

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

As adventures for her and the Doctor normally go, Rose has to admit, this is something like a regular Wednesday. If it is Wednesday, she’s still not sure, for all the Doctor insists that she should be able to feel time, to tell how much has passed, how much is passing, she’s never quite got the hang of it. Most of the time, she’s lucky if she has any idea how long she sleeps each night. And if a certain Time Lord tells her once more that she really only needs to sleep every three or four days, she’s going to start beating him over the head with the bananas he insists on leaving on her floor.

Shaking her head, she looks out over the large village they’d landed near that morning. The Oallier had been friendly and welcoming, admiring her and the Doctor. Rose sighs. At least, until the Doctor had caught sight of their ‘Goddess’ and started laughing. Out loud. Proclaiming that what they were worshipping was nothing more than a plant common to a nearby planet, he’d continued laughing.

Apparently the Oallier do not take kindly to having their beliefs ridiculed by a visitor. And okay, Rose thinks, maybe stepping away from the Doctor to let him get taken to jail was a bit mean, but at least this way, she can rescue him. Again. One more to her tally, she thinks, grinning.

Rose walks towards the jail, which is really just a simple cage made out of something that looks like bamboo. The Doctor’s sitting inside, wearing an expression somewhere between a grimace and a grin. On any other face, she’d assume something was seriously wrong, but on him, well, she’s seen odder expressions and she still wants him anyway.

She always wants him now, in every way, even when he’s getting himself, and often her, into trouble. Or when he’s just woken up, or when he’s lying down beside her, holding her through the night. There’s still a sense of unease she hasn’t quite shaken yet, that’s stopping her from taking that step. The Doctor responds to every hug, every small kiss, he cuddles her and he talks to her. But he never starts more than a hug, never asks for more than a hand to hold, and each day his patience chips away at her remaining nervousness, leaving her wanting more. 

Reaching the cage, Rose shakes her head, trying to focus on ‘rescuing’ the Doctor and not taking advantage of the situation. She grins down at him and says, “You know, Doctor, you claim to know so much about ‘primitive’ cultures but how many times have you been arrested for insulting the local Gods?”

“Weeell,” the Doctor says, looking thoughtful, like he’s actually planning on answering.

Not willing to risk that incredibly long list, Rose quickly cuts him off, “No, don’t tell me, really don’t wanna know.”

Turning to the Oallier beside her, she gestures to the cage and the Doctor, trying to explain without words that the Doctor is truly sorry and she will take responsibility for him, if they’ll free him.

Rose is thankful when they’re understanding and release him into her custody. Though she gets the impression the Oallier are confused, mostly about why she’s with him, but she just smiles and takes the Doctor’s hand. The second he opens his mouth, she clamps her spare hand over it and shakes her head at him. 

“Oh no, I just got you out of there,” she says, “I’m not letting you get us both thrown in there with whatever you’re about to say now!” Rose feels his mouth open, but before she can move her hand, the Doctor licks it and she squeaks. Pulling her hand away, she wipes is on her jeans as he grins at her, but remains silent. Rose narrows her eyes at him. “You’re like a kid sometimes, Doctor. But less likely to behave.”

Leaning in, his breath on her ear, he whispers, “Oh, I can behave _very_ well, Rose, you should see me.”

She can feel her cheeks heating up and she turns to look at him, but he’s walking off, hands in his pockets and whistling a jaunty tune. Trying to stop the imagines of a less dressed and more behaved Doctor, Rose shakes her head and quickly walks up behind him, running her hand down his back, stopping just above his bum. His breath hitches and she smirks, dropping her hands. Looking at him out of the corner of her eye, she can see the faint red in his cheeks and struggles to keep a straight face. 

When he takes her hand in his, swinging their arms between them, Rose smiles up at him and listens to him ramble about the planet and the people. And if she stands closer to the Doctor, flirts more, touches more, well, she doesn’t think he minds. In fact, she’s enjoying it, seeing him flustered, losing track of what he’s saying, even stopping mid-sentence more than once. After one such moment, when her hand has drifted south again and he’s stopped midway through explaining why they can’t eat anything orange here, he glances down at her, his eyes narrow and she can’t help but giggle. 

He lets out an oddly sarcastic sigh, asking if she’s having fun and Rose tells him, truthfully, that she hasn’t had so much fun in a long time. The Doctor pulls her in for a hug at her words, lifting her off her feet and spinning her around. He doesn’t say anything, but the grin he wears when he puts her down is possibly the largest she’s ever seen and she can’t help but match it. 

A little while later they eat some of the local food, nothing orange she vaguely notes, before hand in hand, they head back to the TARDIS. Back home.

Once inside, Rose watches from the doors as the Doctor sends the ship into the Vortex. No matter how many times she sees him dance around the console, she never gets tired of the sight. But today, she’s barely seeing what he’s doing, so lost in the way everything feels so right. When he turns to face her, there’s a question in his eyes, but she doesn’t let him ask it. Instead, she holds out her hand, waiting for him to take it.

The Doctor does, without hesitation. He pulls her away from the doors and in close. For a moment, Rose just looks at him, searching, though she’s not sure what for. But all she finds is happiness, and hope. And love. And with his look, the last of her nerves dissipate and she makes her decision. She asks, “Come with me?”

“Always,” he replies with a soft smile.

With his hand in hers, Rose walks them out of the console room and down the corridor. They go past her room, where they’ve been sleeping recently, to a different but still familiar door. She can hear the Doctor’s quick breaths as where they are sinks in. She waits for a moment, almost expecting the nerves to come rushing back in, for this to feel like a bad idea. But the worry doesn’t come, instead his thumb brushes her knuckles and a sense of excitement, desire, _wanting_ , takes over.

Taking a deep breath, she opens the door and turns around to face him, stepping backwards and pulling him into _their_ room. The Doctor steps closer, swallowing loudly. Pulling him even closer, Rose lifts her head and kisses him.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

For a moment, as Rose’s lips touch his, the Doctor freezes. She’s kissing him again. Not just a chaste peck placed on his cheek, but a real kiss, her lips on his and as she starts to pull away, he panics. Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he tugs her near and opens his mouth when she licks his top lip. Aside from wanting to keep her close, he doesn’t even try for control of their kiss. This time, like he has done every day since she offered him another chance, he’ll follow her, let her set the pace and lead their way.

He finds he could happily spend their forever in this moment, Rose in his arms and her lips on his. But her hands push softly at his chest and he drops his arms instantly, about to apologise, or beg, or anything to have her not step away. She smiles at him, sliding her hands to his tie and undoing it. Oh, he grins, that’s good. Better than good. Excellent, brilliant even!

Rose giggles at him as she pulls his tie off. He raises an eyebrow at her and she says, “Brilliant even?”

Ah, he’s saying it out loud and there’s no point denying it. “Well, yes, better than brilliant,” the Doctor says, glancing down at her fingers as they nimbly undo the buttons on his shirt.

Looking up at her, he rests his hands on her hips, thumbs slipping beneath her shirt, stroking her skin, and how has he forgotten just how soft it is? He waits for her to finish with his buttons before he gently nudges her t-shirt up, waiting on, needing, her approval to actually help her remove it. She smiles at him, tongue poking between her teeth and his hearts stutter. For a while, he’s been scared that smile was lost, that she’s changed, that he’s changed her, too much. 

“Rose,” he whispers, “I…” He doesn’t even know what to say, how to explain how he feels, but as Rose pushes his shirt down his shoulders he decides, sometimes, actions speak louder. He lets go of her hips, letting his shirt fall to floor. His undershirt is quickly pushed up and dropped as well, leaving him with a bare chest. 

The Doctor can feel a rising blush as Rose runs her eyes over his bare skin. She tilts her head to the side, a little quirk she seems to have picked up since her regeneration, one that means she’s waiting for something. He’s not sure what and his confusion must show, because she takes his hands, placing them back on her hips and sliding them up, just enough to bare a inch of skin above her jeans.

“Oh,” he whispers, smiling as her hands drop and she raises her arms, his blood beginning a southward rush as her breasts rise with the movement. He runs his hands up the smooth skin of her sides, brushing the edges of her bra, humming happily at the little hitch in her breath. Within moments, her t-shirt hits the floor and he licks his lips, wondering if Rose would mind if he spent an hour, or two, tasting every bit of her skin.

Twisting one arm behind her, Rose’s other slides around his neck and the Doctor leans in, letting her capture his lips again. With her teeth nibbling at his bottom lip, he hears the drop of fabric, but doesn’t realise what it means until her bare breasts are pressing into his chest. He breaks from the kiss, groaning at the feel of her skin against his, once again. Rose sighs softly, tightening her arms, and he’s relieved that he’s not the only one who missed the feeling. 

After what could have been a minute, or ten, she moves back and his smile drops. There, on her shoulder is the scar from the Talpiden. The physical proof that he’s made so many mistakes. Too many. He steps back, hands falling to his sides, and eyes locked onto that stretched, raised skin. He doesn’t deserve her, he’s done so much wrong, and Rose should…

“I should what, Doctor?” she asks, taking his hand. “I should walk away? From you, from the TARDIS?” He nods, wanting her safe. Rose pulls his hand and he moves closer, unable to deny her anything. She places his hand on the scar and he runs his fingers over the rough skin as she continues. “I… Doctor, you’re deciding for me. Again.”

“No, Rose!” the Doctor says. “It’s just, I see that, and I’m scared. For you. You, you shouldn’t trust me.”

Moving even closer, Rose’s arms are quickly back around him, holding him tightly, her heartbeats a reassuring feel against his chest as she says, “But I do. I didn’t, but I do now.” He finally tears his eyes from her scar to look down at her face. She’s smiling up at him softly and whispering, “Doctor, don’t think of it like that, like a reminder that I shouldn’t trust you. But, more of a reminder, that you should trust me, yeah?”

The Doctor nods at her, wrapping his arms around her and letting the simple wisdom of her words sink in. “I love you,” he says just before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on the raised skin before trailing kisses up her neck, stopping when he reaches her ear, quietly whispering the words to her. She shivers, and he’s proud. 

Rose tries to pulls back and he tightens his arms, panicking, until her hands slip under the waistband of his trousers and pants, stroking his skin. And oh, she just wants to… Abruptly, the fading arousal surges back to life, his blood heading the same direction as her hands. He groans, pulling back a little. Her hands move to his front, one brushing across the growing bulge, intentionally, judging by her smirk, before moving to the clasp. He gulps, loudly.

As she undoes the clasp, Rose glances up at him then down at her jeans and, for all he claims to be a genius, it takes him until she’s pulling down his fly to realise she’s telling him he can do the same. The Doctor manages to have the button on her jeans and the fly undone before she’s tugging his boxer briefs off, leaving him naked in front of her. He’s certain the way she licks her lips could cause him to regenerate on the spot. 

Pushing her jeans off her hips, he manoeuvres them so the bed’s behind her. Rose smiles up at him, taking her knickers off before reaching up to kiss him. Her hands slide down his back, grabbing at his arse and his hips buck, causing her to moan. 

“Doctor, you can touch me,” she says, biting her lip. “Please.”

His hands slide from her back, around to her breasts, cupping them, thumbs brushing over her nipples. Rose sighs, head dropping back and the skin of her neck calls to him. He leans down, capturing the skin in his teeth. The Doctor bites and sucks, hard enough to leave a mark, causing her to moan loudly, the noise going directly to his groin.

When he releases her, Rose tugs him backwards and onto the bed with her. He follows her, lying on his side, facing her. She slides her hand up his side and down, resting it on his hip as she quirks an eyebrow at him. His hand is moving up her side now, almost at her breast when she slips hers down, wrapping it around his cock and stroking, just once. Taking that as permission, he changes the direction of his hand, sliding down her curves, across the skin of her stomach and down, over her damp curls. Slipping a finger between her folds, he groans at how wet she is. He pulls his hand up, flicking his tongue out to taste her. He smirks and she moans, her thighs twitching as she watches him.

Desperate to taste her, to make come apart, the Doctor pushes Rose onto her back, trailing kisses down her neck, over her collarbone, between her breasts. But when he reaches just above her navel, she grabs his shoulders, pulling him up, and he doubts, sitting up and trying to move backwards. She doesn’t let him, holding tightly to his hand.

“I’m sorry, Rose, I didn’t mean to push, I, just wanted…” he says quickly, trailing off as he realises she’s still holding his shoulders and smiling softly.

“I want that too, Doctor. But, not this time,” she says.

He can feel the tension drain from him and hopefully asks, “Next time?”

With a bite of her lip, she nods. “And the time after that, if you want.”

The Doctor nods enthusiastically, causing her to giggle, and relief courses through him as her words settle in, their future appearing brighter. And more naked. He’s sure his grin is not in any way seductive, but as Rose nudges him over, it doesn’t matter, and he falls backwards, pulling her over him as he goes.

He growls at the feel of her coming to rest over his cock. She blinks then smirks, rolling her hips and dragging her wet heat along the length of him. His growl turns into a groan as Rose sits up, rising onto her knees and hovering over him. Taking him in hand, she strokes once, grinning as his hips buck. There’s the sound of someone saying please and it takes him a moment to realise it’s him. Her grin changes into a smile and she positions him at her entrance, grabbing his shoulders as she slides down his cock, sheathing him.

The feel of her, tight, hot, surrounding him, makes the Doctor moan and, while he loves the feel of her hips in his hands, the sight of her above him, her head fallen back, breasts heaving, it’s not enough. “Please, Rose, please move,” he pleads.

Rose lifts her head, smiles down at him, and then raises her hips, rising up his cock and he’d forgotten how good that felt, the friction of her moving off him, and, he groans, the feeling of her dropping back down, taking him back inside is even better. He wants to kiss her, he wants to fuck her, he just wants her, any way she’ll have him. Slipping his hands around to her back, he pulls her down, her breasts pressing against his chest and he captures her lips with his. The movement between them changes, his hips bucking upwards and pushing into her as she grinds down onto him. Rose’s lips break from his as he finds a particularly lovely movement and she moans loudly. 

The Doctor keeps a steady pace, pushing up into her in short thrusts until her rhythm starts to stutter. She needs more and he wants to watch her, to see her. He moves his lips to her ear “Rose, my Rose. Take me. Use me,” he says, almost growling, “Want to see you. Above me. Breaking apart. Just for me.”

Rose whimpers and pushes up, her mouth slightly open as he rests one hand on her hip, the other sliding down to where they’re joined. The Doctor slides his finger over her clit, watching her hips buck. She bites her lip, puts her hands on his shoulders and pushes up, quickly sliding back down his cock. He follows her, each rise and fall, his fingers stay on her, pushing her closer and closer. Her muscles flutter and just as her hips rise, he whispers, “I love you,” and her hips slam down, her mouth drops and her head falls back as every muscle in her tightens as she comes.

In all his hundreds of years, the Doctor is certain he’s never seen anything so magnificent as Rose Tyler, coming apart above him. 

When she finally looks down at him, she simply says, “I love you too.” 

Unable to wait any longer, he pulls her back down to him, kissing her and flipping them over, leaving her on her back below him. He keeps hold of her lips as he raises himself onto his elbows and pulls his hips back. His return thrust is forceful, desperate and Rose groans up at him, and he repeats the movement, setting up a rhythm, moving hard and fast, her hips moving against his. He wants to see her break again, to feel her clenching around him, to feel her pull him closer and, as if she can read his mind, she slips one hand between them.

The feel of Rose’s fingers touching his cock as he withdraws, her fingers resting between them as he returns, pushes him closer to edge. His rhythm falters, his thrusts become shorter, faster, her wet heat tightening around him. Breaking their kiss, the Doctor bites down on her shoulder, her hips buck upwards and she clenches around his cock, coming again. The knowledge that he did this to her, the feel of her tightening around him, pulls him over and he falls, releasing deep inside her with a low groan.

The Doctor collapses forward and, when he can breathe again, he rolls over onto his back, taking Rose with him, once again. Always. He softens and slips out of her, and though she wriggles slightly, he refuses to let her go. Rose places a soft kiss on his chest and there are no other words, he thinks, as she snuggles into him and simply mutters, “My Doctor.”

His hearts stutter, his breath hitches and, before he can stop the words slipping out, the Doctor asks, “Marry me?”

He feels her gasp and she raises her head, eyes wide and hopeful, and he nods. Accidental the words may be, but he means it. Rose smiles, wide and bright, answering, “Just say when and where.”

“Every time, Rose, and every place.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note to the people who've listened to me whinge when stuck and prodded me to keep going, THANK YOU! (You know who you are and I love you all!) 
> 
> A special HUGE thanks to [Silver](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarsilverwolfstar) who's been an amazing beta, helping me so often.

**Author's Note:**

> So, i have a little trouble letting go, and a lot of ideas about what happens next. But it's open to personal choice as it stands. Anyway , the 'Epilogue' is [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2183724/) if you're interested. It mentions Donna, River and is pure teeth-rotting fluff.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Fan the Flames](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7717348) by [lethargy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lethargy/pseuds/lethargy)




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